Wednesday, December 31, 2008

12+ Hours in a Car with Toddler Twins...

Can you say painful?

Actually I have to admit it could have been much worse. Although my kids didn't sleep for more than maybe 2 hours, they were fairly well behaved and did co-operate for the most part. We watched movies, played with toys and snacked along the way. This was one of those times I was glad the twins are still in diapers.

We left on the 23rd of December, and stopped a few times along the way trying to be as leisurely as we could. We left home at 8:10am and got to our destination at 7:45pm. Ya know...before I had kids I used to make that drive in about 10 hours.

We got to Florida in just enough time to drop N off at my grandparents (her brother and SIL) and then head over to my aunt S with whom I was staying. My parents also went down, and they actually arrived several hours before we did. We met with them for a few minutes that first night too.

Here is a pic of S and K at the Florida Welcome Center.

I will post seperately each day we spent in Florida to help orgaize the trip better :)

Decmber 20th - The Big Event

On December 20th, we had our "Christmas Day". We were heading to Florida and I didn't have to room to lug all the presents with us, so we just moved the festivites up a few days.

It was a great day. A late lunch with BY's and then a night time present fest. I made a sad realization. My kids are beyond spoiled and I can't start buying for Christmas any sooner then November from now on. I realized that since I bought a little here and there, that little bit added up to a ton of crap! I spent way more than I should have, and the twins had way too much stuff. I actually took about half of it away and put it back in my closet for later in the year when they need some fresh toys.

K got her one and only request - a purple purse. The kid is such a girly-girl I can't stand it. They both got bikes, which were a big hit. S liked many of his toys but his favorites were probably his Pixter and Remote Helicopter.

I took over 200 pictures! So I am only including three below which get the main points across :)

When Did People Stop Being Greatful?

I feel like there is an epidemic of people feeling like they are entitled to what life has to offer. They are not grateful to what comes to them, because on some level, they believe they deserve it, and your job was to give it to them.

Family A that our Multiples group adopted was a mom with infant twins who were born early. She also had a teenage daughter with a 2yo son. We bought several hundred dollars worth of items for the children and arranged a drop off. Me and another mom dropped the items off and this woman didn't even feel it necessary to be there. Her teenage daughter took the items and barely commented or said thanks. The only real thing she asked was who was bringing the presents for her and her mom. WTF? A simple thank you would have satisfied me.

The second family, whom I had to drop off items to the next day, was a single mom with 4 children, the youngest two being twins. At first I didn't even want to meet her because she was so difficult to pin down a time and then after experiencing Family A's crap the day before, my spirit was kinda killed. Well, thank goodness I did go because she renewed my faith in people. She gave us a card saying thank you and even baked some cookies. It wasn't much, but at least it said she was grateful for the help.

If only more people could be like mom B.

Holiday Party with Multiples Group

On Saturday December 13th we had our annual Christmas party with the multiples group. The kids always have a blast at these events because there are 2 of every one of their friends. They all run around like chickens with their heads cut off and go crazy. Santa and his elf also makes an appearance (so yes, that's now three visits to Santa)

Below is the collection of gifts our group donated to two needy twin families this Christmas. We did a really nice job and I was super proud of our group.

Pictures With Santa

On Sunday December 7th we went to the mall to see Santa. Both the twins did really well until it was time to go. Then they both had fall out tantrums. After trying to understand the garbled speech of a 2 year olds sobs, I figured it out. They both thought they would be getting their desired gifts right then. Poor things. Luckily it passed quickly and I think they understood that Santa would be back later with their presents.

A few days later while we were in Walmart, we were told that Santa was there and pictures were free! Well we had to go visit. Both twins were a little confused with this Santa, but K soon warmed up to him. S wouldn't go near him.

Saturday December 6th

Today, the twins and I walked in our local Christmas Parade with our multiples group. We had a lot of fun despite freezing our butts off. Mr Potato Head followed right behind us. I think this freaked out K just a bit as she kept looking behind us.

The twins mostly stayed wrapped up in their stroller and blanket, but I think they enjoyed all the attention. They even aired it on television the next week. We are already planning on what we will do next year.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I haven't dropped off the face of the earth...

I have just been super busy. I will update this blog with all our December happenings during the week. Hopefully I haven't lost any readers in my slackness :)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Q is Okay

But has been through a lot.

Apparently her husband (who had moved out a few months ago) hid in the bushes at her home. When she got out of the car he grabbed her and held her at gun point. She was able to escape and ran to a friends home. I hate that there are people in the world like this.

He is in jail tonight, but the judge gave him $5000 bail, so he will probably be out soon. It drives me crazy that someone who threatened another person with death, could be released from jail for $5000 measly dollars.

This world is crazy!!

