Patients are out of F'in Control

Not in a time too long ago when people were sick they went to the doctor. Sometimes they would be sent to be treated in a hospital. While in the hospital, the medical team would treat that patients with proven methods, administer effective medicine and the patient would actively participate in their care with the intent on getting out of the hospital as soon as possible.

In today's world this is no longer. The medical team no longer seem to have any say in the plan. The patient has taken over control.

Today the patient comes to the hospital. Tell us what they 'know' is wrong with them and demand their choice of treatment, the drugs (amount & schedule) they want, tests they want run and all while being treated exactly the way in which they want to be treatment. And you know what...I am damn sick of it.

In nursing school we learned what things made people better. Get up out of bed, maintain a good airway by performing several breathing exercises an hour, limit the amount of any drug, but especially narcotics as their side effects usually hinder recovery. To prevent complications, some things that may not necessarily be pleasant, like a daily shot, might be necessary. You may need to force yourself out of bed the day after surgery even though it hurts. Follow a specific diet, because while it may not be want you want, it won't contain things that will make your disease worse. I went into nursing to help people. I will say, that I probably do help 75% of my patients. Patients who work with their medical team, participate in their care and seem to have a true interest in their health. The other 25% are slowly draining any desire I have to go to work. They are sucking every ounce of compassion that I have.

These other half seem to know everything. They come in with their plan and if you deviate from it, they cause holy hell. They can't be told differently. They demand narcotics around the clock because they hurt, yet you can barely wake them between doses. They refuse to walk in the halls because they hurt, but then claim we are doing something wrong because they are nauseous, their wounds aren't healing and pneumonia is starting to set in. They refuse their shots or compression stockings because they're uncomfortable but are the first to scream 'law suit' when they develop a blood clot in their legs.

These 25% of patients are whats ruining the state of health care in this country. They have cause doctors to lose their spines. We now practice was is called 'cover your ass' health care. Sprain your wrist...let's order an xray. Have the flu, lets run a CT just in case. Headache? Well lets get an MRI and maybe even a lumbar puncture. Doctors are now afraid of their patients. They are afraid of what patients will do if they miss something. So now everyone with simple complaint gets the full workup just in case they are the 0.001% that has something major.

As a result, what was a simple doctors visit is now costing us and our insurance companies thousands of dollars. And then we wonder why premiums are going up, people are becoming un-insurable, and there is so much health care corruption. If doctors could go back to being doctors, tell the patient what is wrong with them, order the STANDARD treatment, and not give in to unproven, or even sometime ludicrous requests, just because it's what the patient wants I think health care might actually have a chance.

I am all for patient rights. I think all patients should ask questions, be informed of what is going on and make choices on who their provider is, as well as the type of treatment they want - traditional, holistic, herbal etc. But when the patient starts to have more rights than the people treating them and as a result is actually receiving care we know is harmful to them, there is obviously something broken.

One Goal

One of my goals this year is for M to transition to sleeping without me. We have pretty much co-slept since day one and for the most part it worked wonderfully. Breastfeeding and a bedtime ritual was so much easier with him next to me but now that M is weaned - he stopped nursing around 22 months - I long for the days where not only do I get to sleep by myself, but nights were I have a few hours without a child clung to my body.

You see, M does not only like to sleep by my during the night, but it is virtually impossible for him to go down for the night unless my body is right next to his. This has caused a few problems.

One, I don't go to bed until around midnight. This means that this little ball of energy is also usually up until midnight. He stays strong, rarely falling asleep before I hit the sack. He can even be sitting in a dark room watching TV and stay awake just fine until I get there. Now, there is the huge payoff. He will sleep until 11-12 the next day. So, he gets his required 12h of sleep, just not when normal people do.

Two, because he is up when I am up, I don't get a break. I loved when the twins were little. I put them to bed at 7:30-8p and I had 2 or 3 hours of me time. No one to bug me. I could watch tv, play on the computer or post to my blog (M being awake all the time has also probably effected my posting numbers). I haven't had me time in a long time.

In an effort to get M on a better schedule I have put him down to bed at the same time as the twins - 8p, last night and tonight. Because I am trying to get the boys in the same room, and have been for a few months, I actually sleep in the same room as the kids. Now, I will also include at this time that K also sleeps in this room. This fall I redecorated the nursery into a beautiful new room for a little girl. It turned out great...but the child won't sleep in it. She wants to be with everyone else. So that makes three bedrooms upstairs with everyone sleeping in one room. Crazy huh?

Okay, back to M. So last night and tonight he has gone down at 8-ish. To my surprise he has gone to sleep right away. No fighting it. It has been great. Although...very deceptive. You see, M has now decided that his nap time is now from 8p to 11p. This means that now I have an even more active toddler up at midnight and still next to me for the remainder of the night.

I will keep trying. I know he will eventually get it. I probably need to control the time he wakes up a bit more too. For that I need to get into gear...because sadly after getting us all up and the twins to school, both M and I like to sleep until 11 or 12p. I know...horrible.

In the end, I guess this sleep training is for both of us. If I want to continue my mornings in bed than I guess I need to accept a night owl for a child.

