May 1st. It marks one year since a good friend of mine lost her precious son. In some ways I can't believe that it's been one year. And then in others, so much has happened since then, how could it have only been a year?
In the last year my friend has made amazing strides. Of course in the beginning she, and her family went through shear hell. In the first few months we didn't see too much of her, understandably. When she did emerge, she emerged with a new strength, a new way of living, a new plan. Her and her family went on to make an adoption plan. They transversed the difficult journey of adoption - home studies, clearances, emotional highs and lows, and a few situations that fell through. In January of this year, that journey paid off when they received their gift of 'Joy'. a precious baby girl. J is now three months old, loved more than words can say and...I'm sure...spoiled rotten. What is even more amazing...gives me goosebumps when I think of it...based on J's birthdate, she was conceived most likely the very day my dear friend's son was lost. It seems like she was meant to be...meant to be with her chosen family.
Of course, even with J in their life, today is still bittersweet. Life changed drastically. Even in the end, with a beautiful baby girl in their arms, there is a baby boy who is missed. A baby boy who has not left my thoughts in this past year. A baby boy who should still be with us. While different, there is some similarity to my feelings in March of 2006. I sat on a couch in tears, mourning the one year anniversary of loosing my baby boy Zach, while at the same time soothing S and K who were only a few weeks old. I knew that had I not lost Zach, I would never have moved on. I would have never had the need to TTC. I would have never had the twins. And while in my head I knew that, I still sat on that day wishing that all three of my children were with me.
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