Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Could my little guy be teething already?

The last few days he just hasn't been himself. Sleepy at times, fussy at times, VERY clingy. He is always gnawing on his hands and is drooling a lot. It definitely seems like teething discomfort and I have been giving him some Tylenol occasionally but he just seems awful young.

For months people told me the twins were teething and I was always on the look out for teeth. Well they were late getting teeth at 9 or 10 months old. I guess that's why I'm leery to jump on the teething wagon this time.

Hopefully the answer will become apparent soon. Like I said I am giving him some pain meds and bought him a few teething toys including that cool vibrating one...which so far he likes :0) (It's funny...I have a ton of toys from the twins, but I must have gotten rid of those ones because they are nowhere to be found)

And just a little brag...despite my guy being a little off...two nights this week he has slept from 9:30-ish to 7:30!! I am totally on board with that!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


We went to the zoo today! It was a super beautiful day for March! In fact, I ended up pretty sun burned...and bad did K. It was just totally off my radar. We went with the twin group and had a good time. Five hours was spent walking all the trails and exhibits so mommy was VERY tired when we got home.

M did so well. He just sat in his stroller for the most part and watched everything go by, just fussing when he was hungry (which I am super proud because I was able to nurse him not only in public, but while walking!) All the moms with us kept commenting on what a great baby he is. He really is a good baby...I got very lucky :0)

Monday, March 29, 2010

Confession Time


I Hate Hair. I'm okay with hair that is attached to the body but as soon as it is totally wigs me out. I am freakishly grossed out by it. This goes back to childhood. I loved taking baths but once hair was loose in the tub I would freak. We kept a strainer by the tub that I could use every few minutes to clean the water. I haven't gotten any better with age. I can't clean out hair brushes. I would rather take sharp sticks to the eyes. So...either I buy a new hairbrush every few weeks, or my poor mother, who is aware of my issue, cleans them out when she is here.

So why do I let you in on my super weird partem hair loss. There is no scarier term to me. I loathe this phase. It is beyond gross and I feel like I am constantly on the verge. Why with all the things pregnancy does to us, does it also follow up with massive hair loss about 3 to 4 months post partem. What purpose does that serve?

I am always 'feeling' hair on me; I am constantly picking it off my clothes, the baby, anything around me; my bed, specifically my pillow is covered. ICK!

Hopefully there are others who can sympathize with me, or at least people who don't think I am certifiable because of this. I just hope I have the emotional strength to make it through this. I hope it passes quickly!!

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Yikes! Tonight has been a rough night. From about 5pm until 1am there were nothing but Tornado warnings for this area. None of the really bad spots came over top of us, but they came close. All in all they are saying 8 Tornadoes touched down. One hit right where the kids take gymnastics. A daycare right across the street was destroyed and one of their buses was thrown to the other side of the road, but from what I can gather the gym itself avoided physical damage but has lost all no gymnastics this week.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

How Could I Not Be Completely In Love?


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Don't Want to Forget the Other Two

Let me update you and the twins since this blog is a little M heavy :)

S is doing well. His speech has really been improving this last year with his therapy. I have applied to get him into Pre-Kindergarten this fall but I am not sure he has enough 'deficits' to get him into the program as it's pretty competitive. I am also hoping that if he gets in, K will also get a pass because I can't send one and not the other.

I got S's hair cut a few weeks ago. Now that I'm used to it, I like it but for a few days I did a double take every time I looked at him. He's still in gymnastics and doing pretty well. His biggest challenge right now is following the rules and listening to me when he needs to. I'm thinking this is pretty typical for a four year old so I will just try and stay consistent and hopefully have a better behaved child in the end.

K is also doing well. She is excelling at gymnastics and I have been told to enroll her in the advanced preschool class when we re-register this summer. K just seems to have a natural gymnasts body and she is definitely strong. As long as she is interested in continuing, I will continue to support her and keep up the lessons. I would love to see her excel in this area and see how far she can go.

K's biggest challenges are her attitude and her attitude. She is full of it and can be very sassy. My biggest challenge in dealing with said attitude is not to laugh at the stuff she comes up with. Her rationalizations are crazy...and very well thought out for her age. Just the other day when we were cleaning out some clothes she was growing out of, she looked at me very sternly and said "See this is why you don't tell me to eat fruits and vegetables. I don't want to grow big!"

