Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Frustration Part One

Why part one you ask? Because I'm sure this will be the start of a long frustrating process.

I still haven't heard from the specialist for K's leg. I called her ortho doc back and he hadn't even sent the consult yet. He is waiting for his dictation to return!? WTF! Why do you need a typed up piece of paper to call a pediatric orthopedist and tell them they need to see my daughter. I let my feelings be known but I don't think it got very far. The crappy thing is this office is only open Monday and Wednesday. So, with next Monday being closed for the 4th of July holiday, it will most likely be next Wednesday before anyone is even called about K's leg.

I can already tell this is going to be a fun ride.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Finally An Answer?

OsteoidOste*ma : a benign, bone-forming tumor that occurs most often in the long bones of the lower extremities. The femur (thighbone) is the most common location of occurrence, although it can emerge in the bones of the hand and it sometimes occurs in the lower part of the spine. They are very small tumors that do not grow larger that half an inch in diameter. They usually emerge sometime during the teenage years or early adulthood. The condition seems to occur more often in males than females.

This is what K has. She never broke her leg. This was what was causing her pain and limping, and what caused her bone to be inflamed and grow scar tissue, which is that is usually seen around a fracture. This is why she never had pain relief and why she would wake up frequently in the night crying. Poor thing has been suffering with this for months now.

In addition to pain, her calf and thigh muscles have started to atrophy. As a result of her thigh weakness, her knee has also started to give out at times. I hope this is fixed before any long term damage occurs.

We are now waiting for a call from the Children's Hospital to schedule and appointment and then surgery. I just hope this is truly what we are dealing with and once it is removed, my little girl is once again pain free.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Getting Excited

It is almost July. In July we have lots of fun things planned!

One weekend we will be headed to my parents cabin. While I know this adventure won't be the most relaxing event for me, the twins will have a blast. They had a great time last year and now that they are a year older, I think there potential for fun is even greater! The biggest drawback is this 2 bedroom cabin will house my parents, me and my brood as well as our close family friends. This makes for a total of 13 people!!! Yes, 13 people. 7 of these will be kids who I hope will be agreeable to sleeping in a tent on the deck, but I'm sure we will all be smooshed.

The P family is also visiting us again this July. You'll remember my good friend J and her brood of 5 from this time last year when she visited. She actually came with me to my gender US and was with me when we found out Max was a boy - wow how time flies! - While here we will be visiting a theme hotel with an indoor water park and many other activities for the kids. Another friend of mine just visited this place and had a BLAST so now I am even more excited to go :)

Include working, 3 scheduled appointments so far, a baby shower and a pampered chef party and July is already pretty booked up. Month like this are so exhausting, but I think in this case, it will be worth it!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Summer Fun


Ugh...Thanks for the Education

My mom watched the kids this past Sunday while I worked. While watching them she watched one of her true crime shows. You know the Dateline, 48 Hour Mystery ones where the wives kill their husbands. Well I guess the twins were with her because they started asking about 'killing' and my mom gave them a whole lesson on death. She included a lot of stuff like everyone dies; you get buried in a box; you die when your older, etc. This was not a good thing.

K has been worried since. She has asked me a few times if she's getting older. She worries that she will die before she can get a job or be a mommy. She said today that she needs to find a husband because if she doesn't, there will be no one to bury her when she dies. Many of these concerns are expressed while she is tearful and visibly worried.

I told my mom today what has been going on and my mom has the nerve to say that K has an anxiety problem and maybe needs counselling or medication! WTF? She's four and was given way too much information on a subject she can't process right now. I asked my mom not to do that again. She stated she wasn't going to lie to the kids. I told her I didn't expect her to lie, but the information she provides needs to be age appropriate. My mom just didn't understand and said I was shielding the kids from reality.

What is even more aggravating is the last time she watched them, my mom watched one of these shows involving a pregnant woman who was abducted and her baby stolen from her womb. How do I know this? K told me in vivid detail the story, peoples names, who went to jail etc. I talked to my mom after this incident and expressed some concern. K is a very smart little girl and is very aware of what is said around her. She sucks up everything like a sponge and I don't want her little head filled with this crap.

