37 Weeks

I have made it. Max can come any time now and be considered a full term infant...and I encourage him to do so.

I am so tired, sore and worn out. When it comes to this stage of pregnancy, I am a wimp. I am a horrible mother when it comes to pregnancy, but I think a pretty good one when the baby gets here :)

I am pretty sure today was my last day of work. I am too sore and tired to continue and honestly I'm of little value right now. As long as Max comes next week, I won't regret going out now.

I am holding on hope that Thursday will be end of this pregnancy and that I will have a little baby in my arms. I must just keep focusing on that.

Today's Appointment

Well, today was a mixed bag. No real news but maybe a plan?

My cervix, despite the pain and pressure, is the same. 2cm. Max's head has come down some more though, so that's good. She checked to see if I was leaking any amniotic fluid, based on some things lately, and I'm not. So that's good...I guess. I had another US. Max is still head down and well engaged but OMG...in 4 weeks he has put on over 2lbs! Neither I nor the midwife expected that. He is now approximately 7lbs 4oz.

I checked out fine. BP good, urine good, weight - actually lost 5lbs.

So our plan...my next appointment was made for next Thursday, December 3rd. If everything looks okay she will strip my membranes and be more active with trying to bring on labor. The concern is now that Max is growing quickly and I don't want a 10lbs baby!!

So, while I still hope that my three days of working on the unit this week will bring on labor, it looks like late next week may be the 'end'.

36 Weeks

The magical 36 weeks. I am finally there!

This past week has been another long week with uncertainty and waiting, but Max really was were he needed to be - inside growing :) I still have days with hours of contractions and anxiety over whether the 'big event' may be near. The waiting sucks but I know it won't last forever.

Thursday my work had a baby shower for me. It was very nice with co-workers floating in and out, yummy food and of course generous gifts. I think I have everything I need for the little man now all I need to do is unpack and organize it all. My thank you cards have finally shipped, so maybe those will come in before Max is born and I will have time to send them all out.

Today was a little extra uncomfortable. Whatever position Max is in, resulted in intense shooting pain down my belly and into my pelvis. OUCH! Hopefully he will decide to shift soon and give his poor mama a break.

This weekend will be fairly low key. Tomorrow I am going to a Holiday Bazaar and hoping to finish my shopping. Other than that...no plans! Then I think my dad will be coming this weekend and staying the week which will be VERY NICE. Doctors appointment, which includes an US on Monday and then our typical busy Tuesday.

One more week of living day to day....but the end is near.

Another Appointment Today

Pretty un-exciting.

My midwife chose not to check my cervix again since she just checked it last week. She said based on my history of walking around dilated for several weeks with the twins, one week wasn't going to make a huge difference. I don't disagree with her, but it would have been semi-nice to know where I stood.

My blood pressure and urine were fine. Platelets dropped again, but still aren't at any dangerous level (143) so I'm happy with that. Weight was actually down a pound or two.

My midwife thinks I will deliver between 37 and 38 weeks which is good for Max, and I guess I can put up with two more weeks of this. This week at work I am out of staffing which is great, but next week, being a holiday week, I am back on the floor which will be VERY difficult. Who knows, maybe this is what will put me into labor - I honestly wouldn't be surprised! After this Friday (36 weeks) I will be okay if he comes. I know 36 weeks is still early yet, but any major issues should be avoided by this mark.

If you go by some current theories of my friends, Max will be born on Thanksgiving since the twins were born on Valentines Day. This will put me just under 37 weeks. I'll take it!

35 Weeks

Everything is about the same. Contractions and cramping; crazy pressure and pain...but nothing worse and no more bleeding. Max is still very active as well.

Still hoping for at least one more week, although 2 would be better. I have another appointment on Tuesday so we shall see.

This weekend I hope to take care of my to-do list. Knock out most of my Christmas Shopping (I'm thinking mostly gift cards) and get the h0use cleaned. I believe J, my sister is going to help me with the latter. We'll see how much I can get done.

Gymnastics on Monday and Tuesday; Appointment Tuesday; Back to work Wednesday to Friday and I'll be 36 weeks before I know it!

An Interesting Day

Today has been a little nerve wracking. It has been spent pretty uncomfortably with constant cramping, frequent contractions and nausea. I feel bad and I cant help but feel like labor might be near (although I've never been in labor so I don't really have anything to base that on).

**And TMI Alert**
This evening when going to the bathroom, I found that I also had bright red, bloody discharge.

I would really like Max to stay put a little longer. I will be 35 weeks this Friday but that still makes me nervous. I would much rather he stick around until at least 36 weeks. The last thing I want is leaving a baby in the NICU when I go home.

