Insanely Jealous

Okay, what's the deal? I know a handful of people who were pregnant at about the same time as me (with M). I think I can rattle off 5 or 6 of those people who have recently announced their pregnant again. Every time I read one of these announcements I get green with envy!!!

The silly thing is, I couldn't imagine being pregnant right now with as busy and with as much needs as M still has. He still breastfeeds, wakes at night, prefers to be carried everywhere. In many way he is still a baby. So while being pregnant right now would be impossible, I am still envious!

And...I will be back later for a better post once the Mook is in bed :0)

April 10th 2009

I can't believe I forgot this anniversary! I guess I was busy :-P This was the day I got my BFP with Max. Already over one year ago I knew the thing I had been wanting for over a year, and had been working hard to get was starting to grow within me. Only 39 weeks later I would be holding my perfect little M.

My, how much life changes in such a short period of time!

I Guess I Should Update...

With the fact that absolutely nothing has happened :(

I went for the membrane stripping on Thursday. Painful but not horrible. Felt crampy and a little sore that day...but nothing much. Before she even did the procedure I was 4cm dilated, 80% effaced, head was fully engaged and my membrane were bulging. My midwife felt like I would go into labor soon regardless of what she did. Well, here it is 3 days later and I'm still waiting.

I have gone shopping. I have taken EPO. I am doing everything I can imagine. This child needs to be born before I go crazy.

My next appointment is Thursday but I might try and call tomorrow and see if I can move it up to at least Wednesday.

Any suggestions?? I will try anything!!!

Last Belly Shot

Here it is. Hopefully there will be no further opportunities for another shot. I am hoping and wishing that this Thursday will be successful and that Max will make his arrival that day or soon after.

On a kind of positive note I have been super crampy today with lots of cervical pressure and pain with a dull back ache. These, I'm told are all good signs for impending labor. So...if I don't go on my own, at least I am hoping that my body will be ready and compliant for this Thursday!!

I should have my laptop with me, so if I have the energy, I will try to update here when he arrives. I'm really hoping that I won't need to post anything from now until his arrival.

37 Weeks

I have made it. Max can come any time now and be considered a full term infant...and I encourage him to do so.

I am so tired, sore and worn out. When it comes to this stage of pregnancy, I am a wimp. I am a horrible mother when it comes to pregnancy, but I think a pretty good one when the baby gets here :)

I am pretty sure today was my last day of work. I am too sore and tired to continue and honestly I'm of little value right now. As long as Max comes next week, I won't regret going out now.

I am holding on hope that Thursday will be end of this pregnancy and that I will have a little baby in my arms. I must just keep focusing on that.

Today's Appointment

Well, today was a mixed bag. No real news but maybe a plan?

My cervix, despite the pain and pressure, is the same. 2cm. Max's head has come down some more though, so that's good. She checked to see if I was leaking any amniotic fluid, based on some things lately, and I'm not. So that's good...I guess. I had another US. Max is still head down and well engaged but OMG...in 4 weeks he has put on over 2lbs! Neither I nor the midwife expected that. He is now approximately 7lbs 4oz.

I checked out fine. BP good, urine good, weight - actually lost 5lbs.

So our plan...my next appointment was made for next Thursday, December 3rd. If everything looks okay she will strip my membranes and be more active with trying to bring on labor. The concern is now that Max is growing quickly and I don't want a 10lbs baby!!

So, while I still hope that my three days of working on the unit this week will bring on labor, it looks like late next week may be the 'end'.

36 Weeks

The magical 36 weeks. I am finally there!

This past week has been another long week with uncertainty and waiting, but Max really was were he needed to be - inside growing :) I still have days with hours of contractions and anxiety over whether the 'big event' may be near. The waiting sucks but I know it won't last forever.

Thursday my work had a baby shower for me. It was very nice with co-workers floating in and out, yummy food and of course generous gifts. I think I have everything I need for the little man now all I need to do is unpack and organize it all. My thank you cards have finally shipped, so maybe those will come in before Max is born and I will have time to send them all out.

Today was a little extra uncomfortable. Whatever position Max is in, resulted in intense shooting pain down my belly and into my pelvis. OUCH! Hopefully he will decide to shift soon and give his poor mama a break.

This weekend will be fairly low key. Tomorrow I am going to a Holiday Bazaar and hoping to finish my shopping. Other than that...no plans! Then I think my dad will be coming this weekend and staying the week which will be VERY NICE. Doctors appointment, which includes an US on Monday and then our typical busy Tuesday.

One more week of living day to day....but the end is near.

Another Appointment Today

Pretty un-exciting.

