I have been researching and looking more into different options regarding adoption. The more I look, the sadder I am. I am angry at how adoption has become a money driven business. I am angry at how many people have their hands in the pot and are trying to make money off the desperation of eager parents. I am angry, that as I look more and more into this world, the more clear it is, that adoption is becoming something that is only open to 'elite' parents. Women, men, couples who are able to pay crazy amounts of money so they may take home a child they so desperately want. It's not fair.
I am a lucky one. I want to adopt more than anything. I have always been driven to adopt. I have wanted to adopt most my life, and had my first adoption attempt worked, I may never has turned to pregnancy as a way to grow my family. But sadly, it is becoming more and more apparent that adoption is not something that is available to me. I am not wealthy, and cannot raise/save/earn enough money to pay for agencies, lawyers, birth mothers, other misc fees. I can give a child a good home with lots of love and support but that's not important. But even if adoption never works for me, I am still one of the lucky ones. I am able, and have conceived three great kids. That is much more than many other women can say.
I am angry and frustrated for myself, but more so for the couples who are infertile and cannot turn to adoption due to costs. It is horribly unfair that people who cannot get pregnant on their own, are also turned away from the possibility of adoption due to money. How is that right? How is it that we have allowed something as awesome as adoption turn into a cash cow for certain people. Why can lawyers charge many thousands of dollars to draw up contracts and paper work? Why can agencies charge huge fees just to find you a baby? Why can birth mothers ask for unreasonable financial assistance with the high risk of them changing their minds in the end?
There needs to be some major reform in adoption. We need to set maximum fees for agencies, lawyers and BM assistance. We need to change it so that couples from all walks of life, who can prove their ability to care for a child, can indeed get one. There should be no one who is kept from the joy, reward, love (and of course chaos) of parenting just because they can't afford it. Adoption just has to change....not for me...but for the childless couples who have no other alternatives
but if I benefit from it too, well that would be nice
Monday, January 31, 2011
What a Horrible Day!
As soon as I woke up Sunday morning I knew it was going to be a bad one. My head KILLED me and I could barely get up. I forced myself through it for awhile. Getting the kids their breakfast, getting them all dressed and ready for the day etc. I was able to push through until about 11am when I had to lay back down.
I took the kids up to M's room and laid down in the bed while they played. I was able to get M to nap for a little while and the twins were really good with just playing or watching TV. At 2p I got back up and made the kids some lunch, diapers changes etc. After that, back to my chair. I couldn't open my eyes the light hurt too much. I sat in that chair until the pain got so bad that I vomited. Another few hours of pain, then M and the twins to bed. Poor kids.
The twins did so well. They understood how much I hurt and did their best to help. After I vomited K brought me the phone and my mom was on the line. K had called her and said that I was sick and not feeling well. Too bad my mom doesn't live closer and could have spent some time here. Poor M of course couldn't understand. My head actually hurt so much sitting up to nurse him hurt, so he had bottles all day.
After the kids went down, I had a hot bath, which helped a little. Then laid down and went to bed. This morning I am soooooooo much better. My whole body aches, but my head is better. Good thing too. Since I was incapacitated the whole day yesterday, I have a lot of catching up to do.
I took the kids up to M's room and laid down in the bed while they played. I was able to get M to nap for a little while and the twins were really good with just playing or watching TV. At 2p I got back up and made the kids some lunch, diapers changes etc. After that, back to my chair. I couldn't open my eyes the light hurt too much. I sat in that chair until the pain got so bad that I vomited. Another few hours of pain, then M and the twins to bed. Poor kids.
The twins did so well. They understood how much I hurt and did their best to help. After I vomited K brought me the phone and my mom was on the line. K had called her and said that I was sick and not feeling well. Too bad my mom doesn't live closer and could have spent some time here. Poor M of course couldn't understand. My head actually hurt so much sitting up to nurse him hurt, so he had bottles all day.
After the kids went down, I had a hot bath, which helped a little. Then laid down and went to bed. This morning I am soooooooo much better. My whole body aches, but my head is better. Good thing too. Since I was incapacitated the whole day yesterday, I have a lot of catching up to do.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
A Nice Day
The weather here was actually quite nice today. We took advantage of that and went to the park. Here are some pictures :0)
Friday, January 28, 2011
Still in a Foul Mood
I wish I would feel better. I have been in a bad mood for over a week now. I am frustrated, stressed, bitchy and unhappy. I don't really know why. At first I blamed it on restarting my period. Then maybe the weather. Now...not sure.
Hopefully those around me haven't noticed too much...although I'm sure they have. I have so many friends with good news lately and I find I can't even be happy for them.
I'm sure it's related to my depression. Maybe I should restart my vitamen D supplements. I don't know. Gotta figure out something to get me out of this funk.
Hopefully those around me haven't noticed too much...although I'm sure they have. I have so many friends with good news lately and I find I can't even be happy for them.
I'm sure it's related to my depression. Maybe I should restart my vitamen D supplements. I don't know. Gotta figure out something to get me out of this funk.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Parent Teacher Conferences
Today I had to meet with both S and K's teacher's. I was hoping for good reports, and gladly, I was not disappointed.
K's teacher says she is a joy to have in the classroom. She is smart and caring. Although she can be shy at times, she has blossomed in the past few months and is an active participant in her classroom. She is able to express herself, share her feelings and emotions. Her physical skills are on target. Cognitively, she is doing great. She has a real desire to learn as well as an amazing memory.
