Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!!

Today was a great day spent with family, including my three wonderful blessings. Although M decided to stay up for several hours during the night, and the twins woke up bright and early, the day went very well.

S received many Imaginext items with Dragons and Dinosaurs and LOVED them. Right now he is so into imaginary play and has already spent a few hours today playing with his new sets.

K got a Karaoke Machine and some pop CD's. She loved singing along to her favorite songs first thing this morning. She also got some Zhu Zhu pets and a Starter City which took all my energy and money to find, and while she enjoys them, they are definitely not the highlight of her day.

M spent the whole morning sleeping and barely making a peep. Since he is so little, a right now need absolutely nothing, I didn't get him anything for Christmas this year. He did get an outfit and an ornament from family though.

Tomorrow life with return to 'normal' and we can start to get into a better routine. My parents will be leaving soon and the four of us now need to figure out how to function day to day.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Just Some More Pics


Monday, December 21, 2009

For My 400th Post

Just going to post a pic...enjoy :)

Friday, December 18, 2009

One Week Old


Max was one week old yesterday. Time just flies when you're having fun.
I really have to say that Max is such a good baby. He rarely fusses, sleeps as well as can be expected and is nursing like a champ. There is really nothing bad I can say about my first week with him. I am totally in love.
The twins have also done wonderfully. S is a little whiny at times and still wants to have his cuddle time. I try my best to hug and kiss on S while constantly telling him what a great big brother he is. He loves to talk to Max and constantly refer to him as his buddy. S also likes to hold Max but that usually only lasts a few seconds. K is much more maternal and wants to help with things like diaper changes and getting him dressed. She is very curious about all his actions and also loves to hold him. K however would probably hold him all day if I let her.
I am doing okay. Delivery wise I think I am healing and recovering nicely. I still have some cramping and of course the residual SPD pain. It might take up to six weeks for the SPD to heal, but at least without an 8lbs baby sitting in my pelvis, the pain is much more manageable. Unfortunately the day I came home from the hospital, I also came home with an upper respiratory infection with cough and sore throat. Within a few days it had spread to a double ear infection as well. If I could shake this illness...I think I would almost feel completely normal.
Enjoy the pic of Max. I had a professional photographer come to the house to take pics and I got a little sneak peak. I will post more when I get them :)

Saturday, December 12, 2009

He is Here!


I went to my scheduled doctor's appointment on the 9th and had several tests. My blood pressure was up for the first time and Max was now measuring almost 9lbs via US. After talking to my midwife about my options, it was decided I would head to the hospital to be induced.

I went right over and got to my room about 5pm. I was having some mild contractions but to speed things along, my midwife broke my water at 6pm. At that time I was still only 4cm and 80% effaced. After 1.5h of irregular and fairly weak contractions they started pitocin at 8:30pm. At 2am, and SEVERAL bumps of the pitocin, labor was getting pretty intense so I asked for some Staydol. Before they gave it to me they checked my cervix again, and I was still only 4cm and 100% effaced. About 10 minutes after the Staydol labor began to get intolerable and with not making any cervical change I just couldn't keep going. While prepping for the epidural I think I kinda 'lost it' pain wise and it was unbearable. I wasn't handling things too well at that point. Well...when they laid me back down once the epidural was in, they went to check me again...and could see the babies head! Apparently in about 45 minutes I went from 4cm to 10cm and I guess the reason for the intense pain near the end. The epidural only took effect once I started pushing, so...I guess I went basically med free for the labor and got a nice pain free 2 minutes of pushing.

Max was born December 10th at 3:14am weighing 8lbs 0oz. I was able to have my VBAC and he came in just one or two pushes. He is nursing well and seems to be a good baby - as much as you can tell in the first 36 hours The twins were unable to see him until I was discharged, on Friday (11th) around noon due to hospital restrictions on children under 18. They have been super excited and cute since he got home. Right now they are totally in love with him and curious about all his actions. I just wonder how long that will last.
I'm sure any updates right now will be few and far between, but I will try to post at least once a week.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

I Guess I Should Update...

With the fact that absolutely nothing has happened :(

I went for the membrane stripping on Thursday. Painful but not horrible. Felt crampy and a little sore that day...but nothing much. Before she even did the procedure I was 4cm dilated, 80% effaced, head was fully engaged and my membrane were bulging. My midwife felt like I would go into labor soon regardless of what she did. Well, here it is 3 days later and I'm still waiting.

I have gone shopping. I have taken EPO. I am doing everything I can imagine. This child needs to be born before I go crazy.

