Day 30

A Picture

This is like the 3rd or 4th request for a picture and I am having a rough time figuring out how to not post the same thing over and over. Well since this is my last post, I have run out of the energy to find that original, unique photo so I will leave you with this

Day 29

Three Wishes

1. That my children will be happy, successful and always know that they are loved.
2. That my health will remain stable until my children are grown. I do not want to be a burden to them.
3. That my financial plan plays out the way I expect and that I get control over my weight so that I can in the next few years be able to have a fourth child.

I know that last one has a few within it, but they are all related :0P

Day 28

What Stresses You Out

Yep. Big Surprise. I am working very hard to change this. I am confident that as long as I am not faced with any road blocks, I will have this 'under control' in a year or two. I fantasize about life without debt. I can't wait. Now, I will still have to be very careful and of course will still have other stresses like three children, N, work, life in general, but I am confident that without the constant concern related to money, I will be much more relaxed and content :0)

Day 27

Pets

Currently there is one pet in the house. Madilyn, or Maddy, is a white Mutt I got from the pound almost 11 years ago. The thought is she is a Brittany Spaniel, English Setter Mix. She is about 50 pounds and has the longest, white, pain in the butt hair. When I first purchased her, she was my child. She was spoiled rotten. She saw Santa and the Easter Bunny each year; received 3 to 4 packages in the mail each month; was the star of my Christmas cards and photographic hobby. She was pretty much another human in the house.


I feel bad for Maddy as now I sometimes question whether or not she has been fed each day. Sadly with the time and energy committments of three kids, Maddy is at the bottom of the totem pole for me. I have already decided that when she goes, we will be a pet free home. I am happy though that S has really bonded with her. He loves her a lot and talks about her often. I have told S that Maddy is his dog now and he does pretty well with the responsibility, considering he is 5.

In the past I have had two other dogs. I had a black lab for a few years named Connor. She was a sweet dog who was dumb as dirt. Sadly when I became pregnant with the twins I could barely care for myself and since Connor was fairly new to the family, she was given to a friend. Also, when I was a teen I had a dog named Zach (see, I have loved the name for years :) ) He was a Cocker Spaniel Mix. I had him about one year. When we moved into a new home my mom wouldn't allow him in the house - he wasn't house trained - and he couldn't be an outside dog.

Day 26

A Picture of Your Family

Taken just a few days ago on Easter Sunday :0)

Day 25

Your Favorite Memory

I have two...

The first time I held S & K. A few hours after birth.
And M's birth. Here he is a few hours old.

Day 24

Something You've Learned

I have learned a lot of things in the past 31 years. Heck, I truly believe that I learn something new everyday. There are a few life lessons I have learned along the way, and most of them were learned the hard way.

Never Get Comfortable - it seems like every time I get 'comfortable' in life, I am thrown a curve ball. Financial instability, illness, the loss of Zach, they all came at times in my life were I was relaxed, feeling content with the idea that I was in control. I obviously wasn't. Unfortunately, I haven't felt 'comfortable' in a long time, and even then, when I am starting to make headway in certain areas something unexpected comes my way to push me back.

People Don't Change - I know a lot of people argue with me on this one. In my life, no one has changed. They may put on a front for awhile, but eventually their true self shines through again. This is what has caused me to shut people out of my life. I don't believe they will ever change into people I want in my life, so why waste the energy on them.

The Only Person I can Truly Rely on is Me - Everything I have in life, all my accomplishments, times of joy, material things I have earned on my own. Nothing has ever been given to me. I was not born with a silver spoon. And while some may see this lesson as a negative one I don't. I am a stubborn, independent person and I take care of my own. I wouldn't have it any other way. I do not want to be 'cared for'. I like being my own person and I think it has given me incredible strength and resilience.

You Get From Things What You Put Into Them - I spend the greatest amount of energy, emotion and time on my children and as a result I get the greatest amount of joy, accomplishment and happiness from them. I also put in a great deal of effort into my job, and while it is tough, I do enjoy my work. Many of the things in my life which bring me negativity and stress are things that I tend to neglect or see poorly to begin with. This is a lesson in which I continue to learn, and one I still have a lot of work on.

