The BIG Day

Today was K's surgery. I think it went as well as could be expected.

We left the house for the hospital at 7a and got there about 8a. They took us back fairly quickly and got K into a hospital gown and seated us in the holding area. K has her blankie and her new Pillow Pet (she got this to 'help' her through surgery). Up until this point K had actually been quite calm, but while waiting in the holding room, she started to get nervous and a little tearful.

After talking to a few docs, they administered an oral dose of Versed. Wow. Within 10 minutes K was laughing, talking out of her head, eyes rolling back, and in and out of sleep. While it was kind of funny to see her act this way, it was also a bit scary to see my little girl this out of it. I held her like this for about 10 minutes and then they came and took her from me and into the OR. She didn't seem to mind, and although nervous, I was okay too.

When K went back it was shortly after 9a and the notified me of the procedure start at 10:15a. I went down to the cafeteria and had some breakfast and worked on things from work. At about 12:30p I got called back into the PACU to sit with her while she woke up.

At first she was asleep but within 10 minutes woke up. She woke up really well and although she didn't like the way her leg felt - she said it felt like rubber - she seemed okay with everything...until she saw the IV in her hand. OMG. She hated that thing and would not let anyone near it! In the PACU she sat up, talked the nurses ear off, ate graham crackers and a popsicle. She seemed really awake and calm.

At 1:30p we headed to our room and this is when K seemed to get overwhelmed with everything. She started to cry and became very restless. I couldn't calm her very easily and she was upset with everything the nurse or I tried to do. The staff gave her some toys, which calmed her for a moment, but she quickly returned to her restless state. She stayed this way until about 3pm when she fell asleep (and I think mommy did too).


At 5p K woke up and seemed to be in a better mood again. She was hungry which was good since dinner was being delivered. Well, you would have thought that being a childrens hospital, there would be children friendly meals, but not so. Her dinner was beef stew, broccoli, side salad, roll and sweet tea. One look and I knew K would have none of that. She kept asking for pizza...so I found pizza (I got lost a few times and almost gave up at one point).


After dinner the doctor made his rounds and said we could go home. K was excited as was I. After a miserable, screaming, thrashing ordeal with removing her IV, K got dressed in her PJ's and we headed home. I think we left there right about 7pm.

When we got home K was excited to show her brothers her new toys and battle wounds. She received a nerve block in surgery, so she is still unable to move her leg very well, or have much feeling. Due to this, I will be carrying her around tonight. Tomorrow all the meds should be out of her system and she will have normal function and sensation of the leg.

Here is hoping to a quick recovery, a successful surgery and a clean biopsy report!

Please Keep Charlotte in your Thoughts

I have a friend who just had a baby on August 3rd. Baby Charlotte was born seemingly healthy and was the second daughter to join the family.

On Friday it was noticed that Baby Charlotte wasn't eating as she should, and on closer inspection they found she has an intestinal blockage. Charlotte was transferred to the Children's Hospital - the same on K will be at on Wednesday - for further work up and possible surgery. From the little bit I know, it sounds like the baby may have Necrotizing enterocolitis which can be quite serious.

Please keep this family in your thoughts. I can't imagine the level of stress they are under.

When it Rains, it Pours

This week is K's surgery. I have been getting more anxious as time goes by and the date gets closer. I was hoping for busy, but calm days leading up to surgery but life had other plans.

Friday night while looking in M's mouth I see some small white patches. Great. Thrush. The twins had it horrible as infants. Two rounds of Nystatin and then Diflucan to get rid of it. It was miserable. I didn't want to go through that again, so I decided to call the pediatrician first thing Saturday morning to get an appointment to get started on treatment early.

So Saturday morning I wait for 9am so that I can call the doctor. While waiting K comes into my room and says 'my toe hurts'. I look and on K's right big toe there is a huge grape size blister filled with pus. Great. An Abcess. I call the doctor and make appointments for both. While we were getting ready, the abcess breaks and (TMI) a huge pool of pus drains out.

We get to the doctor. M does have thrush. It's early though and very mild (Yeah!) He is started on Nystatin Mouth Wash and I am started on Nystatin Cream - since he is still breastfeeding. K does have an abcess. Since it's already broken, no need to drain, but we do get 10 days of antibiotics. K has a slight temperature but I'm told as long as it doesn't get worse, she should be fine for surgery.

And, you would think that would be enough. But no. Tonight (Sunday) N is complaining that she is in so much pain she can't walk. She is using her walker, the one she hasn't used since the twins were born, to help her around the house. She has intense pain to her right side, she denies she ever fell, but I don't know what else would have caused this. So while I am at work tomorrow, a friend will be taking her to the urgent care to see if we can figure out whats wrong with her.

Please...no more...I can't handle it.

I Want to Hurt N

Back Story...