Doctors Appointment

Today was a busy day.

We started out with maternity shots done by a local photographer. She does amazing work and I hope that some of these pics turn out, but with the way the twins acted, I'm not so sure. They were such butt heads - and that's putting it nicely. I should get a preview later this week and my full CD next week.

Then I had to run to work for an all day meeting, but arrived late due to said photo shoot. Spent the rest of the morning/afternoon discussing things I really had no interest in all the while wishing I could crawl into a bed somewhere and take a nap.

Next was a doctor's appointment. I had decided that I wasn't going to have her check my cervix because it was so early and why go through the trouble. Well when I mentioned that I had some (TMI warning) blood tinged discharge this am, she wanted to check. Well, low and behold I am 2cm dilated and 60% effaced. Great! I have so much shit to do and now most likely only 1 or 2 weeks to do it in. I emailed my boss and told her that I would appreciate a lighter assignment because although I would LOVE to be not pregnant, I would like Max to hang around at least another two weeks to avoid a NICU stay. And surprise, I am now on weekly doctor visits and have orders to take it easy.

I will say that with the twins I walked around for three weeks at 3cm and 80% effaced and never went into labor so I'm not hugely concerned that labor is imminent right now. Of course, with the twins I wasn't working and didn't have toddlers and everything else I have to keep up with, and I'm sure this can make a difference.

So, I will try to take it easy....except for the million things I need to get done, the appointments I must keep, the gymnastic classes, the speech therapy and the general day to day goings on. That's easy...right?

Hoping this is just a Fluke

The last 24 hours has been miserable. I woke up early this morning, around 4am, with intense abdominal pain. It lasted for about 2 hours. I almost called my midwife, but I knew it wasn't contractions and rather just pain and I must have fallen back asleep about 6am.

I woke up with the alarm at eight and realized I was once again in pain. Within the hour I was throwing up food I had the night before for dinner. Since then, I have not vomited again, nor have I had the intense pain, but my gosh, everything that goes into my mouth makes me nauseous. I haven't taken any meds because this feels more mechanical than hormonal. It feels like my stomach or intestines are so compressed that nothing is moving through.

Hoping this is just a short lived thing. I guess it really even could be a stomach virus. I am hoping for the first thing because if it is a virus, only a matter of time before the twins start with it.

33 Weeks....A Total Bitch and Moan Post

Warning...the following post is full of pitiful whining and bitching...you've been warned.

Sleep - I am so friggin tired. I feel like I can't do this anymore. I get maybe 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night but of course not consecutively. I wake up constantly. I can't sleep in a bed...I can't sleep in the chair. On days I am home I compensate by lounging around the house all day and forcing the twins to take a nap. On days I work it's PURE HELL. I am always behind and exhausted at work and then I come home and I'm a zombie.

Work - I think there should be a law that women beyond 30 weeks of pregnancy shouldn't have to work. It's torture. I want to spend as much time as I can with Max after he born which means I have to force myself to work now. I spend my shift running up and down halls, tending to the sick and needy all the while being short of breath, fighting off painful contractions and disabling exudation. After tomorrow I have committed to 4 more weeks of work, one of those being out of staffing working on our units schedule. I just don't know if this body of mine will work for 4 more weeks.

Pain - My SPD is killing me. This impacts my sleep horribly. The saddest thing about SPD is the most painful activity is lying in bed. So even when I get the chance to sleep, it is accompanied but excruciating pain. Every time I move an inch I wake up in pain. I have been near tears just wishing that I could have one night were I can sleep without hurting. With the twins it was also horrible but didn't start until about 28 weeks. I have had this now since about 15 weeks of pregnancy and it just gets worse and worse. Sitting also hurts like hell so about the only thing I can do to stay pain free is stand. Well...I have no energy and I am beyond tired...so the standing isn't really a great solution either.

Okay. I needed to spew that out. I try not to complain too often. I have tried hard not to only bitch and moan with this blog...but I needed to do this. My midwife thinks I won't last until past 38 weeks. This is what is keeping me going. 4 more weeks of work...5 more weeks of this discomfort.

Some one tell me I can do this....

Good Appointment Today

I had my 32 week appointment this afternoon. Everything went well.

I had another US and Max looks great. His weight is up to 4lbs 10oz and he was moving like crazy! Of course he was facing my back again! so no great facial snapshots. He remains head down which is great.

My BP is good. I didn't gain any weight the last 2 weeks and my urine is clear. Still have swollen feet but it hasn't progressed any, or gotten any worse. I expressed some of my concern with bruising so my midwife drew another platelet count which actually came back a little higher. I guess I was just noticing things that maybe were there all along, I just wasn't paying attention.