Monday, December 1, 2008

K's Role Model

Last year my sister J lived with me. She was very troublesome and just added to my stress (she was 17) and so early this year she was asked to leave. Since then we haven't spoken much but in the last few weeks, J has been around a bit. K really love J and seems to be very similar in personality.

I am not a girly-girl. I don't wear dresses, make up or carry a purse. My nails are never done and my hair gets pulled back in a simple ponytail. J is very girly. Make up, hair all done, fancy clothes. But she also has tattoos and piercings.

K carries a purse everywhere she goes. In fact she wants a purple purse from Santa for Christmas along with clothes and makeup - figure that out for a two year old. Anyway, yesterday she sees the piercing place and says she wants her ears pierced. I try to talk her out of it saying it will hurt and she insists. Yaya (J) has it. So she needs it. Well K was pretty set on it until I got serious about it and said she could pick out a pair but it would hurt. K turns to me and says "No ears pierced, get nails done" - OMG!

It only got worse when we got home and K walked up to me all serious and said "Mommy, nose pierced" , which J also has done. If I'm dealing with this at two, I am afraid of 13.

I Hate Being Worried

I love my babysitter Q. She is awesome and the kids love her. She is a very strong woman and an extremely hard worker. All day today I have been worried out of my mind for her.

Q works for me during the week, and actually works on the same nursing unit as I do on weekends. So this morning my boss calls me and asks if I have heard from Q. I say no and ask why. She was last heard of on Saturday night having a very loud argument with her husband when her phone went dead and she didn't come to work on Sunday or Monday. Obviously everyone at work was very worried.

To help understand why all our minds went to such a dark place, a little over 4 years ago, another co-worker, and good friend of mine, was murdered by her husband. She was also a strong, hard working woman and a great friend. She was killed on a Friday and found Sunday after not showing up to work. This is still a fresh wound in all our hearts and minds.

Now back to Q. After calling her with no answer twice I finally called one of her friends. This friend, T, said that Q was safe at that moment but that she was talking to people and couldn't talk. I assume and hope that she was talking to the police. I told T to tell Q that I would be more then happy to give her a place to stay if she needed and to tell Q to call me as soon as she could. This was about 3 hours ago and I still haven't heard anything.

Although I know she is safe, I have no idea what she has been through or how hurt she is. I am scared for her as well as her kids. I am also afraid that she will return to this evil person and open herself up again, as so many battered women do.

I cannot lose another friend like this...

Sunday, November 30, 2008


Just a little update....all the gumdrops on the house are gone. I found the twins in the kitchen and a empty roof. Both had the biggest smile too.

Poor Confused Kids

This morning I was able to motivate myself, despite it being cold and rainy, to get the kids dressed and out the door to go see Santa. We talked about it all morning, trying to coach the kids on what to tell Santa they wanted. K was going to ask for a purple purse and S a helicopter. They were semi-excited when they saw him, but I just kept reminding them what they were going to ask for. When it was their turn, both of them jumped into his arms, which kinda shocked me, and asked Santa for their presents. Then when it was time to go, they both broke down and started to sob. It took me a few seconds to realize they thought they were getting the presents right then. Poor kids.
I got a good picture of K, but S wouldn't cooperate with keeping his hands away from his face. Still a successful picture in my book:

Before we left I assembled our gingerbread house so that it would be ready to decorate. I told the twins that after nap we could make the house. We K got up from her nap early, snuck downstairs and got into the icing sugar. When I got downstairs I found a lightly powdered toddler with sugar everywhere. We proceeded to decorate the tree. I think half the decorations ended up in the twins rather then on the house, but I think overall they did a good job. Below K shows off her house. S is mad because he can't eat it. I am pretty sure one morning I will come downstairs to see them both nibbling away :)

And finally we decorated the tree. I think it looks better decorated and the big gap in the middle isn't near as noticeable.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

The Christmas Tree is Up!

The tree went up today. S was thrilled! He has been so excited about Christmas trees the last few weeks and now he finally has one of his own. K was not as thrilled and even fell asleep during the construction. We put lights and beads on, but we will wait until tomorrow to do the decorations.

The past few days I have been looking for another tree and couldn't quite figure out why, seeing as I had one sitting in my garage. Once I put it up, I remembered. The stupid thing looks like its missing a chunk in the middle. I have had it for 4 or 5 years and every year I say I need to toss it, and then never do. This year I will follow through!

Tomorrow is Christmas pictures with Santa at the mall, finishing the tree and putting together a gingerbread house. I am so trying to get into the spirit. Some moments I'm there, and then others I couldn't be farther away. Having the twins helps. Otherwise I probably wouldn't even put up decorations.

Friday, November 28, 2008

I Have A Talented Son

S has decided in the last few weeks that bedtime is absolutely the worst possible thing that can happen to a person. As soon as he gets wind that its coming, the sobbing starts and bargaining begins. Well, last week when he was sick, he was able to stay up with mommy until I went to bed - 12ish - and sleep with mommy. Well I think a light bulb went off in his head.