My next appointment is Thursday but I might try and call tomorrow and see if I can move it up to at least Wednesday.

Any suggestions?? I will try anything!!!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Last Belly Shot


Here it is. Hopefully there will be no further opportunities for another shot. I am hoping and wishing that this Thursday will be successful and that Max will make his arrival that day or soon after.
On a kind of positive note I have been super crampy today with lots of cervical pressure and pain with a dull back ache. These, I'm told are all good signs for impending labor. So...if I don't go on my own, at least I am hoping that my body will be ready and compliant for this Thursday!!
I should have my laptop with me, so if I have the energy, I will try to update here when he arrives. I'm really hoping that I won't need to post anything from now until his arrival.

Friday, November 27, 2009

37 Weeks

I have made it. Max can come any time now and be considered a full term infant...and I encourage him to do so.

I am so tired, sore and worn out. When it comes to this stage of pregnancy, I am a wimp. I am a horrible mother when it comes to pregnancy, but I think a pretty good one when the baby gets here :)

I am pretty sure today was my last day of work. I am too sore and tired to continue and honestly I'm of little value right now. As long as Max comes next week, I won't regret going out now.

I am holding on hope that Thursday will be end of this pregnancy and that I will have a little baby in my arms. I must just keep focusing on that.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Today's Appointment

Well, today was a mixed bag. No real news but maybe a plan?

My cervix, despite the pain and pressure, is the same. 2cm. Max's head has come down some more though, so that's good. She checked to see if I was leaking any amniotic fluid, based on some things lately, and I'm not. So that's good...I guess. I had another US. Max is still head down and well engaged but 4 weeks he has put on over 2lbs! Neither I nor the midwife expected that. He is now approximately 7lbs 4oz.

I checked out fine. BP good, urine good, weight - actually lost 5lbs.

So our next appointment was made for next Thursday, December 3rd. If everything looks okay she will strip my membranes and be more active with trying to bring on labor. The concern is now that Max is growing quickly and I don't want a 10lbs baby!!

So, while I still hope that my three days of working on the unit this week will bring on labor, it looks like late next week may be the 'end'.

Friday, November 20, 2009

36 Weeks

The magical 36 weeks. I am finally there!

This past week has been another long week with uncertainty and waiting, but Max really was were he needed to be - inside growing :) I still have days with hours of contractions and anxiety over whether the 'big event' may be near. The waiting sucks but I know it won't last forever.

Thursday my work had a baby shower for me. It was very nice with co-workers floating in and out, yummy food and of course generous gifts. I think I have everything I need for the little man now all I need to do is unpack and organize it all. My thank you cards have finally shipped, so maybe those will come in before Max is born and I will have time to send them all out.

Today was a little extra uncomfortable. Whatever position Max is in, resulted in intense shooting pain down my belly and into my pelvis. OUCH! Hopefully he will decide to shift soon and give his poor mama a break.

This weekend will be fairly low key. Tomorrow I am going to a Holiday Bazaar and hoping to finish my shopping. Other than plans! Then I think my dad will be coming this weekend and staying the week which will be VERY NICE. Doctors appointment, which includes an US on Monday and then our typical busy Tuesday.

One more week of living day to day....but the end is near.

S Update

S woke up yesterday morning in much better spirits. He moved and walked like he was virtually pain free and although his buttocks was still a little swollen and looked so much better!!!

Today he is back to his old self. Sore still there but not as hard, red or warm. I will finish out today with a warm bath a neosporin but I think after tonight I won't need to continue any other treatment other than the oral antibiotics that he will be on until next week.

Glad to have a speedy resolution on this!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Poor S!

Last night S was acting weird and touching his right buttock/thigh a lot so I finally pinned him down to take a look. The poor thing had a hard knot that was reddened and inflamed. I knew from my experience as a nurse that he had an abscess. At that time there was no 'head' to the sore but a small bump surrounded by very angry, red skin.

This morning while at work I called and made him an appointment. Luckily his nanny, Q, brought him to the doctor and I met them over there. The doc looked at it, confirmed my diagnosis and started him on antibiotics, warm compresses, neosporin and frequent warm baths. S was so brave letting the doc look and manipulate the sore. You could see by his body language that it hurt badly, but he braved through it. Doc claims it MRSA, although didn't take a culture (whatever). I was a little more relieved though, because by the time I saw S at the docs, the abscess had formed a white head and looked like it might actually drain on it's own.