Day 23

Favorite Trip

Well, like I said below, I'm not really a traveler. I have never been anywhere exotic of foreign. I could only dream of one day flying to Australia or Europe. Anywhere that I have traveled to this point in my life has been to visit with family.

But if I had to chose a favorite trip, I think I would chose the short Beach trip I took with the kids last summer. It was only for the weekend and we only drove for a few hours but it was nice. I loved that it was the first time I went anywhere special with just me and the kids. Max was a great age - 5 months - and the twins behaved really well. We met up with a friend while there and visited the aquarium. It was just nice. Laid back. No pressure. Not too expensive. The kids got to experience a night in a hotel - which they thought was great - and a trip to the beach. If we weren't already planning a weekend in the mountains and the Texas trip, it would have been a trip that I would have tried to repeat this year.

Day 22

Favorite City

This is a very random subject and one I don't really have an answer for. I'm not really a traveler. I stick pretty close to home, and while I have a list of cities I would like to visit, if I do travel, it to an area with people I know. So here are the cities I would visit if I could...

• Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. This is the area in which I was born and grew up. I still have friends and some family in the area. I used to travel to Ottawa once per year to renew my VISA but this is an off year. I probably won't go again until Spring of 2013. Most of my friends in the area have met the twins, but not Max.
  
• Stuart, Florida. This is where all my mom's family lives. I have grandparents and 2 aunts along with multiple cousins. I would love to go and visit again soon, but I don't think that will happen until Winter of 2012. Many of my family has come here and met Max, but there are still a handful there who have not yet seen him in person.
• Katy, Texas. This is where a good friend of mine lives and where I will be visiting this summer. I have never been to TX, in fact I don't think I have been further West than West Virginia maybe?? I am looking forward to this trip as are the kids.
  

Day 21

A Picture of Yourself

Didn't we just do this? I had to include a picture on day #1 with my intro. I hate pics of myself. I am rarely infront of the camera and then when I concede I am never happy with the results. Since then kids I have made an effort to have a family portrait taken every year. I was doing pretty well the first couple of years, but I have definitely fallen off the wagon since M was born. My plan is to have family pics at Christmas, and this time at least one including myself.

Here are two pictures. One I like. Yes, I am WAY younger but more importantly I am not overweight and I am healthy. I want to be that again!

And one now....eh

Day 20

Nicknames

I really don't have any cool nicknames. I am often called James by friends, but that is as 'different' as it gets. When I was a child my mom's first husband called me 'Loco' which is 'crazy' in Spanish. Since I hate everything about him it's not a nickname I look at with fondness.

Day 19

Something You Miss

No Brainer...

Day 18

Something I Regret

This is hard. I don't really think I regret anything. There is no big event in my life that I wish I could do over again. I certainly wish there were things that I didn't experience, but they were not the result of my decision. I guess you could say I regret things like letting myself get this overweight or allowing myself to spend too much money and not having a better financial cushion. But there is no regret with my family, my kids, career or any other major choice I have made in my life. I think overall I have made some pretty good choices when it comes to the important things in life.

Day 17

Something You're Looking Forward To

Right now the thing I am looking forward to most is my vacation to Texas. I am looking forward to the break from work and N. I am looking forward to seeing my friend again. And I am looking forward to seeing the twins squared together again.

I am not however looking forward to flying with three kids by myself - I am terrified of flying - and I am not looking forward to Texas in August.

Day 16

Your Dream Home

While my house maybe nothing fancy, overly large or perfect in all ways, it's my home and I love it. I have often said that if I won the lottery tomorrow, I wouldn't move. I would fix up many things here that I want to do now but can't afford, but I would stay. I like it here and I don't want to move if I don't have to.

So, with that lottery money I would pave the driveway (I still have such a hard time with the gravel) I would replace all the floors (kids and dogs have been rough) I would fully fence in the backyard, have some landscaping done and build a nice big shed that would double as a playhouse. And then of course....a maid and gardener to help keel it all up :0)

A picture of my home during a pretty snow fall...