Now when I say "BEDTIME" S is able to make himself vomit almost immediately. He is not sick all day. He eats fine. No problems at all. But apparently the word bedtime causes my son to have extreme nausea to the point of vomiting. This is so much fun for me as you can imagine.

I hope he develops some new talents and leaves this one behind.

Do You Have Days Where You Hurt Your Children?

I mean like physically hurt them without meaning to? I swear I must have accidentally hurt K like 5 times today!! The worst two times were when we were out shopping. She was in her stroller when I wedged her leg between it and the door frame - Ouch!! That took about 5 minutes of consoling to calm down, but she was walking normally afterwards. Then fast forward only like 20 minutes when I went to get her out of the cart. I snagged her hair and a big clump was ripped out! I couldn't believe how much hair she lost. I can't imagine how much that hurt.

I will be surprised if she lets me near her tomorrow.

Black Friday

People are crazy. I just can't get excited about waking up at 3am and standing outside in the cold waiting for some store to open to MAYBE get the chance to buy something at a insanely low price. I just don't get it. While many of you were out shopping I was still sleeping. In fact while many of you were hitting your 5th or 6th store I was still in my cozy PJ's watching Noggin with the twins.

We woke up about 8am and stayed in our PJ's until about 11. We then got dressed and I went to a large craft show while the twins played at a drop-in child care center that they love. I was able to have lunch with a friend and them go home for a Thanksgiving leftover dinner. We then decided to brave the crowds which were considerably smaller than I'm sure they had been early in the morning, and despite my slack, late start, I was able to buy the one thing I thought looked good - 2 small children's bikes for S and K. They will freak when they see them :)

My thoughts and feelings about Black Friday were confirmed when I read that some poor Walmart employee was killed today by a stampede of crazy shoppers. And I thought wrestling over a Tickle-Me-Elmo was bad :(

Thursday, November 27, 2008

A Nice Thanksgiving

We had a nice day here. My parents came around 11am and cooked dinner. I had baked 2 pumpkin cheesecakes - both of which were yummy!! - but my mom did the majority of the cooking. All the food was great and everyone was pretty well behaved despite the twins being fairly whiny in the morning.

Of course we ate way too much. K and S both ate their weight in meat and come to think of it, other than liquids I think 99% of the solids they consumed were meat. I honestly think my kids would die if we ever became vegetarian.

This is a great kick off for the holiday season. I will do minimal shopping tomorrow, and put the Christmas tree us in the evening with the kids. S will be so excited because he LOVES trees right now. This weekend will be fairly low key because I cannot stand the crowds of Christmas and will avoid them whenever I can.

I hope all my blog readers also had a Happy Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 24, 2008

I Think S Wanted to Punish Me

Well after my grand day of twinless shopping S was being a grumpy butt. He was whining about everything and very uncooperative. Well by bedtime the reason became clear - he had a high fever and then started vomiting. So, all Saturday night I had a vomiting child in my bed. Again on Sunday I went to work with very little sleep (only 1 day after being up all night with K)

Thankfully he was better when he woke up and seemed to have recovered quickly. Now the clocks ticks away until K ends up sick...

A Mini Vacation for ME!

On Friday I was told that work didn't need me to work on Saturday. Well I was very happy, but had already confirmed with the babysitter and was now obligated to pay. I really would have liked not to pay her, but since I had to, I decided I would spend the day Christmas shopping ALL BY MYSELF!!!

It felt so weird running around town without twin toddlers following me everywhere. I kept expecting to have to get them in and out of car seats, but nope :) It was soooooo nice! I ran around to multiple stores buying most of the gifts I needed to. I went to a craft fair that was put on by my local mommy group. It was so funny. Everyone kept asking "where are the twins?" and several people said they didn't think they had ever seen me without them - that part is kinda sad.

It's funny because when I decided to do this, I thought what on earth am I going to do? Well, by the time I was supposed to be heading home I still hadn't gotten my grocery shopping done, or picked up my cribs at Babies R Us.

If I could afford it, I would do this much more often!!

Update on the "Situation"

Sorry. Things got very busy and I never came back.

Thursday night was horrible. K was up crying about every 30-40 min saying her bum or tummy hurt. This went on all night until I had to get up and go to work Friday morning. She was pitiful. She also refused to eat or drink. The babysitter was left with instructions to get as much Miralax in the child, but since she wasn't drinking, it was a hard task. That night K went through more Miralax and some enemas :( Finally just before bed K had a blow out. I was so relieved! It was almost at the point of bringing her to the ER. On Saturday she had three more HUGE poops. I think that kids lost 5lbs over 24 hours. Now we are under strict doctors orders to keep Miralax dosing twice a day for the next 3 months.