Both S and K are loving M and seem to be getting more excited now that they can actually interact with him more. K is very grossed out my M's drool and spit up but enjoys talking and reading to him, while S loves to make M laugh and smile.

Although there are moments I'd like to find another home for them, I am truly blessed to have such great kids!

Monday, March 22, 2010

It's Starting to Get Fun!

M is no longer just a baby blob. It used to be that he would mostly sleep, eat and pee/poop with a little fussing in between there. Not anymore :o)

He is now a little person. He stays up for several hours at a stretch, loves to babble and, by far his favorite activity, watch his brother and sister create chaos around him. He is developing this sweet little personality. Still laid back, he loves to smile and laughs when his hands or belly are played with. He is on more of a schedule now and gives me between 6 to 8 hours of un-interrupted sleep at night (if only I would sleep during those hours). He is really becoming an absolute joy to be around. I love this stage as it doesn't seem like I am just giving, but getting a bunch in return. just work on his belief that if he is up, he should be held :-P

Sunday, March 21, 2010

A Few More

Here are a few more of M's 3 month pics. I am very happy with them and even happier that Jody will also be doing his 6 month pics.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

How Does Everyone Know my Business?

I am honest and upfront on how I created my family to those who I consider my friends, or close acquaintances, but I find it amazing that so many people who I barely talk to know my story...or at least think they do.

Today I had two such examples, both at work:

Dr M comes to me and says he hasn't seen me in forever and how am I doing. I tell him I was on maternity leave and he is shocked saying he didn't know I was pregnant - side bar - Do you know how many people had no idea I was pregnant?? I mean I know I'm a big girl, but you saw my belly would you not know?? Anyway, back to the original story. Dr M, a doctor who I very casually work with asks "Did you do it the same way?" I replied yes and the responded with "The same guy too?" All I can say is awkward.

Then later in the day C, a very rare co-worker asks about the baby and then asks me about the cost. I ask her the cost of what and she states that she is curious about how expensive IVF is and wonders what I thought about the procedure. Um...I have never had IVF. I explained that I conceived my children by myself in my own home...but I don't think she got it. Actually most people believe that I have had IVF. I guess with twins the first go round it's a natural assumption. In fact probably one of the most frequent question when I had the twins was "How many eggs did you put back?" Not many understand that my twins were a spontaneous freak of nature :)

Sunday, March 14, 2010

A Conversation With S

S - Mommy you need to be married
Me - Why?
S - Cause you don't want someone to see you not be married
Me - Everyone doesn't have to get married. Yaya (my sister) isn't married
S - Yah, she have a boyfriend and that means married

LOL...S's little social commentary :o)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Three Months

Just a pic...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010


First, thank you for all your kind words of support. It really means a lot.

I called the pediatrician today. Before I called I went over the bill again to see if there was any further info and discovered that his last name was spelled wrong. His last name had one 'T' and the bill had two 'T's. So within a few seconds the billing department looked and it was a completely different Zach, with a different birthday and it accidentally got filed under my Zach.

So I feel a little better knowing that probably what I thought happened to him, did. He was adopted, hopefully by a good family, and not with his birth parents. It still hurts a little because I guess all the emotions came back, but I'm definitely more at peace today.

You think after 5 years and 3 kids I wouldn't have reacted so emotionally.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Sneak Peek :)


A Wound Has Reopened...

Today when I got the mail I found a bill for a local pediatrician's office that my kids have never been to. I wondered what the heck was up and opened it, only to find that it was a bill for Zach. Yes, Zach, my first child who I had from birth to six months only to have the state totally screw me and take him to supposedly give to another adoptive couple.

Well this bill is for services rendered...12/12/2009!! So only a few months ago! My concern is that Zach was supposed to have been adopted by a couple on the coast...hours from here. Also, if he was adopted, at least his last name would be different. Why is his name the same and why all of a sudden is he back in town?

It breaks my heart because now the story that I tell myself to make me feel better...he was adopted by a good family on the most likely false. Now I worry that he was again yanked out of a good home and possibly taken back by his birth parents? I don't know but I find myself upset and worried over the child I lost almost exactly 5 years ago.