Sigh...why are mothers so difficult. I don't remember watching this kind of stuff when I was four?

Freaking Out a Little Less

So I called the insurance company and the reason they aren't paying is because this doctor is out of network! WHAT!? He came to me in the Emergency room of the hospital. I didn't have a choice in the matter!

Once I explained this, the insurance company will pay the $1200 bill since it was part of the ER visit, but will not pay for the 3 subsequent visits because I guess I was supposed to make sure he was in network before I took K to him. Whatever. I have no idea how much the visits will be but we have had three of them, so I hope not much.

We are supposed to see him again Monday but K is not getting any better, and I'm not paying out of pocket for an office visit just so he can refer us out. I will call tomorrow and see if he will either just go ahead and send us for the referral and/or schedule an MRI of her leg to see whats going on. Of course, if I do get that referral I will need to check and make sure it's covered.

It's sad...right now I should really only be thinking about K and getting her leg better, but I am consumed with worry about money. How screwed up is that?

Monday, June 21, 2010


Ugh...I can't stand money stress. It sends me into panic. It ties my stomach into knots. It makes me a very uneasy person.

I have already paid over $200 in co-pays for K's broken leg. I know that I probably have about another $50 to $100 left in addition to an $80 bill I got yesterday. Well today I get a insurance statement in the mail stating that they are not paying for the Orthopaedic Doctor because it's part of my $4000 deductible...WTF? My deductible is $400....not $4000. The only thing that could account for this, is they think K had surgery, because this Doc is a Trauma Surgeon.

I know what you're thinking...well call the insurance company tomorrow and let them know and they'll fix it. I am not at all confident that they will.

About 3 years ago K put her bottom teeth through her lip and needed 5 stitches. This was performed while I held her down in a doctors office. I got bill almost $800 because the doctor's office was also a surgical center and he billed for a surgery. So apparently surgery has a wide range of definitions. I fought this and lost.

You'll recall S's teeth debacle last year where I ended up owing $700 because insurance wouldn't cover baby teeth.

So, I have no confidence at all that this will end reasonably. There is no way I can afford $1200 right now. Especially on an injury that is not healed; one that K keeps complaining of hurting and still causes her to limp most of the day. Right now the 'talk' is sending her to a specialist in the next town over for further work up. I can't even imagine what the bills will amount to if this happens.

How is it that a person with insurance, who works for one of the largest medical facilities in this state, can't afford to treat her daughter for something as simple as a broken leg. So what...should I stop feeding, clothing, providing shelter for this child just so we can get her some pretty simple medical intervention. I hope not.

Friday, June 18, 2010

Why Having a Toddler is Like Being at a Frat Party

10. There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.
9. There's always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.
8. It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.
7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone's going to start banging on the door.
6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.
5. You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.
4. There's definitely going to be a fight.
3. You're not sure whether anything you're doing is right, you just hope it won't get you arrested.
2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.
1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.

This is hillarious...and oh so true!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Sneak Peek

I just love my photographer

Sunday, June 13, 2010

So Much to Say

And yet nothing to say.

Life has thrown me a curve ball or two, we have had several activities and made plans for a few more. All in all life has been good with no real hiccups or problems.

M has learned to sit up on his own. He acquired the skill about 1.5 weeks before turning 6 months. (yes, my precious, tiny, baby boy is 6 months old) I think this puts him a little ahead of the game, but I'm sure within the normal range. The twins always seemed physically advanced for their age, so it would make sense that M would be the same. M is also able to maneuver himself pretty well around the floor since we have hardwoods. He has figured out that it's pretty easy to 'slide' everywhere. We will probably need to have more tummy time upstairs on the carpet for the kid to think about learning to crawl.