Day 15

Bible verse

Well. This one isn't very applicable to me. There are many verses in the bible in which I can support and fully agree with, but I do not know any of them. So I will leave you with 2 quotes. One, a quote that I heard when I was in my early teens and really liked, and the other something I read the other day in which I have been thinking a lot about and how it might apply to my life.

"Perfect from the start, that small cell, contains already the wrinkles and death of an old man"

and

"Those who deserve love the least, need it the most"

Day 14

A Picture that you Love

Now normally I would put a picture of my kids here. I have many I love. But I thought I would make an attempt to go outside the box and post a picture of some artwork that I love.

A few years ago I discovered the artwork of Gustuv Klimt. I love his art. Many of his works feature mothers during pregnancy, with their children or in the embrace of their spouse. It's colorful, but also has darkness in the background. This one is my favorite, but I like many others. This picture and one other is hung in the upstairs hallway. I would love to accquire and frame more :0)

Day 13

Goals

Goals. This is something I think a lot about, but often don't have the strength or will power to pull off. I would say my biggest goals are

• Become more financially stable. I am trying hard this to eliminate all my debt (minus the mortgage) This will probably take 2 years to accomplish, but I think I can get rid of a large chunk this year. That is of course if my house and car stop falling apart. Last week I was out $240 for a flat tire - grrrrr.
• Lose weight. Geez, I think this has been a goal of mine since I started this blog in 2008. Kind of sad. It's a struggle and one that I have yet to face head on with a plan. I need to get a plan though, since some of my other goals depend on it.
• Have a fourth child. This goal is totally dependant on the first two goals. I would have loved for M and the next one to be closer in age, but that wouldn't be the right thing to do right now. So it looks like there will be a larger age gap then intended, but in the end will be the right thing for all of us.
• I would like to get a better sleep schedule. Maybe this and losing weight will then give me more energy. Energy I can spend on being a more physical mom and better housekeeper.
• Remain symptom free from MS. While I don't have any control over this one, it's still a goal. A big one.
• Return to a full time work schedule. This one also requires more energy, but would play a huge part in goal number one, and let's face it, would make some things a lot easier - but inevitably some things harder.

And of course the ultimate goal, to be a good mom to my children so that they can grow into happy, well adjusted, contented individuals who have the power and resources within them to meet their full potential.

Day 12

What you believe

Hmmm, this is a tough one. I'm not religious. I'm not into astrology, psychics or any real belief of higher powers. I am a very black and white person. My mind understands science, math and true facts. Gray areas, blind faith and interpretation isn't something I can embrace.

I try to live a good life and be a good person and hope that others around me so the same. I remove negativity and drama from my life and I don't believe that people can change who they are. While logically I believe that most people have good intentions my heart usually believes the opposite and until I really know someone they are kept at arm's length. I believe the world is one crazy place but I don't believe it's any worse now than before.

And I believe that the child who is now at my feet REALLY needs a clean diaper! Wow!

Day 11 (Also my 700th Post )

Your Favorite TV Shows

Ah, I love TV. I watch a ton of it if I could, but I never have time. Thank goodness for the DVR or I wouldn't watch anything. I have made a deal with myself that I would not pick up anymore TV shows since I have a hard time keeping up with the ones I do record. Some seasons this works, others...not so much.

Before I get into what I watch now I will share some of the classics. X-Files was probably my first love. Others include Friends, ER, Nip/Tuck, Will & Grace and LOST.

My current list includes (in no particular order)
-Desperate Housewives
-CSI Miami
-Two & a Half Men
-Big Bang Theory
-The Good Wife
-Law & Order SVU - I was also a fan of the original and CI
-Criminal Minds
-House
-Grey's Anatomy
-Private Practice
-CSI
-CSI NY
-16 & Pregnant - shhhh, this is a total guilty pleasure
-Intervention
-Modern Family

Such great shows for a multitude of reasons :0)