S never did have the blow out I was that was nice.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


Literally and Figuratively....

While typing the blog entry, S got a hold of the juice. It's now gone.

Lord help us!

"Mommy, Poo Dhurts"

This is what I hear every few weeks from K. The poor thing has the hardest time staying regular. In fact, I think she was barely a few weeks old before her first glycerin suppository. As a baby I tried everything to keep her regular. Nothing really worked until we went to Miralax. For awhile the child got a dose a day to keep from backing up. Well a few months ago she seemed to be better and I stopped using the laxative. Well the last few days she has seemed more uncomfortable, and bad mommy, but I didn't restart the Miralax on time. Now K is crying saying "poo dhurt" and terrified I will hurt her more. I asked her if I could give her 'poo medicine' (suppository or enema) and she just sobbed "No poo medicine!" So the poor thing is downing juice laced with Miralax in hopes that something will help.

I hate to see her hurt!!

In a weird way, S is the COMPLETE opposite. If that child doesn't have several poos a day, something is wrong. Just this week I counted five in one day! Now that was a little excessive, but the kid usually poops three times a day, everyday. So you can imagine the stress of giving K juice with Miralax and watching the cup like a hawk to make sure S doesn't get a hold of it :)

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

To My Blog Readers

I have noticed some hits from cities in which I don't know anyone :) This is kinda exciting to know that people have stumbled on to this little ole blog of mine :) I invite you guys to comment as you wish. I love that I have some 'readers'

A Cute S Story

Since I shared a cute K story yesterday I will share some cute tidbits about S.

S is such a charmer. He is so cuddly and such a mommy's boy. I love it. He has a smile that could melt your heart and to top it all off, really seems to have a great sense of humor. He can be stubborn and independent, but hey, what 2yo isn't.

S loves his Noggin. Every night while we wind down, we watch Noggin. S has figured out the line up. Dora, Diego, Backyardigans, Wonder Pets and then Wubbzy. Of course the twins are supposed to be in bed after Diego, but if I get busy doing stuff they can often extend it to later. Well I guess this has happened too much lately because S knows exactly what comes on next and can have a major melt down when I announce it's bedtime. While the twins watch their TV I am usually on the computer catching up on my day, working on some projects or doing one of a million things I have been assigned. S is also very used to this routine.

So often our bedtime routine goes something like this

Me "OK it's bedtime"
S "NO!! I wanna watch _____"
Me "It's already past your bedtime, it's time for bed"
S "No I wanna watch ______. Go sit puter" while saying this he is usually physically pushing me back to the computer and into the chair.

This description doesn't quite do it justice, but its awful cute. S's favorite show right now is Wubbzy and every so often he says "That's Kooky" just like on Wubbzy while flicking his fingers.

Gosh he is just too adorable :)

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

This Conversation Occurs About Every 45 Minutes

K "Mommy"
Me "Yes K-K"
K "Eight, Nine, Ten"

That's it. K then walks away and continues what she was doing. I just have to laugh and tell her she's crazy. She has the cutest little smile when she says it too. Like she is so proud that she has gotten the concept that she has to remind me every few minutes. She knows from one to ten, but apparently 8-9-10 are her favorite.

And since I'm on the topic of funny K things I figure I'll throw this one in. Last Monday and friend watched the twins while I went to a meeting. She has a son, M, who is about the same age. Well apparently at some point M got mad at K and threw a toy at her cheek leaving a small bruise. Well about two to three times a day K tells me her cheek hurts (which is total bull) and then goes on to say "M hurt me. Boo-boo cheek. M threw toy cheek" I don't think she will ever get over it. She may be telling this story well into college. In fact, I think she relayed this story to me within the past hour :)

Gosh she is cute sometimes

Monday, November 17, 2008

My Back is a Little Better

I am able to walk and move pretty well today. I still have a constant ache and some movement hurts but overall I am so much better then I was. I am working this week in the office so I think by the end of the week I should be pretty good. It will probably be a week or so until I'm 100% but at least right now it tolerable.

Keep Her in Your Thoughts


I just learned that an acquaintance of mine who was 37 weeks pregnant lost her baby boy last night. I can't even begin to imagine. My heart aches for her. Please keep L in your thoughts while she figures out how to cope through her loss.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Add Naproxen, Ibuprofen and Percocet....

To the list of drugs that don't take away this back pain. I have no idea what I'll do if this doesn't start getting better soon. There is only so much a girl can take!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Flexeril - Nope...Vicoden - Nope...