I will have another 'check up' in two weeks and then a final US and full exam two weeks after that. My midwife says that at the 36 week mark we can finalize our plans...re-check platelets...and check my cervix to make an educated guess about when labor will occur. Since I started dilating and effacing at 32 weeks with the twins, she guesses I won't make it past 38 weeks...and that is fine by me :)

32 Weeks

I am posting my weekly update a day early because I doubt I will get the chance tomorrow.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the 8th month. I am so happy to be this far and although this pregnancy hasn't been near as horrible as my last one, I am more than happy to be nearing the end.

There isn't much to update. I will have my 32 week check up and US on Monday so hopefully I'll have some good updates and pictures. I am still a little worried about my platelet level, so hopefully she'll draw some labs as well.

Max is moving plenty and I think the little bugger turned back to feet down a day or two ago, however I am pretty sure he's back to head down. The twins are ready for their brother to be here, although I'm sure they don't have a real sense of what that really means.

Tomorrow I have day one of my required birthing class. I really don't want to take this, as I'm not sure how much it will really help, but I am required to take it if I want insurance to pay for my delivery. A good friend of mine will join me tomorrow night and all day Saturday, so at least I will have someone to talk to some.

31 Weeks

Doing okay.

Had another doctor's appointment yesterday. Blood pressure and urine are fine. Other than that, no real exam. My swelling is still present, but just in my lower legs and feet, so from what I understand, not a big deal. I will go for another US in just over a week.

Work has decided to make the H1N1 vaccine mandatory so I guess soon enough I will be getting the vax :( I was still undecided and I HATE like hell that someone else is making the decision for me, but what can I do. I can fight it, but I will probably lose. Time to just suck it up I guess.

My other worry is my low platelet count. I am a little worried because I have noticed that I bleed a little easier after my Copaxone shots and the other day I knocked my leg into S's bike and ended up with a hematoma and horrible bruise. These might be signs that my platelets are getting into the dangerous levels. I kinda forgot to tell my midwife yesterday, so I will tell her at the next appointment. I will be just over 32 weeks at that point, so she may decide to draw some more labs. I am really afraid that this platelet crap will end up causing me trouble and taking me out of work. I really don't want to be out of work until the baby is here. I do not want to go back any sooner than I have to, and I only have 12 weeks total.

Life is never easy huh? :)

Painting...Check!

Yep, that's right. The nursery is finally done. Well as far as paint goes :-) Now I just have everything else to do. Tomorrow I will start putting up the window treatments and some of the wall hangings. My sister is going to come over on Wednesday and help me move some of the furniture around. Maybe by the end of next week I will be able to post some pics of my Little Guy's new room.

It's kind of surreal. With my weight I am thinking I will probably run into some issues near the end of my pregnancy and need to deliver prior to 40 weeks. Since full term is 37 weeks, I figure any time after then is fair game. With me being 27.5 weeks pregnant, that means Max could potentially be here in less than 10 weeks! While this is very exciting, it also makes me realize how unprepared I am!

My biggest problem with getting stuff done right now is my lack of energy and soreness. I did great to get the nursery painted, but now I look at everything else that needs to be done, and I want to go lay down - LOL. My goal is to have the nursery and major things done by 30 weeks. That gives me about 2.5 weeks to work on it!

Sleep

Or lack there of.

Why is it so elusive during the times you need it most?

I remember this with the twins, although I think it was much later in the pregnancy. The last three nights I went to bed early, or at least for me early which was about 10:30pm. I woke up more tired then when I laid down. The first two nights there was really no reason for it. Last night it was probably the fact that I was sharing my full size bed with two wriggling toddlers.

You know, it's really not fair that your body does this to you. I mean I know in 14 short weeks I will have an infant that wakes me every 2-3 hours anyway, so some say this prepares you for it. But I believe it's this last 14 weeks when you should be able to get the sleep of your life. Store up all that sleep and energy for the months of deprivation that is coming.

Anyway, that's my rant for this evening :) Tomorrow is a busy day. A baby shower that I semi-organized; grocery shopping and maybe, if I'm lucky...a nap!

99 Days

Yep, that's how many days I have left being pregnant :) I have hit the double digits and I am hoping those 99 days fly by. I doubt they will, but I will keep hoping.

Another great milestone...4 weeks. That's how long it's been since I have been routinely taking my nausea meds. I no longer roll over in the morning and pop a Zofran before I even open my eyes. Instead, 3 or 4 times a week, I take a dose because of some queasiness that comes over me. It's been almost as long since I have vomited and although I never feel 100% as far as nausea is concerned, I feel so much better than I ever thought was possible.