K does need to continue to work on her writing skills. She is a little behind her peers, however, when she started school this September, she had never even made an attempt at writing words or her name. She now is able to identify all her letters and spell her name pretty well. Considering that, I am very happy at where she is.
S's report really impressed me. At home S is my more impulsive, hard to focus child. It's never been a HUGE issue, but I wondered how he did in a classroom. It seems he does great. His teacher mentioned how great he was. He can play independently and with others. He expresses himself well and gets along good with his friends. She says he doesn't need any direction in his stations and does well with picking up after himself. He stands up for himself, and friends. Physically and Cognitively he is right on target without deficits. He is still in speech, but his teacher states that he is really at the appropriate level, which isn't a big surprise since his Speech Teacher already stated she would graduate him from speech this summer.
S's needs revolve around his writing skills as well, but is more behind than K is. He doesn't seem to hold his pencil correctly and gets very discouraged and frustrated when he is asked to write. We will continue to work with S with his fine motor skills and try to get him for comfortable with writing. He is also scheduled to have an OT evaluation just in case there is more to the altered pencil grip. We will all continue to monitor this area.
Overall I am extremely happy and proud with these reports. The twins were never in a daycare setting and I always focused more on play rather than lessons. They have had no previous experience with an academic program and yet they are excelling and meeting almost all the expectations. In just 2 weeks we register for kindergarten. It sounds like everyone...except mommy...is ready.
K's teacher says she is a joy to have in the classroom. She is smart and caring. Although she can be shy at times, she has blossomed in the past few months and is an active participant in her classroom. She is able to express herself, share her feelings and emotions. Her physical skills are on target. Cognitively, she is doing great. She has a real desire to learn as well as an amazing memory.
K does need to continue to work on her writing skills. She is a little behind her peers, however, when she started school this September, she had never even made an attempt at writing words or her name. She now is able to identify all her letters and spell her name pretty well. Considering that, I am very happy at where she is.
S's report really impressed me. At home S is my more impulsive, hard to focus child. It's never been a HUGE issue, but I wondered how he did in a classroom. It seems he does great. His teacher mentioned how great he was. He can play independently and with others. He expresses himself well and gets along good with his friends. She says he doesn't need any direction in his stations and does well with picking up after himself. He stands up for himself, and friends. Physically and Cognitively he is right on target without deficits. He is still in speech, but his teacher states that he is really at the appropriate level, which isn't a big surprise since his Speech Teacher already stated she would graduate him from speech this summer.
S's needs revolve around his writing skills as well, but is more behind than K is. He doesn't seem to hold his pencil correctly and gets very discouraged and frustrated when he is asked to write. We will continue to work with S with his fine motor skills and try to get him for comfortable with writing. He is also scheduled to have an OT evaluation just in case there is more to the altered pencil grip. We will all continue to monitor this area.
Overall I am extremely happy and proud with these reports. The twins were never in a daycare setting and I always focused more on play rather than lessons. They have had no previous experience with an academic program and yet they are excelling and meeting almost all the expectations. In just 2 weeks we register for kindergarten. It sounds like everyone...except mommy...is ready.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
A Sudden Baby Boom!
Isn't funny how some times it seems that everyone around you is suddenly pregnant. It is true, that when you have frequent thoughts about expanding your own family, that you tend to notice these things more, but really in the last month there have been tons of surprises!
Two of them were announced today.
The first is an awesome surprise. J, my friend who lost her son last May, and then turned to adoption, is leaving today to go and pick up her new daughter. I am beside myself with happiness for her. Her journey has been chronicled in her Blog and I await her update and pictures soon! The family left today, including her three boys and hopefully they will meet the new family member - A GIRL! - tomorrow. I hope to be able to follow in her footsteps :0)
The other was a friend who has had a very difficult year. In early 2010 she lost her mom to breast cancer after a tough battle. Shortly afterward, she left her husband and took her daughter and tried to start new. They had been having a tough time in general and after over a year of infertility, the relationship finally broke. Well today while surfing FB I saw that she announced her pregnancy and I was shocked! After a quick catch up, I found that her and her husband had gone through a lot of tough counseling and that she moved back in with him in November. Surprisingly she quickly became pregnant...proof that stress can definitely effect your fertility. I hope her and her husband continue to repair their marriage and that this baby helps speed along the process.
Two of them were announced today.
The first is an awesome surprise. J, my friend who lost her son last May, and then turned to adoption, is leaving today to go and pick up her new daughter. I am beside myself with happiness for her. Her journey has been chronicled in her Blog and I await her update and pictures soon! The family left today, including her three boys and hopefully they will meet the new family member - A GIRL! - tomorrow. I hope to be able to follow in her footsteps :0)
The other was a friend who has had a very difficult year. In early 2010 she lost her mom to breast cancer after a tough battle. Shortly afterward, she left her husband and took her daughter and tried to start new. They had been having a tough time in general and after over a year of infertility, the relationship finally broke. Well today while surfing FB I saw that she announced her pregnancy and I was shocked! After a quick catch up, I found that her and her husband had gone through a lot of tough counseling and that she moved back in with him in November. Surprisingly she quickly became pregnant...proof that stress can definitely effect your fertility. I hope her and her husband continue to repair their marriage and that this baby helps speed along the process.
Early Birthday Celebration
Here are some pictures from S and K's early birthday. They had a good time at Grandma and Grandpa's. More toys to deal with - yeah!
And a final picture of the Mook enjoying his cupcake...yum!
And a final picture of the Mook enjoying his cupcake...yum!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