My midwife chose not to check my cervix again since she just checked it last week. She said based on my history of walking around dilated for several weeks with the twins, one week wasn't going to make a huge difference. I don't disagree with her, but it would have been semi-nice to know where I stood.

My blood pressure and urine were fine. Platelets dropped again, but still aren't at any dangerous level (143) so I'm happy with that. Weight was actually down a pound or two.

My midwife thinks I will deliver between 37 and 38 weeks which is good for Max, and I guess I can put up with two more weeks of this. This week at work I am out of staffing which is great, but next week, being a holiday week, I am back on the floor which will be VERY difficult. Who knows, maybe this is what will put me into labor - I honestly wouldn't be surprised! After this Friday (36 weeks) I will be okay if he comes. I know 36 weeks is still early yet, but any major issues should be avoided by this mark.

If you go by some current theories of my friends, Max will be born on Thanksgiving since the twins were born on Valentines Day. This will put me just under 37 weeks. I'll take it!

35 Weeks

Everything is about the same. Contractions and cramping; crazy pressure and pain...but nothing worse and no more bleeding. Max is still very active as well.

Still hoping for at least one more week, although 2 would be better. I have another appointment on Tuesday so we shall see.

This weekend I hope to take care of my to-do list. Knock out most of my Christmas Shopping (I'm thinking mostly gift cards) and get the h0use cleaned. I believe J, my sister is going to help me with the latter. We'll see how much I can get done.

Gymnastics on Monday and Tuesday; Appointment Tuesday; Back to work Wednesday to Friday and I'll be 36 weeks before I know it!

An Interesting Day

Today has been a little nerve wracking. It has been spent pretty uncomfortably with constant cramping, frequent contractions and nausea. I feel bad and I cant help but feel like labor might be near (although I've never been in labor so I don't really have anything to base that on).

**And TMI Alert**
This evening when going to the bathroom, I found that I also had bright red, bloody discharge.

I would really like Max to stay put a little longer. I will be 35 weeks this Friday but that still makes me nervous. I would much rather he stick around until at least 36 weeks. The last thing I want is leaving a baby in the NICU when I go home.

Doctors Appointment

Today was a busy day.

We started out with maternity shots done by a local photographer. She does amazing work and I hope that some of these pics turn out, but with the way the twins acted, I'm not so sure. They were such butt heads - and that's putting it nicely. I should get a preview later this week and my full CD next week.

Then I had to run to work for an all day meeting, but arrived late due to said photo shoot. Spent the rest of the morning/afternoon discussing things I really had no interest in all the while wishing I could crawl into a bed somewhere and take a nap.

Next was a doctor's appointment. I had decided that I wasn't going to have her check my cervix because it was so early and why go through the trouble. Well when I mentioned that I had some (TMI warning) blood tinged discharge this am, she wanted to check. Well, low and behold I am 2cm dilated and 60% effaced. Great! I have so much shit to do and now most likely only 1 or 2 weeks to do it in. I emailed my boss and told her that I would appreciate a lighter assignment because although I would LOVE to be not pregnant, I would like Max to hang around at least another two weeks to avoid a NICU stay. And surprise, I am now on weekly doctor visits and have orders to take it easy.

I will say that with the twins I walked around for three weeks at 3cm and 80% effaced and never went into labor so I'm not hugely concerned that labor is imminent right now. Of course, with the twins I wasn't working and didn't have toddlers and everything else I have to keep up with, and I'm sure this can make a difference.

So, I will try to take it easy....except for the million things I need to get done, the appointments I must keep, the gymnastic classes, the speech therapy and the general day to day goings on. That's easy...right?

34 Weeks

Well the complaints are still the same, so I will skip those.

Max is still a moving and a shaking. He is now at the size that I think I know what body parts are poking me where and he is a very active little boy. His knees sit right about at my belly button and I often have these weird bulges on my belly in that area. Yesterday people at work were laughing because you could just see the waves of movement across my belly. I can honestly say, this will be the one and only thing I will miss about being pregnant.

I got an unexpected gift today when work called at 5:45am and said I wasn't needed to I could take the day off - YAH! Since my babysitter was paid for, I slept in until 10am and then ran around taking care of some errands that I wanted to do this weekend. I was able to finish getting all three kids their holiday outfits (now all I need are matching pj's), a birthday card for a party tomorrow, the last two Hallmark Ornaments I wanted and even some dirt cheap Halloween costumes for the kids to play dress up in. All that and I was even able to get back home in time to let the sitter go 2 hours early and lay down for a nap with the twins. (yes, I napped even though I slept in until 10am)

This weekend we have a birthday party and a brunch to attend. Next week will be pure HELL as I have a million things scheduled to do. This was partially intentional to get everything done as early in the month as possible so that I could rest for the rest of November, but I'm now thinking I wasn't too bright to do it.