I went to the doctor today about my back. He believes I strained my erector muscle. He put me on Flexeril and Vicoden. I have taken both with no relief what so ever. So many people have told me how great Flexeril is!! It apparently does nothing for me. I am still barely mobile and have sat in my Lazy Boy recliner almost all afternoon. I think the thing that is doing the most benefit is the heat pack I have kept to my back all afternoon.
Tonight after the twins went to bed, I hobbled over to the Harris Teeter and purchased some naproxen and ibuprofen. I have more faith in these two drugs then I do the 'hard core' drugs the doc prescribed.
Tomorrow I plan on piling into the van and driving to my moms. There I can lay in bed all day and let her deal with the crazy two year olds.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I Have Never Been in so Much Pain

This morning when I bent over to pick something up, I threw out my back. I am in so much pain. I can barely move. I will be out of work tomorrow and will get into see a doctor to see what they can do to help. I sure hope they can do something because I can't take this too much longer.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Is There Anything More Stressful...

Than trying to get two 2-year olds to cooperate for Christmas Pictures. Holy Hell. What a freaking adventure. After today I wanted to drop the twins off somewhere and walk away.

For all my effort I got some okay pictures. I spent a lot of time trying to find some cute Christmas outfits and I didn't even get any cute pictures in them. In their other outfit - one which I got as hand me downs - I got a couple cute ones. The twins were miserable and despite bringing M&M's for bribery and promising a trip to the pets store, they didn't really smile. Then just to tick me off I guess, when I said "All Done" K started saying "Cheese" and really hamming it up - UGH. At least the photographer got one of her doing that.

I am convinced that 2 year olds are the reason Valium, Xanax and Ativan were made.

Here are some pics:

Monday, November 10, 2008

A Great Night

Tonight for my MOM group we just got together and played games. It was so nice to hang out with other adults and have fun! We played a few games of Scategories. Who knew it could be so much fun :)

Tomorrow we have Christmas photos. Hopefully I'll get some good ones and I can post. Of course K ended up with a bruise on her cheek tonight. Hopefully it will look okay in the morning. Just in case, I have some cover up :)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

I had fun :)

The convention itself was pretty lame. Not nearly as good as last year and there was some weird dynamic going on that I can't quite explain. But I was able to hang out with friends, laugh, dance a little and forget about my troubles. It was quite the expensive get-away with dinner and babysitting costing me $115 - YIKES! Overall I am glad I went and I had a good time.

I was very, very tired this morning so I spent most of it in my PJ's. After nap we all got dressed and headed to a Christmas Craft Fair that comes here every year. It is so neat to see all the cool holiday gift ideas. I love looking and although I can't afford a thing, it was a nice afternoon event. The twins even got to see Santa. I forgot my camera (bad mommy) but I had my camera phone.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Hopefully Tonight....

Will be a good time to take my mind off things.

Every year there is a Mom of Multiples convention in the state. It's this weekend. I really wanted to go the whole weekend, but my mom couldn't watch the kids, so I had to settle for just dinner tonight.

Yesterday I was depressed because my group was already there hanging out and having fun. Today I feel better and look forward to tonight. I wish I could be there with them now, but I have to focus on dinner.

I hope it goes well and I have some much needed fun!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Warning....the Following Post will Make me Sound Paranoid

This past week I have had two people that have turned on me out of the blue. To my knowledge I have done nothing. And in some cases another person has decided to make up lies about me. Since I have no one to sent to about these situations, I will spew them here.

Case #1
Today I went down to visit a friend at work. She seemed distant and then she said she was upset with me. See recently she had a big pay cut, she is dealing with an international adoption and is still recovering from two failed IVF's. She said her feelings were hurt by me because "Someone" told her that I was laughing and making fun of her pay cut. WHAT!? Why on friggin earth would I laugh at someone who is losing money, especially someone I considered my friend. Almost as hurtful was that she believed it. As a friend, I would have thought she would know me enough to know I wouldn't do that to her. I know I can be very opinionated at times, and I always stand by what I say, but never would I take pleasure in someone else's suffering.

It also drives me nuts that she won't tell me who said it. I think I have a right to know who is making up lies about me. I figure it has to be someone within our circle for her to believe it. It feels like there is someone at work who is trying to plot against me (hence the paranoia). A few months ago I make cupcakes for the department only to find out someone had told people not to eat them because I let my kids play in the batter!?

I really want to meet this 'someone'.

Case #2
There is a girl on my triadmommy site, C. She is known to be biploar and a little edgy. Before I became friends with her, she had two major run ins with moms she met off the site resulting in a huge war, some criminal charges and those moms leaving the site. I figured she had some bad luck with friends, however it's becoming more obvious that she played a much bigger role.

Well a few months ago she turned on me big time. She started making up this shit about me and complaining about me to leadership. It caught me completely off guard as I hadn't done anything to her. Well about 3 days after she did that, her husband ended up in the hospital and suddenly she needed me as a friend again. I decided then that I would keep my distance.