M just had his 6 month portraits taken yesterday. I have not yet seen the sneak peaks but based on what I saw, I think I am in for a real treat! I am a little sad though because the woman who takes my portraits recently increased her prices and I just can't swing it. I was already stretching it paying her what I was for his 3 and 6 month pics, but the price has almost doubled and there is just no way I can do it for his 9 and 12 month pics. I'm not saying she isn't worth what she's asking, because she is, but I just can't justify it. I guess I need to be on the lookout the next few months for someone new.
S is doing well. He finished speech therapy for the summer. We gave his therapist a thank you gift and she sent a lovely thank you card. I still haven't heard whether or not the twins have gotten into the pre-K program, but if they don't, I will push for S to get the same therapist next year.
K is doing well too. Her leg however is still causing problems. 3 weeks later she continues to have a significant limp and often breaks down in tears c/o pain. The problem is, most of the times she breaks down in tears, she has been asked to do something she doesn't want to. I am just not sure how much I can trust her complaints. She has a follow up appointment tomorrow so I think I will ask for x-rays again just to reassure me that she is still healing as expected.
I am chugging along. Fatigue has been pretty manageable. I went to the dentist again and now the right side of my mouth is completely 'fixed'. Now to start on the left side and address that horrible broken molar. Can anyone say $$$$. I am trying to get some life things on order. Money, organization, planning and weight loss. I really need to figure out how to get back into losing weight and getting healthy again. I also need to develop a room by room plan of attack to get rid of stuff. Stuff is everywhere. Stuff that no one needs, but seems to hang around. I really need to simplify life in general and money, weight and organization seem to be a great way to start :)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

50 Things That Have Happened in the Last 10 Years - Post 5/5


  1. I graduated from Nursing School (2000)

  2. I began working on an Inpatient Oncology Floor, where I still am today (2000)

  3. Family brought over a refugee family from Vietnam. They lived with us for several years. Their 4 children were my surrogate children for a long time. (2000)

  4. Bought a dog from the pound, Madilyn, she is still with us (2000)

  5. Bought an acre of land to build my future home (2001)

  6. Contracted with local builder to build my home (2002)

  7. Moved into my own home! (2003)

  8. Decided it was time to become a mom (2003)

  9. Finished all required classes, forms and home study to adopt (2004)

  10. A good friend, Jocelyn, is murdered by her husband. Complete shock (2004)

  11. Brought home my first son, Zachary James from the hospital (9/2004)

  12. Spent my first Christmas as a mom. Super cool! (2005)

  13. My Son, Zach was given to another family per his birth parents request. One of the worst times in my life (3/2005)

  14. Became a customer of a Cryobank. Make a decision to TTC with donor sperm within weeks of Zach's loss. (2005)

  15. July 1st, 2005, after three attempts with home insemination I get my BFP! (2005)

  16. August 15th 2005, find out after weeks of intense nausea and vomiting...TWINS! (2005)

  17. 19 weeks gestation and it's confirmed, a Boy and a Girl! (2005)

  18. 36 weeks gestation, S and K make an entrance into the world. Life will never be the same...and that's an awesome thing! (2006)

  19. At 8 weeks we make a trip to Florida and pick up N to come live with us. This decision makes live easier and harder. (2006)

  20. Return to work in a day shift position. Initially I return full time, but that doesn't work. After 6 weeks I go to part time status where I still am. (2006)

  21. Q, our awesome nanny starts to work with us. She has been an amazing help in our lives and is still here today (2006)

  22. 'Met' one of my super awesome friends after joining a National Single Mother by Choice online board. (2006)

  23. Joined local mom of multiples club. Ended up making some great friends and now am very involved! (2006)

  24. Second trip to Florida for the twins first birthday (2007)

  25. Purchased a mom car - Minivan! (2007)

  26. K falls and puts her teeth through her lip. 5 Stitches. (2007)

  27. Lose 90 pounds! (2007)

  28. Drive to Canada with the twins. It's there first visit. (2007)

  29. Start planning on Baby #3. Will TTC early 2008 (2007)

  30. Wake up with weird symptoms. Get run around for weeks until I talk to a local neurologist. (2008)

  31. Good friend succumbs to his 5 year battle with leukemia. (2008)

  32. Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. World seems to crumble. (2008)