I will probably try to update Monday as I have a doc's appointment and a maternity shoot that day...but with also a full day of work and a twins mom meeting that night...I'm making no guarantees :)

Hoping this is just a Fluke

The last 24 hours has been miserable. I woke up early this morning, around 4am, with intense abdominal pain. It lasted for about 2 hours. I almost called my midwife, but I knew it wasn't contractions and rather just pain and I must have fallen back asleep about 6am.

I woke up with the alarm at eight and realized I was once again in pain. Within the hour I was throwing up food I had the night before for dinner. Since then, I have not vomited again, nor have I had the intense pain, but my gosh, everything that goes into my mouth makes me nauseous. I haven't taken any meds because this feels more mechanical than hormonal. It feels like my stomach or intestines are so compressed that nothing is moving through.

Hoping this is just a short lived thing. I guess it really even could be a stomach virus. I am hoping for the first thing because if it is a virus, only a matter of time before the twins start with it.

Shower Today

Today I had my first shower. It was a lovely gathering of friends. Max got some great gifts. Some new outfits, diapers, toys and other essentials. A friend even gave me 4 hours to my favorite drop in childcare place for the twins. I also received the Space Saver Highchair I had wanted and some other great mom made gifts.

The food and company was great, but special mention needs to be given to the cake and cupcake tower. It was adorable! I cute cake with puppy and pacifier along with a bunch of cupcakes adorned with other baby items. Not only was it super cute, but tasted great! I will definitely keep this baker in mind for future events of mine :0)

K initially wanted to open all of Max's presents but the novelty quickly wore off. The twins did have fun though playing with a few other children who were there and adding to their earlier suger binge with more brownies and cake.

This shower has reminded me of all the things I need to get done in the next four weeks to ensure that we are all ready for his arrival. I think tonight before bed I'll start making my list and then work at crossing things off.

33 Weeks....A Total Bitch and Moan Post

Warning...the following post is full of pitiful whining and bitching...you've been warned.

Sleep - I am so friggin tired. I feel like I can't do this anymore. I get maybe 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night but of course not consecutively. I wake up constantly. I can't sleep in a bed...I can't sleep in the chair. On days I am home I compensate by lounging around the house all day and forcing the twins to take a nap. On days I work it's PURE HELL. I am always behind and exhausted at work and then I come home and I'm a zombie.

Work - I think there should be a law that women beyond 30 weeks of pregnancy shouldn't have to work. It's torture. I want to spend as much time as I can with Max after he born which means I have to force myself to work now. I spend my shift running up and down halls, tending to the sick and needy all the while being short of breath, fighting off painful contractions and disabling exudation. After tomorrow I have committed to 4 more weeks of work, one of those being out of staffing working on our units schedule. I just don't know if this body of mine will work for 4 more weeks.

Pain - My SPD is killing me. This impacts my sleep horribly. The saddest thing about SPD is the most painful activity is lying in bed. So even when I get the chance to sleep, it is accompanied but excruciating pain. Every time I move an inch I wake up in pain. I have been near tears just wishing that I could have one night were I can sleep without hurting. With the twins it was also horrible but didn't start until about 28 weeks. I have had this now since about 15 weeks of pregnancy and it just gets worse and worse. Sitting also hurts like hell so about the only thing I can do to stay pain free is stand. Well...I have no energy and I am beyond tired...so the standing isn't really a great solution either.

Okay. I needed to spew that out. I try not to complain too often. I have tried hard not to only bitch and moan with this blog...but I needed to do this. My midwife thinks I won't last until past 38 weeks. This is what is keeping me going. 4 more weeks of work...5 more weeks of this discomfort.

Some one tell me I can do this....

Good Appointment Today

I had my 32 week appointment this afternoon. Everything went well.

I had another US and Max looks great. His weight is up to 4lbs 10oz and he was moving like crazy! Of course he was facing my back again! so no great facial snapshots. He remains head down which is great.

My BP is good. I didn't gain any weight the last 2 weeks and my urine is clear. Still have swollen feet but it hasn't progressed any, or gotten any worse. I expressed some of my concern with bruising so my midwife drew another platelet count which actually came back a little higher. I guess I was just noticing things that maybe were there all along, I just wasn't paying attention.