When I got home I put a warm washcloth on his buttock and let it sit. I then removed the head's covering, much to S's pleas not to, and I was able to allow some of the contents to drain - YUCK! The applied neosporin and a bandage followed by some ibuprofen and antibiotics.

The poor boy is miserable, limping around the house and complaining that the doctor did not make his boo-boo feel better. Hopefully tomorrow he will feel some relief. I can't imagine how sore he is. That abscess is huge for his small body!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Another Appointment Today

Pretty un-exciting.

My midwife chose not to check my cervix again since she just checked it last week. She said based on my history of walking around dilated for several weeks with the twins, one week wasn't going to make a huge difference. I don't disagree with her, but it would have been semi-nice to know where I stood.

My blood pressure and urine were fine. Platelets dropped again, but still aren't at any dangerous level (143) so I'm happy with that. Weight was actually down a pound or two.

My midwife thinks I will deliver between 37 and 38 weeks which is good for Max, and I guess I can put up with two more weeks of this. This week at work I am out of staffing which is great, but next week, being a holiday week, I am back on the floor which will be VERY difficult. Who knows, maybe this is what will put me into labor - I honestly wouldn't be surprised! After this Friday (36 weeks) I will be okay if he comes. I know 36 weeks is still early yet, but any major issues should be avoided by this mark.

If you go by some current theories of my friends, Max will be born on Thanksgiving since the twins were born on Valentines Day. This will put me just under 37 weeks. I'll take it!

Friday, November 13, 2009

35 Weeks

Everything is about the same. Contractions and cramping; crazy pressure and pain...but nothing worse and no more bleeding. Max is still very active as well.

Still hoping for at least one more week, although 2 would be better. I have another appointment on Tuesday so we shall see.

This weekend I hope to take care of my to-do list. Knock out most of my Christmas Shopping (I'm thinking mostly gift cards) and get the h0use cleaned. I believe J, my sister is going to help me with the latter. We'll see how much I can get done.

Gymnastics on Monday and Tuesday; Appointment Tuesday; Back to work Wednesday to Friday and I'll be 36 weeks before I know it!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

An Interesting Day

Today has been a little nerve wracking. It has been spent pretty uncomfortably with constant cramping, frequent contractions and nausea. I feel bad and I cant help but feel like labor might be near (although I've never been in labor so I don't really have anything to base that on).

**And TMI Alert**
This evening when going to the bathroom, I found that I also had bright red, bloody discharge.

I would really like Max to stay put a little longer. I will be 35 weeks this Friday but that still makes me nervous. I would much rather he stick around until at least 36 weeks. The last thing I want is leaving a baby in the NICU when I go home.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Doctors Appointment

Today was a busy day.

We started out with maternity shots done by a local photographer. She does amazing work and I hope that some of these pics turn out, but with the way the twins acted, I'm not so sure. They were such butt heads - and that's putting it nicely. I should get a preview later this week and my full CD next week.

Then I had to run to work for an all day meeting, but arrived late due to said photo shoot. Spent the rest of the morning/afternoon discussing things I really had no interest in all the while wishing I could crawl into a bed somewhere and take a nap.

Next was a doctor's appointment. I had decided that I wasn't going to have her check my cervix because it was so early and why go through the trouble. Well when I mentioned that I had some (TMI warning) blood tinged discharge this am, she wanted to check. Well, low and behold I am 2cm dilated and 60% effaced. Great! I have so much shit to do and now most likely only 1 or 2 weeks to do it in. I emailed my boss and told her that I would appreciate a lighter assignment because although I would LOVE to be not pregnant, I would like Max to hang around at least another two weeks to avoid a NICU stay. And surprise, I am now on weekly doctor visits and have orders to take it easy.

I will say that with the twins I walked around for three weeks at 3cm and 80% effaced and never went into labor so I'm not hugely concerned that labor is imminent right now. Of course, with the twins I wasn't working and didn't have toddlers and everything else I have to keep up with, and I'm sure this can make a difference.

So, I will try to take it easy....except for the million things I need to get done, the appointments I must keep, the gymnastic classes, the speech therapy and the general day to day goings on. That's easy...right?

Friday, November 6, 2009

34 Weeks

Well the complaints are still the same, so I will skip those.

Max is still a moving and a shaking. He is now at the size that I think I know what body parts are poking me where and he is a very active little boy. His knees sit right about at my belly button and I often have these weird bulges on my belly in that area. Yesterday people at work were laughing because you could just see the waves of movement across my belly. I can honestly say, this will be the one and only thing I will miss about being pregnant.