  33. The twins start gymnastics. Still going strong (2008)

  34. Gain back said 90 pounds (2008)

  35. Get my RNIII status at work. Take on more administrative responsibilities (2008)

  36. Make decision to continue to try for baby #3 (2008)

  37. Third trip to Florida to spend Christmas with family (2008)

  38. Start one IRL knows of my plans (2009)

  39. S gets official speech delay diagnosis and begin Speech Therapy. (2009)

  40. April 10th, after two months of TTC, I get my BFP! (2009)

  41. Second trip to Canada for the twins (2009)

  42. Good friend and crazy mom of five come to visit for a week (2009)

  43. 19 weeks gestation, after everyone correctly guesses, it's confirmed...a BOY! (2009)

  44. 39 weeks gestation, M makes his entrance. Life again changes, for the better (2009)

  45. My desire and goal to have a VBAC and successful breastfeeding experience achieved. Natural childbirth almost achieved. I am very satisfied. (2009)

  46. Turn 30!! Actually it wasn't a big deal (2010)

  47. Parents move closer to us. Hopefully this means more help sometimes :) (2010)

  48. K somehow breaks leg without anyone realizing it. Gets discovered an casted 3-4 weeks later (2010)

  49. First real vacation trip with just the kids and I. We all enjoyed the beach! (2010)

  50. I sit here and realize how much has happened in the last 10 years, and how much life has changed for the better. I really am living my dream!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

50 Things About My Children - Post 4/5

  1. Awesome Big Brother

  2. Loving

  3. Sweet

  4. Loves to Cuddle

  5. Imaginative

  6. Inquisitive

  7. Great Eater - Loves Fruit, Veggies, Milk...

  8. Great Sense of Humor

  9. Natural Care Taker

  10. Likes to Keep Things Calm

  11. Well Behaved...Mostly

  12. Handsome

  13. Very Active

  14. Compassionate

  15. Loves Dinosaurs, Imaginext and Puzzles

  16. Speech Delayed

  17. Doesn't like to sleep

  18. Whiny

  19. Stubborn

  20. Plays a Little Too Rough at Times


  1. Intuitive

  2. Intelligent

  3. Creative

  4. Excellent Memory

  5. Artistic

  6. Mature

  7. Very Verbal

  8. Imaginative

  9. Independent

  10. Curious

  11. Aware - She Hears and Remembers Everything

  12. Loves to Sing

  13. Skilled at Gymnastics

  14. Well Behaved...Mostly

  15. Beautiful

  16. Stubborn

  17. HUGE Attitude

  18. Whiny

  19. Demands to Get Her Own Way

  20. Horrible Eater - Doesn't Like Anything


  1. Sweet

  2. Loving

  3. Loves to Cuddle

  4. Sweetest Smile

  5. Wonderful Sleeper

  6. Very Laid Back

  7. Physically Advanced

  8. Handsome

  9. Inquisitive

  10. Clingy

Monday, June 7, 2010

50 Entertaining Things - Post 3/5

Some of my favorites TV Shows...

  1. CSI
  2. CSI NY
  3. CSI Miami
  4. Law & Order
  5. Law & Order SVU
  6. Law & Order CSI
  7. Desperate Housewives
  8. House
  9. Two and a Half Men
  10. Big Bang Theory
  11. The Good Wife
  12. Criminal Minds
  13. Nip/Tuck - Sad to see you go
  14. X-Files - Miss you bunches
  15. LOST - Was upset until I saw the finale
  16. Private Practise
  17. Grey's Anatomy
  18. 16 & Pregnant - Total guilty pleasure
  19. Intervention
  20. Life on the D-List

If I have to watch the kids shows...