Skip to this week. Nothing has really happened, and suddenly she has turned on me again. She told another friend of ours all these lies. She sent all these emails to leadership that I had written her in the beginning of our friendship that complained about leadership (I guess she kept them for a rainy day??) She has gone behind my back and tried to get my moderator privileges revoked for the two forums I run. It's like she feeds off the drama and has tried to suck me into it.

I truly think she is trying to get me to go into war with her like the last two did. I'm not taking the bait. I am just sitting back and watching her fall apart, but knowing while she's doing it, she is taking my reputation down with it.

So as you can see, my friendships have sucked. People who I thought were my friends turning on me, and 'someone' going out of there way to make me look hateful. Gosh...I just feel all warm and fuzzy...

Feeling Lonely

I have heard people who have many friends say they feel alone. I know what they mean. I have a bunch of friends, but no 'best friend'. No friend who I can call in the middle of the night. No one who comes over to hang out. No one, who if I needed something I could always count on. It's depressing me. I had a really bad day today and all I could do was cry. I had no one to call, no one to go to. It just made me feel so alone.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Not Much Going On....

Besides the usual chaos. We went to the Children's Museum today, swimming and out to dinner. It felt like I never stopped from sun up to sun down, but I got a lot done! I was even able to return that crappy embroidery machine. I am so bummed that it didn't work. I will continue to think about what I want to do, and maybe next year with my tax return I will get a better one.

Another friend found the blog (Hi J!!) It's so funny that this was supposed to be this anonymous, no one will know blog and yet three people have found it. It just goes to show you that even in the vastness of the Internet, you can easily be found.

I am still working out daily. I actually feel really good about it. Hopefully I can do better with my eating, although I have cut out all binging episodes since starting, and I will see a scale change at my next doctors visit.

As far as TTC, I still plan on it. Weight is hopefully coming off. I am still charting but this month has been very screwy. I know last month I ovulated, but this month I am not so sure. My temps are everywhere and I never peaked on the monitor. I am starting to really think that I don't regularly ovulate. I kinda knew this from when I was TTC the twins. In May I didn't ovulate and then in June I did - ending in the pregnancy. I guess things haven't changed, but it worries me because I always assumed I ovulated twice in June because I didn't ovulate in May. If that is still the case, it worries me a little.

And lastly, I am starting to get all excited about the Holidays. I swear it was just another time of year before but now that I have the twins I get all giddy and excited. To see it through their eyes is so cool!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

This Says it All


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Who knew a Canadian would be so into the Election??


I am sitting her with my stomach in knots hoping that Obama wins this one. While I don't mind McCain too much, Sarah Palin scares the shit out of me! She does not need to be anywhere near the White House!!
So I will be up tonight waiting for the results with the rest of America hoping that the right decision is made. Here's to a new start and a fresh attempt to try an dig us out of this horribly deep hole America is in right now.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Here it is.....Finally


Diet Update

So far...not too bad. I have had a few rough patches with Halloween and N's birthday, but I have been real good with my exercise. I have been to the Y most days this past week. I am feeling better about myself so hopefully the exercise and meds are starting to work :)

I was weighed at the doctors office on October 27th. I have another appointment on November 24th. I will not weigh myself again until then. I don't need the discouragement right now.

Tomorrow I will be back at the Y, and I hope to increase my workout and my time there. Luckily I have a workout buddy with the same goals and same weight loss needs. It is SOOO much easier that way :)

Sunday, November 2, 2008

A Busy Weekend

Wow, the weekend has flown by. I meant to post on Friday, but after putting the kids down for bed, I laid down just for a minute only to wake up 10 hours later. I don't think I've gotten that much sleep in months!

Then Saturday was spent cleaning, working out at the Y, grocery shopping and general life stuff. Today was N's birthday so we celebrated here and then went out to dinner. My parents came over and spent the day. It all went very nicely and although it went by fast, we had a good weekend.

Now onto the next week :)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Crazy Stuff

So this morning I woke up with a sore throat. That progressed into full body aches and a slight fever. I hate being sick.

While at work my mom sent me two emails. One to tell me she fell off a ladder and the other to show me the pics...except one thing, I didn't get the email telling me she fell and only got these pictures:

Of course I was freaked out trying to figure out what the hell happened. I had to take a break and call her. Needless to say I wasn't pleased with the email snafu, but at least a little relieved with how she hurt herself - not attacked or something like that. She is very sore, obviously, but she should be fine. Nothing is broken, but of course she isn't very mobile.
Also just to add, when I came home today, all four of my fish were suddenly dead :( Nothing seemed to be wrong. Since I have had so much trouble, this is the end of the fish.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Today Sucked

I only got three and a half hours of sleep. I woke up in a bad mood and I couldn't do anything to fix it.