I got an unexpected gift today when work called at 5:45am and said I wasn't needed to I could take the day off - YAH! Since my babysitter was paid for, I slept in until 10am and then ran around taking care of some errands that I wanted to do this weekend. I was able to finish getting all three kids their holiday outfits (now all I need are matching pj's), a birthday card for a party tomorrow, the last two Hallmark Ornaments I wanted and even some dirt cheap Halloween costumes for the kids to play dress up in. All that and I was even able to get back home in time to let the sitter go 2 hours early and lay down for a nap with the twins. (yes, I napped even though I slept in until 10am)

This weekend we have a birthday party and a brunch to attend. Next week will be pure HELL as I have a million things scheduled to do. This was partially intentional to get everything done as early in the month as possible so that I could rest for the rest of November, but I'm now thinking I wasn't too bright to do it.

I will probably try to update Monday as I have a doc's appointment and a maternity shoot that day...but with also a full day of work and a twins mom meeting that night...I'm making no guarantees :)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Hoping this is just a Fluke

The last 24 hours has been miserable. I woke up early this morning, around 4am, with intense abdominal pain. It lasted for about 2 hours. I almost called my midwife, but I knew it wasn't contractions and rather just pain and I must have fallen back asleep about 6am.

I woke up with the alarm at eight and realized I was once again in pain. Within the hour I was throwing up food I had the night before for dinner. Since then, I have not vomited again, nor have I had the intense pain, but my gosh, everything that goes into my mouth makes me nauseous. I haven't taken any meds because this feels more mechanical than hormonal. It feels like my stomach or intestines are so compressed that nothing is moving through.

Hoping this is just a short lived thing. I guess it really even could be a stomach virus. I am hoping for the first thing because if it is a virus, only a matter of time before the twins start with it.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Shower Today

Today I had my first shower. It was a lovely gathering of friends. Max got some great gifts. Some new outfits, diapers, toys and other essentials. A friend even gave me 4 hours to my favorite drop in childcare place for the twins. I also received the Space Saver Highchair I had wanted and some other great mom made gifts.

The food and company was great, but special mention needs to be given to the cake and cupcake tower. It was adorable! I cute cake with puppy and pacifier along with a bunch of cupcakes adorned with other baby items. Not only was it super cute, but tasted great! I will definitely keep this baker in mind for future events of mine :0)

K initially wanted to open all of Max's presents but the novelty quickly wore off. The twins did have fun though playing with a few other children who were there and adding to their earlier suger binge with more brownies and cake.
This shower has reminded me of all the things I need to get done in the next four weeks to ensure that we are all ready for his arrival. I think tonight before bed I'll start making my list and then work at crossing things off.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween Fun!

Today we had a busy, but pretty good day.

It started with our twin groups Trunk or Treat. Although it was kinda drizzly the whole time, the kids had fun playing games, riding power wheels and playing with friends. They collected a bunch of loot and used up a bunch of energy which lead to the wonderful nap we had when we got home.

My sister then took them out Trick or Treating in the neighborhood. I have never done this so it was their first time. They had a blast, of course, and added substantially to their candy haul. The twins then gorged on their candy for an hour or so when I halted the binge. They of course were bouncing off the walls, but I was still able to get them to bed on time.
Tomorrow is my first baby shower :) I look forward to seeing everyone and getting the chance to celebrate Max. I will try to post and upload some pics tomorrow :)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

33 Weeks....A Total Bitch and Moan Post

Warning...the following post is full of pitiful whining and've been warned.

Sleep - I am so friggin tired. I feel like I can't do this anymore. I get maybe 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night but of course not consecutively. I wake up constantly. I can't sleep in a bed...I can't sleep in the chair. On days I am home I compensate by lounging around the house all day and forcing the twins to take a nap. On days I work it's PURE HELL. I am always behind and exhausted at work and then I come home and I'm a zombie.

Work - I think there should be a law that women beyond 30 weeks of pregnancy shouldn't have to work. It's torture. I want to spend as much time as I can with Max after he born which means I have to force myself to work now. I spend my shift running up and down halls, tending to the sick and needy all the while being short of breath, fighting off painful contractions and disabling exudation. After tomorrow I have committed to 4 more weeks of work, one of those being out of staffing working on our units schedule. I just don't know if this body of mine will work for 4 more weeks.