Swelling is better too. I am trying to keep my feet elevated, but also watch the amount of salt in my diet. I'm sooooooo not a salt eater. In fact, I lived in this house for almost a year before I even bought a salt shaker and that was because my mother ordered me to when she came and cooked for Thanksgiving. But man! With this pregnancy, most of what I crave is high salt food. Popcorn, french fries, pickles. Yum!

My SPD still sucks, but quite honestly I know that pain will not go away until shortly after delivery, so I have just learned to suck it up. I'm sure in the next 14 weeks I will start experiencing even more fun pregnancy 'joys' but I'm up for them. As long as this nausea stays away...I am up for anything.

A Long Pregnancy Update

So I thought I would give you all an update on where I am with the pregnancy.

I will start with today. I had a follow up US and it showed that my placenta has moved up nicely. This should mean that an attempt at a vaginal delivery should now be possible. We did not reassess the cord entry on this US, but Max is weighing about 1lbs 5oz putting him in the 40th percentile with growth. I am happy with this, as S was always about the 40th while K sat around the 10th. I think Max, like his siblings, will be tall and skinny. I will still get monthly US to assess for growth, but for now, everything looks good.

I also talked to the OB (not mine, she was out sick) about the H1N1 vaccine. This vaccine really scares me as it was produced in a response to panic, not clear thinking. But after talking to her, I think I will break down and get myself vaccinated. By the time it's available, I will be about 30 weeks pregnant which means the likelihood of anything happening to Max from the vaccine is slim. I am still very torn on what to do with the twins.


My nausea is hardly an issue. I mean I do feel a little nauseous most days, but I have only needed to take a Zofran once or twice the past few weeks. I can't believe how good that feels. I still worry a little that it may come back, but overall I am enjoying the relief. Now I wish this fatigue would ease of some and I would be in good shape.


With this pregnancy I am experiencing symptoms I never had with the twins...which is odd since you'd think with two babies, I would experience every symptom. I pee all the time, I already have a hard time sleeping and I feel CONSTANT movement...that last one of course is pretty cool. The one symptoms though, that I wish would go away is swelling. I never swelled up with the twins. This time, by the evening my feet have 3 to 4+ pitting edema and hurt so badly. I swear it feels like my skin is just going to split open. My blood pressure has been checked and is holding at a normal level (118/80 today) so it's not an eclampsia issue...just my luck I guess. At least at work, my shoes seem to keep the fluid from pooling, so I'm not too uncomfortable there.


Here is a pic of my swollen feet, but quite honestly I don't think this picture does it justice

My other issue is SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) I developed this with the twins around 26 weeks. When your pregnant your pelvic ligament stretch and separate to accommodate the passage of the baby through the birth canal, well with spd, you have such relaxation, your pubic bone actually separates from itself. Not uncommon with multiples. Well mine was so bad with the twins, they thought I may need PT or even surgery to fix the issue. After the twins I seemed to heal well and except for a little flair when they were about one, I had figured it was healed.

I guess not, since at about 15-17 weeks this time the intense pain started again. It is a constant shooting pain which makes all movement painful and sleeping in a bed unbearable at times. I am hoping again for a quick post partem recovery, but the thought of 16 more weeks of this is daunting at times.

So, anyway, despite the spd and the swelling, this pregnancy is tolerable. I'm still not one of those glowing, happy, celebrating the miracle of life pregnant women, but I am happier than I was at this point with the twins. I am appreciating the cooler weather (yeah 70's!) and with school starting up and talk of upcoming events and holidays, I am hoping the next 16 weeks fly by :)

Here is a 24 belly shot just for fun. Keep in mind I hate pics of myself, so you all are very lucky :P

Ugh!

So today sucked for a few reasons....

I will start with the positive though and say that I am feeling good again. And based on what I will say in a minute, I believe my feeling crappy this weekend was actually an illness vs pregnancy kicking my butt again. I went all day today without meds and my energy level was pretty good again!

I will also add another positive and say that today I tackled my computer desk. I have a very large L-Shaped desk which is always piled high with crap. Well after working at it ALL DAY LONG, the top hutch is clear of everything and the desk itself has very little clutter - YEAH!

Now onto the sucky...

This morning I woke up to K throwing up in my bed :( Not good. This of course is why I think I was sick over the weekend. K threw up again once more later in the afternoon, again in my bed while napping. So, so far that's two whole bed changes. A third was later added when after said Nap it turned out that S peed the bed, which he hasn't done during nap since way back in February or March.