The friend who pissed me off about the Christmas pictures came up to me at the beginning of work and said..."Is next Monday okay for the picture" like I haven't made it clear to her that I was ticked about the whole photo delay to begin with, but sure, let's delay it until next week.

Today will end and hopefully tomorrow will bring at least some break in the clouds.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

So Much For Taking That Leap

A month later and I still can't get this machine to work properly. I have joined support groups and education forums with no luck. I have spent about $50 on additional needles and stabilizers with no luck. I still haven't turned out a product that is worth anything.

I went to a Singer store today to get some help. Can you imagine my surprise when I was told that this Singer Store no longer carried Singer because the quality was so poor and the machines were pieces of shit. Wow. A Singer Store that refuses to carry Singer products. I guess that says it all.

I emailed Singer's customer service today. I hope I hear from them soon. If I can get someone to take this crappy machine off my hands I'm not even sure if I want to keep trying. I will have to think about it I guess. With my depression out of control right now, this failure is not what I needed.

I'll keep you updated.

Diet Attempt #1,000,239...

Okay, so yesterday I started a new diet. I need to get my binge eating under control. I am disgusted to say that I have regained a substantial part of the 90 pounds I lost last year - SHIT.

So far I have been very good with my food intake and have exercised both days. I even went to the gym today. Wish me luck. This has to be the most horrible time to start a diet - the holiday season!! I have a goal in mind and have to reach it before I TTC so I guess that's the best motivation I could hope for.

Monday, October 27, 2008

This Economy Sucks

I consider myself pretty lucky with everything that's been going on. I am years from retirement so I can wait out the stock market disaster. I have a regular mortgage with no balloon payments. And I'm a nurse which means I have no fear of layoffs or salary cuts. In fact, in the next few weeks I will hear what my pay raise will be next January. So far I have been lucky.

Well that sort of changed yesterday. My mom told me that my dad found out that this Friday his company will just shut down. He found out by accident, but the company's plan was just to act normal until Friday and then tell people 'bye'. How crappy is that? Well my dad has been grandfathered into his position which means his experience has gotten him to where he is, and he doesn't have the education necessary to move to another company and keep the same position or salary. My parents have gone from living well - 2 homes, 3 cars, boats, semi annual trips to Mexico - to now not knowing how they will make it. My dad brought home a six figure salary and now the positions he is looking at is less then half that. To make it worse, the only positions he is able to find are far from here. So when and if my dad gets a job, my parents will most likely be moving out of state.

This is difficult for me in many ways. I moved here to be close to my family. Since then all my siblings have moved away and now it looks like my parents will too. I don't depend on my family much, maybe every few months for something but it makes me wonder what I will do in the future. The biggest help my parents were was during the holidays. Since I work in a hospital I have to work days like Christmas...well who watches other peoples kids on Christmas??

I'm sure I will be fine. I will work something out. But I also feel for my kids. I grew up in Canada while my grandparents lived in Florida. I never really had a close relationship with them and now I guess my kids will experience the same thing. But to be honest, my parents now live just a little over an hour away and we only see them now every few months, so I guess things really won't change that much.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Trunk or Treat #2

Today was our second TorT. This afternoon we joined our MOM group for some Halloween fun. We started with the TorT and then went inside for some juice and crafts. There were 10 twin families there and all the kids were so cute!! We had a great time!!
K fixing her shoe
S, K and W
Group pic #1

Group pic #2

Daddy Confusion...

I have a good friend who is a fill-in for me when my regular babysitter can't watch the twins. She also has twins who are 6 months older than S & K so we also spend a lot of our leisure time doing things with them. This usually includes her husband who is a very involved dad and works third shift - so he's usually around during play dates and outings.

Here's the thing....S has decided to call this man "Daddy". He does it all the time. In fact today when we met, S went running when Cedrick got there and said "Mommy it's my Daddy!!" Cedrick is a great role model for him and I love the fact that S feels connected to him, but I don't want him calling him Daddy. Anytime he does this I correct him and tell him, no his name is Cedrick but then S gets upset and insists he is Daddy.

Now I don't think S is doing it because he truly thinks Cedrick is his dad but rather because that's what his 2 friends call him. Cedrick has been good about it and doesn't mind, but also tries to correct him. I guess part of me worries that people think that my poor child has to find other men to be their daddy because of the choice I made.

Who knows what I should do? I will continue to try and correct S, but when I do it to the point of making S upset, I feel like I am making it worse.

And just to add some comic relief to the mix, this man is black which kind of makes it funny to see my sheet white child run around the playground yelling Daddy at him

I Guess I'm Just Weird

A post on another SMBC site got me thinking. She had posted on how she is still wishing that she could find Mr Right. It makes me realize more and more that I am a weird one. I don't want that and I don't see myself changing.