Pain - My SPD is killing me. This impacts my sleep horribly. The saddest thing about SPD is the most painful activity is lying in bed. So even when I get the chance to sleep, it is accompanied but excruciating pain. Every time I move an inch I wake up in pain. I have been near tears just wishing that I could have one night were I can sleep without hurting. With the twins it was also horrible but didn't start until about 28 weeks. I have had this now since about 15 weeks of pregnancy and it just gets worse and worse. Sitting also hurts like hell so about the only thing I can do to stay pain free is stand. Well...I have no energy and I am beyond the standing isn't really a great solution either.

Okay. I needed to spew that out. I try not to complain too often. I have tried hard not to only bitch and moan with this blog...but I needed to do this. My midwife thinks I won't last until past 38 weeks. This is what is keeping me going. 4 more weeks of work...5 more weeks of this discomfort.

Some one tell me I can do this....

Monday, October 26, 2009

Good Appointment Today

I had my 32 week appointment this afternoon. Everything went well.

I had another US and Max looks great. His weight is up to 4lbs 10oz and he was moving like crazy! Of course he was facing my back again! so no great facial snapshots. He remains head down which is great.

My BP is good. I didn't gain any weight the last 2 weeks and my urine is clear. Still have swollen feet but it hasn't progressed any, or gotten any worse. I expressed some of my concern with bruising so my midwife drew another platelet count which actually came back a little higher. I guess I was just noticing things that maybe were there all along, I just wasn't paying attention.

I will have another 'check up' in two weeks and then a final US and full exam two weeks after that. My midwife says that at the 36 week mark we can finalize our platelets...and check my cervix to make an educated guess about when labor will occur. Since I started dilating and effacing at 32 weeks with the twins, she guesses I won't make it past 38 weeks...and that is fine by me :)

Thursday, October 22, 2009

My Sensitive Little Girl

The other night I was sitting on the couch with K laying on my belly. Max started to get very active and kicked K in the head a few times. After the third or fourth time K looked up at me with her big blue eyes and said "I think Max don't like me". Of course I told her that he loved her but then K returned that comment with "Well why is Max kicking me?"

Poor thing. I think at the end she was convinced that Max was not kicking her intentionally but she sure did look upset about it.

32 Weeks


I am posting my weekly update a day early because I doubt I will get the chance tomorrow.

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the 8th month. I am so happy to be this far and although this pregnancy hasn't been near as horrible as my last one, I am more than happy to be nearing the end.

There isn't much to update. I will have my 32 week check up and US on Monday so hopefully I'll have some good updates and pictures. I am still a little worried about my platelet level, so hopefully she'll draw some labs as well.

Max is moving plenty and I think the little bugger turned back to feet down a day or two ago, however I am pretty sure he's back to head down. The twins are ready for their brother to be here, although I'm sure they don't have a real sense of what that really means.

Tomorrow I have day one of my required birthing class. I really don't want to take this, as I'm not sure how much it will really help, but I am required to take it if I want insurance to pay for my delivery. A good friend of mine will join me tomorrow night and all day Saturday, so at least I will have someone to talk to some.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

That's My Boy!

S decided that he was going to do his best tonight to try and make K and me giggle. He did a good job and I just had to get a picture. Now to place this is a safe place until he's a teen when I need some good leverage.

Halloween Event #1

We had our First Halloween Party today. The kids finally got to wear the costumes they had seen a few weeks ago before they were tucked away. Other than it being unseasonably cold today, the twins had a good time and so did I.

After today, three more costume events; 2 Trunk or Treats and then of course Halloween night when Aunt J is taking them out :)

Friday, October 16, 2009

31 Weeks

Doing okay.

Had another doctor's appointment yesterday. Blood pressure and urine are fine. Other than that, no real exam. My swelling is still present, but just in my lower legs and feet, so from what I understand, not a big deal. I will go for another US in just over a week.

Work has decided to make the H1N1 vaccine mandatory so I guess soon enough I will be getting the vax :( I was still undecided and I HATE like hell that someone else is making the decision for me, but what can I do. I can fight it, but I will probably lose. Time to just suck it up I guess.

My other worry is my low platelet count. I am a little worried because I have noticed that I bleed a little easier after my Copaxone shots and the other day I knocked my leg into S's bike and ended up with a hematoma and horrible bruise. These might be signs that my platelets are getting into the dangerous levels. I kinda forgot to tell my midwife yesterday, so I will tell her at the next appointment. I will be just over 32 weeks at that point, so she may decide to draw some more labs. I am really afraid that this platelet crap will end up causing me trouble and taking me out of work. I really don't want to be out of work until the baby is here. I do not want to go back any sooner than I have to, and I only have 12 weeks total.