My mom decided today was the day to tell me that I didn't keep my house clean enough or pay enough attention to my kids...WTF! She said that I either spend the day on the couch or the computer and needed to spend my down time cleaning or playing with the kids. I wanted to rip her apart. Like I haven't already posted here about how guilty I feel about my ability to parent my children with as shitty as I have been feeling. I tried to explain to her that being pregnant, with hyperemesis and MS meant that I had no energy. That I literally sometimes spent time on the computer so that I wouldn't fall asleep; that when I had down time...I was literally so tired that there was nothing I could do but lie on the couch. She also said the way the kids get themselves dressed and get themselves snacks in the kitchen meant I was letting them run wild. Um, what is wrong with encouraging Independence in my children? When the baby gets here those abilities will be crucial as when I am breast feeding to dealing with an infant, I won't be able to drop everything to get the twins a slice of cheese. Whatever....she has no clue.

Then my patience with N has hit it's limit. As much as I complain here I never actually vent to her at all. I have never blown up at her or told her how I felt, which if you knew me IRL you would be amazed as I generally tell people at some time or another exactly what I think. Well I hot my breaking point when my mom, as one of her points, said that N was once again complaining that she has to do everything around here....Um BULLSHIT! N does do many things around this house, I will give her credit for that, but she has never ONCE been asked to do any of it. In fact many times she has been told not to do it...well I am done. I told her tonight not to touch a damn thing in my house. Don't touch my dishes, my laundry, the vacuum, NOTHING! I don't want to hear it anymore. N loves to play the victim and thus far I have ignored it, but no more. She can do for herself and nothing more...I don't want to give her anymore fuel for her fire. I am done. She tried to deny it for a minute but when I told her the people who had told me about her complaining, she shut up immediately. I think she forgets that all her contacts are my friends and there for inform me of her bullshit.

Yes, I'm sure being pregnant didn't make today any better, but I just can't handle these people in my life right now!

A Very Good Week

But a crappy today.

I spent most of last week med free. A few times I had to take something half way through the day, but overall did very well. My energy level was even up a bit even though my mood and hormones were through the roof.

But this morning. Eck. I woke up exhausted. I threw up while getting the kids breakfast before I could even have one bit to eat. I spent the morning on the flooor watching TV with the kids, followed by a long afternoon nap.

When I woke up...there is was. A migraine. Continued to feel nauseous throughout the day, and even had to pull myself together for a birthday party at the pool this evening. Eck.

I Knew Something Was Up

While laying in bed, having a nap with K & S, I thought that K felt awful hot. Sometimes its hard to tell as when they sleep I swear they turn into little ovens, but this felt different. I chose to try and ignore it and fell asleep.

Well, a mother should always trust her gut because when we all wok up K started saying her tummy hurt and then...Blech. Vomit.

I wonder how long before she stops. A tummy bug in this house always seems to have a very short life span - like 6-8 hours, but isn't usually accompanied by a fever. I also wonder how long before S gets it. Tomorrow morning I have an OB apt, which I was going to take them to, but now I probably need to work on a sitter.

Oh and I had gone the whole day without any meds, the whole day that is until the vomit. Of course dealing with that clean up immediately sent my stomach into a tail spin and I popped some Zofran. But all in all, still doing pretty good I think :-)


ETA: Its about 2 hours later and K already seems better. Has had apple juice, a popsicle and some noodles. She's even got her energy back. Yeah for quick illness'!!

Day #2

I woke up this morning and decided to tempt fate again :o) I didn't take my Zofran. I felt a little queasy but ate breakfast and felt good. We did a bunch of running around this morning and I was fine! When I got home and ate lunch I did start to feel a little worse, so I went ahead and took the Zofran.

This is great! Before I would go from bad to worse as far as the nausea but now I seem to start out okay and maybe only need my meds in the afternoon? IDK but I think I will continue to try not taking the Zofran in the morning and see how it goes. I am a little leery of proclaiming that I am getting better. When I was pregnant with the twins from about 22 to 26 weeks I had a break from the nausea, but then it came back full force. Trying to stay positive though and hope this decrease in nausea is going to last until the end...and who knows...maybe even continue to get better :o)

This afternoon after the kids napped we went to Babies R Us and registered for Max. I was a little leery of starting a registry. After all I have been told by some that I do not get another shower because this is my second pregnancy. But then I have also been pressured by others to get a registry going and several offers to host a shower for me. So, either way, I now have a simple registry. Mostly breastfeeding and pumping supplies; some basic things for baby; and one or two equipment requests. Overall a very basic, down to earth registry...I think :)