When the twins were one I made them each a small quilt with squares from memorable outfits from their first year. While K liked hers, but never really carried it around, S became super attached to his and it became his 'onnie'. He has carried that thing around from the age of one to present day. He sleeps with it, he plays with it and there is a fight every time we leave the house about how onnie needs to stay home. S even refers to it as 'he'. Like as in 'onnie needs to come in the car or he will get lonely'.

Well needless to say, this onnie is not in great shape. It's no longer the vibrant blue and other colors it was, it has many stains, rips and holes, but to me this is what gives it it's personality and what makes it all the more special to him. The blanket shows the love it has received.

Today, while at the hospital with K, N felt it was necessary to take the blanket apart so that she should crochet a new cover to it. WTF!!?? S's special onnie and she destroys it?? Something sentimental and special to both S and I and she takes it apart!! I am so livid. I almost started to cry. I just looked at her and said 'its not his onnie anymore. You should have asked me before touching it' and I walked away. I haven't said another word to her tonight because I can't. If she wanted to crochet something for S, fine, but don't involve the old one.

This is a perfect example of why it's hard to live with N. This has nothing to do with her dementia. This is her personality. Her way is the better way and she spends most of her time changing things when I'm not looking to fit her way. She saw a ratty blanket and took it upon herself to mess with it. She would never for a second think of talking to me about it first.

I'm sure the anger will fade, but right now I am just trying to figure out a way to save S's onnie :0(

My Growing Man, S

Between K's leg and M's first year, S has kind of gotten ignored recently. I wanted to take the time to talk about my little man.

In the last few months he has melted my heart with how awesome he has embraced the role of big brother. He loves to be around M. From the early days when he called his baby brother his 'little co-conut' to now his 'Maxie-poo'. S loves to play and watch M for me. S thinks it's totally awesome when M laughs at him or gives him his trademark grin and now that M is crawling, S couldn't be happier.

Today while I laid down I watched S play with M in the nursery. He showed M how to use all his toys. He put M on the bouncy zebra toy and when M started to fuss, S said "it's okay maxie-poo, I got you" He does things like this all day long and I can't help but grin when I hear them.

Things like this make me so happy because sometimes I get frustrated with S with his behaviour and lack of impulse control. I sometimes worry about how mature S is compared to his peers and fear how difficult the routine of school will be for him. But my worries completely dissapear when I see how in love he is with his brother; how S's gentle spirit and compassion shine through when he's with his brother; and how mature he really is when he is playing the role of big brother.

I imgine this relationship will only continue to grow when M starts to walk and then run. I have a feeling I will be yelling at the two of them real soon while they are covered in mud with a handfull of bugs. Nothing better than that :0)

Phew...That Was a Long Day!

And to our surprise, since K is otherwise healthy, no lab draws!

Surgery is schedule for Wednesday. We will need to be there first thing. As long as there are no complications she should be able to go home late that afternoon. They are going to give her some Versed and then once she becomes 'super happy' they will put the gas mask on her and put her out before sticking any IV's or such into her which makes me happy. They did not plan on doing any biopsies so I did put in that special request which they said they would be happy to do (the cancer nurse in me just wouldn't be happy without one, and I'm not sure if I had said this before, but my step-brother died at the age of 4 from bone cancer, so this hits a little close to home).

We went an visited the Chidren's Hospital so K could see how fun it was. She saw a few of the playrooms and wanted to play today. I told her she would have to wait until next Wednesday, which might be a little mean, because I'm thinking she might not be able to visit next week being right after surgery. We had our special 'girls only' lunch at Subway and K got the cutest porcelain doll from the anesthesia department for being good

I also visited with financial and they said that my out of pocket was going to be about $1400! While thats crazy I was thinking higher so I guess it could be worse. They said I should apply for financial review because of my single parent status and the lady thought that between insurance discounts and some financial aid I may even be able to cut that amount in half.

The stupidist thing of the day is that it costs money to park in the parking deck - the only parking available - and they only take cash, which I did not know until I tried to exit the deck. I NEVER carry cash on me and I was only able to scrounge up $1 from the change compartment in the car. So now I have a stupid $3 IOU on my car for next week. UGH. Stupid deck only taking cash!!

Tomorrow is Big Day Number One

Tomorrow K and I will be spending the day at the Childrens Hospital for her pre-op visit. We will talk to anesthesia and the interventional radiologist to get our game plan for next Wednesday. There will also be some blood work, which I have prepared K for, but I am still dreading.

I will have more information tomorrow about the times and exact procedures but right now I am thinking we will go in early in the morning, she will be put under a general anesthesia with a nerve block, they will perform the radio frequency ablation and then she will get to go home late that day.

Today has been rough as K just doesn't seem to be getting pain relief anymore. Three time today K spent almost an hour just sobbing on the couch, complaining of pain and I wasn't able to give her anything. I think I will be asking the doctor for something stronger tomorrow for the next week, but I hate to do so because it will probably be a narcotic. Of course the most important thing is that she is comfortable so I may just need to accept the narcotic meds for the next week knowing relief will come soon.