I will have another 'check up' in two weeks and then a final US and full exam two weeks after that. My midwife says that at the 36 week mark we can finalize our plans...re-check platelets...and check my cervix to make an educated guess about when labor will occur. Since I started dilating and effacing at 32 weeks with the twins, she guesses I won't make it past 38 weeks...and that is fine by me :)

32 Weeks

I am posting my weekly update a day early because I doubt I will get the chance tomorrow.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the 8th month. I am so happy to be this far and although this pregnancy hasn't been near as horrible as my last one, I am more than happy to be nearing the end.

There isn't much to update. I will have my 32 week check up and US on Monday so hopefully I'll have some good updates and pictures. I am still a little worried about my platelet level, so hopefully she'll draw some labs as well.

Max is moving plenty and I think the little bugger turned back to feet down a day or two ago, however I am pretty sure he's back to head down. The twins are ready for their brother to be here, although I'm sure they don't have a real sense of what that really means.

Tomorrow I have day one of my required birthing class. I really don't want to take this, as I'm not sure how much it will really help, but I am required to take it if I want insurance to pay for my delivery. A good friend of mine will join me tomorrow night and all day Saturday, so at least I will have someone to talk to some.

31 Weeks

Doing okay.

Had another doctor's appointment yesterday. Blood pressure and urine are fine. Other than that, no real exam. My swelling is still present, but just in my lower legs and feet, so from what I understand, not a big deal. I will go for another US in just over a week.

Work has decided to make the H1N1 vaccine mandatory so I guess soon enough I will be getting the vax :( I was still undecided and I HATE like hell that someone else is making the decision for me, but what can I do. I can fight it, but I will probably lose. Time to just suck it up I guess.

My other worry is my low platelet count. I am a little worried because I have noticed that I bleed a little easier after my Copaxone shots and the other day I knocked my leg into S's bike and ended up with a hematoma and horrible bruise. These might be signs that my platelets are getting into the dangerous levels. I kinda forgot to tell my midwife yesterday, so I will tell her at the next appointment. I will be just over 32 weeks at that point, so she may decide to draw some more labs. I am really afraid that this platelet crap will end up causing me trouble and taking me out of work. I really don't want to be out of work until the baby is here. I do not want to go back any sooner than I have to, and I only have 12 weeks total.

Life is never easy huh? :)

30 Weeks

Yep...today I am 30 weeks pregnant. That means roughly 7-10 more weeks and I'll be holding my little guy in my arms.

Work is getting so hard. Each week is more difficult with feelings like I'm just not going to make it. Pregnant and fat just doesn't work with running up and down hallways and caring for every whim and desire for 5 to 6 sick people. As of right now, I am planning on working 7 more weeks, two of these being out of staffing working on the unit schedule. Keep me in your thoughts that I actually make it these next 7 weeks.

I am also starting to experience feelings of fear and worry. With the twins I was never nervous. I don't know why. I mean I knew how the birth process could be. Maybe they made me so darned miserable inside that I had no worries about how they were going to be leaving. This time I sometimes start to worry a little about this natural, vaginal birth I am asking for. Do I really know what I'm doing? Can I really do this? What happens when they pain is so bad I want to die, but it's too late for medications? You know...the usual stuff I imagine.

As far as after the babies birth, I really don't worry about adding the third to the mix. I figure the four of us will figure out how to navigate our new life. The twins will have a transition and there will be some challenges, but overall I believe will be okay. Although I will still be tired, I will love my new infant to pieces and take in every minute. But I do have one major worry here too....BREAST FEEDING! I was not successful at all with the twins. They didn't want to latch and I didn't have the patience to keep trying. About 10 days after their birth I gave up and went to pumping. I really want a good experience this time, with mostly breastfeeding (obviously bottle when I go back to work) for the first year at least. I did sign up for a breastfeeding class this go round, I have the number to a good lactation consultant and I am more determined to make it work this time. Hopefully these changes will make a difference this time.

So all in all I'm doing pretty normal. I do enjoy being pregnant more now, although I'm still ready to be done. Max is very active and keeps my belly moving for hours at a time. The twins are getting impatient and so is mommy. Hopefully not too long before we all get to meet this little guy.

Mostly Done

I am pretty much done with the nursery. I have a few things here and there but I am happy with where we are at. I am trying to sell or eBay several items that I have found when cleaning out the closets in the nursery. Since this is the twins old room, there are lots of their items still hanging around. I have found a ton of girls clothes with tags still attached. I will be working on getting those gone...maybe even get some spending money :)

The kids had a birthday party today. October is a busy month. Every Saturday we have a birthday party or Halloween party to attend. There are lots of appointments and other things too. I hope the business translates to a quick October and 4 more pregnancy weeks out of the way.

As of right now I am 8 weeks to term (37weeks) and 8 weeks sounds do-able. So that's what I keep telling myself. Just 8 more weeks! :)