  1. Spongebob Squarepants
  2. Fan Boy and Chum Chum
  3. Phineas & Ferb - a personal favorite
  4. Scooby Doo
  5. Johnny Test
  6. Chowder - what drugs are these guys taking?
  7. Team Oomi Zoomi
  8. Little Einsteins
  9. Imagination Movers
  10. The Upside Down Show
  11. Agent Oso
  12. Curious George
  13. Caillou
  14. Jane and Dragon
  15. iCarly

Favorite Movies -'s been likfe 5 years since I've seen a new movie

  1. Titanic
  2. Shawshank Redemption
  3. Get Shorty
  4. Notting Hill
  5. Pretty Woman
  6. Forrest Gump
  7. Silence of the Lambs
  8. How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days
  9. Ocean's 11
  10. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
  11. Austin Powers
  12. Sixth Sense
  13. Signs
  14. Shrek
  15. Finding Nemo

Saturday, June 5, 2010

50 Websites I Frequent - Post 2/5


These are in no specific order :o)






  6. - website tickers

  7. - online chat forums

  8. - beware of these steals may spend money you don't intend to










  18. - plus size clothing


  20. - character stickers for your car


  22. - usually have good deals on car seats

  23. - great deals on gift certificates



  26. - great mother's jewelery




  30. - National Mothers of Twins Clubs

  31. - get coupon codes for online shopping

  32. - Wonderful Mommy Group

  33. - book for children conceived via the non-traditional way

  34. - same type of book

















Thursday, June 3, 2010

50 Random Questions - Post 1/5

Your Favorite...

  1. Part of your love interest's body -Um...non-applicable

  2. Poet - Maya Angelou

  3. Halloween costume that you've worn - My mom made me a Snow White costume once. I still have it and I hope K can wear it.

  4. Breakfast cereal - Hard to say...probably something sugary

  5. Political figure - Sara Palin, not because I have any respect for her, she just makes it so darned easy to make fun of her!

  6. Magazine/periodical - People

  7. Job - Motherhood of course!

  8. Toy from childhood - Was a TOTAL Barbie fanatic

  9. Tattoo that you have - Don't have one, but I'd like one to symbolize my kids

  10. Pie - Pecan

  11. Old article of clothing - Comfy Pyjama Pants

  12. Day of the year - Now that I have kids, Christmas

  13. Genre of music - Pop

  14. Sports hero -

  15. Flower - Orchids

  16. Mixed drink - I don't drink alcohol, but when I did I liked the 'girly' stuff like Fuzzy Navel and Daquiris

  17. Drink - Diet Pepsi

  18. TV Show - Can't limit to one, but I like medical, crime, and drama's

  19. Movie musical - Chicago

  20. Vegetable - Tomato

  21. Type of Food - Mexican

  22. Screen kiss - I don't know but my favorite romantic movie is Notting Hill

  23. Tribe - Really?

  24. Place to buy clothes - I hate buying clothes for me, but for the kids, The Children's Place, Carters, Osh Kosh

  25. Religion/belief system - Anything liberal and open to all

  26. Curse word or phrase to say - I say Shit all the time and I do use the F-bomb more than I should.

  27. Unnecessary gadget of yours - Anything to do with cleaning. I buy the gadgets thinking it will make me want to clean, but it doesn't.

  28. Musical 'genius' - I'm going to say Justin Timberlake...I know that's not a typical answer but he seems to be able to do anything.

  29. Schoolyard game from childhood - Dodge Ball

  30. Bar - Cheers :)

  31. Color - Blue or Red

  32. 'Battle scene' from a movie - No idea

  33. Music to get your groove on - No idea

  34. Drug (illegal) - Never

  35. Thing about your family - That I was born in a time when I could create my family the way I chose to and have not received any 'back-lash' for it.

  36. Way to travel - Car, only if I'm driving

  37. Cause - Anything for Child Advocasy or Cancer Awareness

  38. Candy bar - Heath, Twix, Snickers

  39. Sex position - Havne't tried them all yet ;-)

  40. Thing about your work - My patient's gratitude

  41. Restaurant you frequent regularly - Mexican or Roadhouse

  42. Local park - Down the Road

  43. Cafe - Mimi's or Panera

  44. Subject/class from high school - Biology

  45. Horror movie - Silence of the Lambs

  46. Photo of yourself (describe) - A picture of the twins and I all in red shirts. Taken when they had just turned 2.

  47. Sport to play - Basketball

  48. Musical instrument - I am not muscical in any sense

  49. Band to see live - Would love to see Lady Gaga...although I guess she doesn't qualify as a band

  50. Video game - Simple old Mario Brothers

Hillarious Conversation With K

K is a planner. She is only four but talks daily about her life when she's older. Today she was talking about her babies.