Right now, I am off to do some work online. M...well he's now up after his refreshing nap and enjoying some great cartoons.

A New Year

So it's a new year. I could do this long, detailed post about how much I am going to change; all the great things I will accomplish; how I will emerge as a better, happier person by the end of 2012. But let's face it. It would all be bullshit. It would all likely fall apart within a few weeks...maybe even days. I do have several things I need to work on this year. They are similar goals from the past, but I hope to do better with them this time. Not because it's a new year, or because I am doing some grand makeover of myself, but because I am tired of some aspects of my life, and the only one who can change that is me.

As far as this blog goes, I will say this. I hope to be here more. I hope to post more. When I started this blog, I posted nearly every day. I shared thoughts, ideas, pictures, successes and failures. As time past, I started to wonder....does anyone care that I brought the children to the museum today?...does anyone care that I want to do 'xyx'?...are people tired that I am once again bitching about something, complaining about someone, or venting my world beliefs about some random subject?

Well...here's the thing. The answer to all the above may be 'no', but when I made this blog, it was to be a safe place for me to share. Whether that has a happy, sad, pissed off, angry, judgmental or any other type post this was where I was going to share it with the world. I have realized in the last few days that I miss this place. I don't have a spouse, boyfriend or other adult constant in my life that I can vent to. I don't have a partner to smile and laugh at all the crazy things my kids do. So here I am. Here is where I will come when I need to 'talk'. It doesn't matter who is out there to listen or care, but this is the place for me to get it all out, let go, release it from me so that I don't keep it quiet anymore.

That is all for tonight. I hope to be back tomorrow :0)

Christmas Morning!

Another Christmas is gone. Another great day with the kids. These holidays in the past were nice, but I really never enjoyed them until I had children in my life.
This year I was lucky enough to be off work. I was on-call which meant I could be called and I would have to deal with any issues that might come up, but at least I knoew I could be at home with the kiddos. My parents and sister came making a real family morning.

The kids enjoyed all their gifts. M was a real pro after just having his birthday. He didn't want to wake up at first...and in the end it was still M in my lap with every present opened, but his. He finally woke up enough to realize that there was a little mountain of unopened presents just for him...and we went to town.
After our Texas trip, I knew I wanted to get the family an iPad for Christmas. The twins LOVED it and I liked playing with it too. The plan was solidified a few weeks ago when I upgraded my phone to the iPhone and found how easy it was and how much fun it could be. Right up until a few days before the iPad purchase was for sure...well...then I started thinking. Since I got the iPhone, all three kids fought for it all the time. When I walked in the front door from work, the first thing they asked for was my phone. There was lots of fighting and lots of removing the phone completely from use. I began to see my future and thats when the plan changed. For Christmas, the twins each received an iPod Touch. It kind of stunk because that meant I wouldn't get to play with the iPad, but it illeviated the sharing issue. The only remaining problem, was that M felt very left out not having one of his own, and now my phone is always in his hands. And I must give Best Buy an special thank you for their sales which allow me to buy now...and pay later with a tax return without any addition fees :)

P*A*R*T*Y

Tonight was M's second birthday party. We had a great time. I was worried that people wouldn't come being so close to the holiday's but we had 17 kids there! I think everyone had a great time.
We did the Bubble Guppies theme, which is M's favorite TV show. I had someone make the cake decorations and we just color coordinated the plates and such because there is no 'commercial' items available...yet, I'm sure.
We even had an NFL player come to the party. Right now J is dating him and he came to play with the kids. The funniest part of that was the other parents reactions. Many of them were fans and made googly eyes at him, but no one would talk to him! It was too funny to see some grown men act that way.

A Baby is Two

How did that happen? I really feel like I just gave birth to him. I don't understand it, but I guess I need to accept it.

M is a toddler in every sense. He is high energy, risk taking, stubborn, feisty, independent and in charge of everything. He is more work than the twins were at that age. He is also funny, loving, empathetic and charming. He makes me laugh every day and can charm himself out of any situation. His speech is coming along very well. He was reevaluated a few weeks ago and he is actually on the low end of normal now.

We had his family birthday on his actual birthday - his party will be a few days later - but it was coincidentally on the same day as our twin club holiday party, which explains why they are still wearing those PJ's ;)

December Stuff

December around here is always busy. Of course Christmas always sends things into a tizzy, but now with the addition of a birthday party to plan, it's hard for my mind to settle down with one thought. I have found that in the last two years I have a hard time dealing with Christmas until M's birthday stuff is done. I need to get over that as once M's birthday is done, I only have a little over 2 weeks until Christmas.

Our first Christmas event was with the twin group. We had a great family holiday party. I was busy with kids, crafts, food and santa so I didn't need to worry about any weird or disconnected feelings I usually have with this group. The kids had a good time and even got to sit on Santa's lap. I don't have those pictures yet, as M fought Santa hard, so I had to help hold him down while a friend snapped a few shots. I look forward to seeing them.
The kids debuted their Christmas PJ's - and yes, my children are the only ones in PJ's but there is just something about a Santa picture with PJ's.
And just including this picture because, although blurry, shows K's beautiful blue eyes :)