And It's Done as Quickly as it Started

Yep, J and Jo are no longer. I have to admit, I'm a little sad. J has really matured and made some good decisions since being with Jo. I, of course am worried that she will revert to the person she once was, but right now, I am trying to hold out hope that the change is a permanent one.

What happened you ask...who knows. While I liked the relationship, I really didn't know Jo all that well. I only met him once and everything else I knew was from what J shared. A few times I had a little red flag go up in my mind, but I thought is was more from my prejudices, than an actual issue. You see, Jo was extremely religious. And not that that in itself is bad, but it seemed like all interactions, conversations and decisions had to revolve around religion. It seemed at times like an obsession.

There were also inconsistancies. Jo would say 'this' was important only after doing something in direct conflict to it. He was often 'preachy' and critical of others who did not follow a similar path. Now again, none of these behaviors were 'bad' or problematic, just things that made me think.

The last week Jo was at a revival. Each night he called J to share his renewed faith and lessons he learned each day. He was very excited and energetic with his message. As the week went on my sister said he acted more and more 'weird'. Today's call came with the message that he needed to life his life for God. There was no longer room for anyone else. He was giving of his entire self to life his life as he thought God saw fit. J said he was so odd that she is actually worried that he might even leave football. From what she was saying it sounded like he had been
'brainwashed'

I know that statement is probably offensive to some, and while I don't want to offend people, that is truly what I think. Him and J had a good thing, but his thinking seems obsessive, manic, disorganized. I tend to think that in a few days/weeks he will come back to J and claim to have made a mistake. I don't know. Maybe not. J is upset, but she actually seems more concerned for him than angry. She was falling for him, so if he did come back, I'm not sure if she would risk this again, or walk away for good.

And, you might ask, what is my mother's thoughts on all this. Well she left for Mexico for three weeks this past weekend. She doesn't know. That's probably a good thing. Honestly, based on her erratic behavior, I have no idea what her reaction will be.

So...it's a shame it had to end. Keep your fingers crossed for me that J has really grown and learned the good lessons he did instill in her. He held her to a much higher standard that other boyfriends have and I think her self-esteem did benefit from it. I hope she matured enough to see this growth for herself and hold onto it.

A J Update

Any of my long time blog followers know I have a younger sister, J. She has lived with me off and on in the past. We've had some major blow ups and issues do to her immaturity, sense of entitlement and other personality problems. She has really tried to avoid growing up and taking responsibilty for herself. Her goal has really been to find a husband to take care of her.

She has been through her share of interesting men. A few years ago she met a pro athlete in a large town's nightclub. Since getting an 'in' she has dated several pro athletes. A basketball player from Texas; a football player from Minnesota; another football player from Pittsburgh; and now another football player (see a trend) from our state. This guy is actually the second guy from our state's team that she has dated. Yes, she seems like, and probably is, a groupie of some sort. Some of these guys were total assholes and most of these relationships were dysfunctional or very superficial.

Well, let's all hold our breath, because the current guy seems pretty good. They have been seeing each other since October and for the first time, someone is holding her accountable. He is encouraging her to get work, she had removed several of her piercings, removed all her revealing photos from FB and has even talked about getting some of those tattoos removed. She seems to want to be a better person with him, and he seems to want her to be a better person.

He could easily move her in with him and support him - his last signed contract was for 22million+ - but he doesn't. He says that unless they are engaged or married they can't live together. Instead of getting her a place to stay, he is trying to find her a job in the city in which he plays. He doesn't want some trophy, but rather a partner that is her own person, and so far I like that.

So, since October, J has kind of been living here too. She stays here a few days and then runs to Jo for a few days. She has been more mature and helpful this time. I've made it clear to her that I will not tolerate drama or childish behavior and so far so good. I think this is the longest we've gotten along, never mind her actually staying here. It's not been prefect of course, but I see a lot of growth and maturity in her that wasn't there before.

I hope this continues. Even in the relationship fails, I hope my sister gains enough maturity and self esteem so that she doesn't return to the childish games, the half naked photos and the jumping from guy to guy. For the first time in a long time I see some promise and potential in her.

And...just to leave you hanging...my next post will be about the BAZAAR behavior my mother has been exhibiting since J started dating Jo. At this point, I swear, if it doesn't quit, she will be the reason for the relationship failure.