I like being alone. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom and will surround myself with them as long as I can, but the thought of being alone when they are grown doesn't scare me at all. In fact, I kinda look forward to it. Even now I sometimes can't wait for 8pm when the twins go down for the night and I can do whatever I want.

Before the twins were born I loved it when I didn't have anything to do. I worked a lot more hours than I do now, but when I was at home I loved just staying in my PJ's all day long and lounging around the house. I could spend the whole weekend never leaving the house or talking to a single person and that was just fine by me. I was pretty introverted but I liked it that way. Since having the twins, I have forced myself to become more of an extrovert, constantly going to events and play dates, which right now I love, but a part of me can't wait to go back to the old me.

I think I baffle the people around me. My mom can't understand why anyone would want to be alone. Friends always say "your young, you will find a husband" and other SMBC look forward to getting into the dating scene. I am just not like that. To me, being a SMBC was plan A. It wasn't "if I can't find Mr Right" it was "I don't want Mr Right".

So for the next 18+ years I will enjoy being around my kids. I will love going to play dates, field trips, parties and sports events. I will continue to lead the chaotic lifestyle of a parent. But when the time comes when my children leave home, I will also enjoy the quiet and solitude.

I guess I'm just weird.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Trunk or Treat #1

Tonight we had our first Trunk or Treat with our local mommies group. We got really lucky because it rained all morning, but by the afternoon the weather was clear and the temperature was mild.

The kids at first weren't too excited about it, but once they found out what it was all about, they had a great time. S and K ran from car to car collecting all sorts of yummy goodies. K was good about keeping her treats in the bag, but S had to munch along the way.
K in front of my decorated Trunk.
K and S with their Loot.

Going from Trunk to Trunk

S and K eating some of their treats

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I Need to Change Things....

Maybe it's because I am depressed. Maybe it's because I'm stressed. Maybe it's because N shit all over my car and house tonight and didn't feel the need to tell me about it. I need to get my life in order to where I don't need her here.

Right now I am dependant on the income she provides me. That needs to change. I need to sell my house and downsize. I need to get back into full time work. I need to trim some of the 'fat' off my monthly bills. I need to do something. I just don't think I can do it much longer.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

I'm Going to Explode!!!!

So I just called S again. "When are you coming to get the pics done?" I ask. Her response...some time next week - WHAT?! She is busy tonight and leaving town first thing tomorrow. She will be back next Monday. I am so ticked right now. Again, totally taken advantage of and not valued in any way.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Ugh...People are Pissing me Off

What's new...right?

You know those Christmas pics I am trying to take? Well two of the moms are really getting on my nerves. The pic day was Friday. Well a few people couldn't make it...that's fine. But make arrangements with me on when you can come. One of the moms S couldn't come Friday because she was busy with family stuff. Well come to find out it was cancelled and she took the kids to Toys R Us....WHAT!? You could have come and didn't? Then I asked her to come Sunday and she said they would probably be busy....well what the hell....I mean I'm just sitting here in my house doing nothing. Then I tried to call her today and she never called me back. Now this is a friend of mine and she's totally driving me crazy! I feel like telling her never mind, the child doesn't need to be in the pic, but that would punish more then just her.

I just feel like I am always doing all these things for people and I'm just being taken for granted.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Halloween Preview


Not bad considering neither one of them wanted their picture taken.

Pumpkin Carving


The kids had a good time with the pumpkins. S helped scoop out the insides and watched me as I carved out the face. K put her hand in the pumpkin and said "yucky" and went back to the living room to watch TV - so K!! She did like to watch the carving though and posed nicely with the pumpkin when it was done.

We made a huge mess but had a lot of fun. One pumpkin more to go :)

Saturday, October 18, 2008

A Busy 24 hours

Way back when, when I was pregnant, I had some company. In fact, I have 9 other moms who were also pregnant at that time. Within a 7 month period 11 babies were born. Two of the moms moved away, but 8 of us are still around. Since then, every Christmas we have gotten together and taken a group picture of our babies. Last night we started that process.

Due to the difficulty finding a time where 8 moms can all get together, and then trying to get the cooperation of multiple babies/toddlers, I have always taken the pictures and then copy and pasted them into one picture. I will look for the past 2 years and post them when I find them. Anyway, last night several of the kids came and pictures were taken. Today we had another one come and I think two more will come tomorrow. I can't wait to see the finished product.

This morning the kids had a birthday party at Chuckie Cheese. They loved it although I found it way too overwhelming! Way too many kids. We left early as I could feel my nerves were frazzled. We then ran home to pick up N and then go to another Birthday party. The second one though was for an organization we belong to. There was a lot of food and fun! It was outside and it was cold but the kids didn't seem to mind.

Tomorrow will be pumpkin carving!! I will take some pictures and post :)

Friday, October 17, 2008


I got these in email today and I thought I would share :) They were labelled "Last Day of Work"

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