Of course I will call the doctors office tomorrow to let them know I am no longer responsible for his medical care, but I so wish I could get some info from them. You think you have mostly healed about something like this and then you find out just how much I love and miss him.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Pictures Today!

Today we went for M's three month pictures. One of my favorite local photographers did his pics, and while I haven't seen them yet, I think she got some real good ones! She was so patient with him and let us break for him to nurse and even took a 20-30 minute break allowing him a little power nap. I can't wait to get the CD!!

M is also doing very well with his transition to the crib. He has gone down between 9p-10p the last few nights and slept until the early morning. He still requires a little convincing to fall asleep, last night I stroked his head until he fell asleep, but once asleep he does very well and usually sleeps 6-ish hours straight!

Tomorrow we will spend the day at my parents new house and just lay low. I have a hell of a week coming up and I need to conserve as much energy as possible!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Finally Alone

I haven't mentioned this here, but my parents had been living with me.

As you may remember my dad came the week of Thanksgiving to help me with the twins and impending birth. My mom arrived the next week and the plan was for them to stay until Christmas. Well my dad, who was laid off work in November of 2008, ended up with a job interview and offer about 30 miles from here. So while my parents looked for and purchased a home, they stayed here with me. They just moved out this past Saturday.

If you had told me 4 months ago that my parents would be coming to stay with me for 3 months I would have freaked. My mom and I tend to not get along too well when we are together for too long, but honestly, it worked out really well.

My parents helped me with the kids in the morning so that I could sleep in with Max...sometimes until 10 or 11. I also had free babysitting at night which I took advantage of several times. I was able to have naps without worrying and if I wanted to have a hot bath...I had someone to hold the baby. It actually all worked out very well. Really the only problem we had was that N hates my mom...and my mom hates N so that got fun sometimes.

Now that they are gone I have mixed feelings. It's nice to have the house to myself again. I am trying to organize and clean. I am working on getting M into his own room and crib (see post below) I need to whip the kids back into shape and get back onto a routine. Of course the lack of adults here to watch the kids while I sleep in, do needed chores or have that oh so wonderful hot bath does stink...but I guess that's the reality of having three kids as a single mom.

My 12 Week Old is a Genius!


Since M is nearing the 3 month stage I am trying to move him into his room and crib (he had been sleeping in a pack in play in my room). He is now giving me a 6 hour stretch at night and since I went back to work last week I would like those 6 hours to be a well rested as possible. The problem...he is not liking the change and he is far too crafty for 12 weeks!

Last night I would hold/rock him until he was lightly asleep and then put him down. Within a few minutes he would be crying, but not the somethings wrong cry, but the I'm pissed cry. I go back to his crib and almost immediately I am met with huge, charming smiles. I tried putting my hands on his tummy or head until he falls asleep again, but with that he will grab onto my hand or fingers with a death grip so that he knows when I pull away to leave. When I hold or rock him, he grabs onto a pendant I always wear for the same result...he know when I put him down.

I really don't want to get into the habit of getting him asleep soundly before putting him down. 2 or 3 nights ago I gave in and brought him back into my bed just so that we could sleep. He fell asleep right away...and so did I. I know this is the worst thing because this is exactly what he wants. I am not against CIO but I think he is too young yet.

I hope after a few nights of this, he starts to get used to the new routine.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Cripes...More Cavities!

Today was our routine dental visit. Yet again, K's check up is fine with no problems and S has two more cavities. Poor Kid...he has his mommy's crappy teeth.

Despite S having sealants in all his back teeth, and having two cavities filled last time we had a routine visit, he had two more this time. These cavities were in a little harder to reach spot, so while the Dentist was able to do the last two without any pain medication of any kind, this time she had to give him lidocaine. S thought his face felt really weird and enjoyed the new feeling.

Enjoy the pic of S trying to smile with his half asleep face :-)

Monday, March 1, 2010

I am asking for your thoughts...

This past weekend something bad happened. It's not something I can talk about right now but it makes me real worried about the future. Times like this make being a parent very hard and leads to nothing but second guessing, anxiety and depression.

Just keep us in your thoughts while we work through this.

ETA - No one is hurt or sick. Just an event that could have a huge impact on us.

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