K is going to have a baby boy and a baby girl. She is going to live in a pink house with a pink door and white stairs. When the babies come, I have to stay in the nursery with them at the hospital and then come home with K and help her take care of the babies. She even talked about how the doctor would cut open her tummy to take her babies out. When I reminded her that not all babies were cut out of the mommy's belly, her most serious response was this...

"But mom, the baby boy and girl are too big to fit in my tiny bagina!"

She just cracks me up!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Our Own Worst Enemy

How often is life made more difficult because of a choice you have made? Even worse, as choice you know was wrong, and you knew it would only lead to bad things and yet you still made it?Okay, my bad choice is pretty lame, but I think many of us have done the above.

I hate the dentist. Growing up I always had crappy teeth. Every dental exam meant cavities, sealants, repairs, pulling of teeth etc. I was told I had spongy teeth and my enamel wasn't the greatest. At 18 I had to have all four wisdom teeth pulled. It never ended. Around the time I turned twenty, and was no longer on my parents dental plan...I stopped going. Yep, as crappy as my teeth were, knowing that I needed frequent interventions...I stopped going. Bright idea huh?

Well most of my readers will be familiar with the fact that while pregnant with M I needed an emergency root canal which I had done. I was supposed to get an immediate follow up once M was born, which I didn't and that resulted in the shattering of said tooth a few weeks ago. That night I made the decision that I needed to smarten up and start seeing a dentist again. I have so far successfully grown a positive dental relationship with my kids and their dentist, and I needed to do the same.

About 2 weeks ago I went back to the dentist for a full work up including x-rays. As bad as my list of repairs was, I was shocked it wasn't worse. Today was the first of many visits. I had three cavities filled on the right side. Next week, two on the left. Then comes the dreaded repair of the shattered tooth. I have additional places that are being watched, but I think despite my stupid decision, I wasn't 'punished' to badly.

Now, for this shattered tooth. It's my first molar on the left and to fix it, it will require a Core Build Up, a Lengthening Implant, a Crown and possible Bone Shaving. All of this sounds very expensive and time consuming. Anyone have some good reasons that I shouldn't just go ahead and have the thing pulled?

500th Post

Sometime this month I will be making my 500th post! Wow...I have probably posted about some of the 500 most mundane, everyday events in the past 2 years :o)

To celebrate this milestone, I will make ten posts that will try to let my readers know a little bit more about me. Each post will have 50.... of something. I have a few ideas already, but if any of my readers out there have an idea of what they would like to read about...let me know :0)

One Month

It's been one month. In some ways it seems like just yesterday and in other ways it seems like much time has passed.

I am glad you are smiling again; living life with some purpose and joy; getting out there and trying to move on. Don't confuse this to mean I think you are healed, or 'over' Jordan's loss, but rather have found the strength to work through it and try to find a new way to live.

Mama, please don't cry because I am in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies
Please don't try to question GOD, don't think that he's unkind
Don't think he sent me to you, and then he changed his mind
You see I am a special child, and needed up above
I'm the special gift you gave him, the product of your love
I'll always be there with you and watch the sky at night
Find the brightest star that's gleaming and that's my brilliant light
You'll see me in morning frost that mists your window pane
That's me in the summer showers I'll be dancing in the rain
When you feel a little breeze from the gentle wind that blows
That's me, I'll be planting a sweet warm kiss on your nose
When you see a child playing and your heart feels a little tug
That's me, I'll be there giving your heart a hug
So daddy please don't look so sad, mama please don't cry
I'm in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies

Love you lots Jenn! Even if I am not saying it, I think of you all the time and keep you nestled in my heart.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Trying A New Look...

I was tired of the basic blog template so I'm trying to spice it up a little.

I like this one for now...but who knows what I'll end up with.

Anyone know of a program where I can create my own templates?

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed


How Crazy Can One Woman Be? Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved Baby Blog Designed by Ipietoon | All Image Presented by Online Journal

This template is brought to you by : | Blogger Templates