Life is never easy huh? :)

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I Love this Weather!

I am someone who is always hot. Even when everyone else is cold, I could be sweating it out. Well pregnancy has made this 10x worse!

The summers in Canada were always too hot for me and they only lasted a few months. Here, they are unbearable! From May through September hot, hot, hot. I don't leave the house unless I have to. I have been told that MS makes this worse...who knows. I just know I don't like the heat.

But in the last week or so we have seen weather in the 70's. Nice. I left the front door open for awhile this morning to try and air out the house. Definitely something I will do again next weekend. Now as nice as it still creeps into the 80's by the afternoon. I am hoping in a few weeks we get the 60's/70's weather all day :) Of course, sadly it will only be a short time before the colder weather gets here, but in my experience, it's always easier to warm up...but near impossible to cool down.

Friday, October 9, 2009

30 Weeks

0 comments I am 30 weeks pregnant. That means roughly 7-10 more weeks and I'll be holding my little guy in my arms.

Work is getting so hard. Each week is more difficult with feelings like I'm just not going to make it. Pregnant and fat just doesn't work with running up and down hallways and caring for every whim and desire for 5 to 6 sick people. As of right now, I am planning on working 7 more weeks, two of these being out of staffing working on the unit schedule. Keep me in your thoughts that I actually make it these next 7 weeks.

I am also starting to experience feelings of fear and worry. With the twins I was never nervous. I don't know why. I mean I knew how the birth process could be. Maybe they made me so darned miserable inside that I had no worries about how they were going to be leaving. This time I sometimes start to worry a little about this natural, vaginal birth I am asking for. Do I really know what I'm doing? Can I really do this? What happens when they pain is so bad I want to die, but it's too late for medications? You know...the usual stuff I imagine.

As far as after the babies birth, I really don't worry about adding the third to the mix. I figure the four of us will figure out how to navigate our new life. The twins will have a transition and there will be some challenges, but overall I believe will be okay. Although I will still be tired, I will love my new infant to pieces and take in every minute. But I do have one major worry here too....BREAST FEEDING! I was not successful at all with the twins. They didn't want to latch and I didn't have the patience to keep trying. About 10 days after their birth I gave up and went to pumping. I really want a good experience this time, with mostly breastfeeding (obviously bottle when I go back to work) for the first year at least. I did sign up for a breastfeeding class this go round, I have the number to a good lactation consultant and I am more determined to make it work this time. Hopefully these changes will make a difference this time.

So all in all I'm doing pretty normal. I do enjoy being pregnant more now, although I'm still ready to be done. Max is very active and keeps my belly moving for hours at a time. The twins are getting impatient and so is mommy. Hopefully not too long before we all get to meet this little guy.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Birth Control and Stupid Women

Question: Is birth control really that ineffective...or are women just plain stupid?

I was asking this question at work the other day and I think everyone pretty much agreed on the answer.

I am the leader of a single mom group. Right now there are 5 of us who are pregnant. If you take me out of the equation, you have 4 single moms who are recently divorced, in unstable relationships, struggling to get by and/or had no intention of getting pregnant. So how is it that 4 women 'accidentally got pregnant' during such crappy times in their lives?

If you listen to my mom...she says that no women accidentally gets pregnant. They all either consciously or sub-consciously wanted to get pregnant. They needed something to love/love them, they are trying to hold onto a relationship that is failing, or they want to be pregnant. Now before you go and judge know that my mother had four 'accidental' pregnancies, so she does have some clue what she's talking about. I think for the most part, I agree with my mom. I have many married friends who have been married for years and years and have only gotten pregnant when they wanted to. I know single women with quite the active social life, who again have never been pregnant.

And yes, I know that in all likelihood there are women out there who used the pill like they were told, who used the condoms they should have and who used the appropriate method of birth control like they should have and still ended up with a little bundle nine months later. My point is, I think these women are few and far between. I think for the most part, my mom is right. Most of these women are 'wanting' this outcome, whether they truly realize it or not.

Okay...that's my social commentary for today :)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Mostly Done

I am pretty much done with the nursery. I have a few things here and there but I am happy with where we are at. I am trying to sell or eBay several items that I have found when cleaning out the closets in the nursery. Since this is the twins old room, there are lots of their items still hanging around. I have found a ton of girls clothes with tags still attached. I will be working on getting those gone...maybe even get some spending money :)

The kids had a birthday party today. October is a busy month. Every Saturday we have a birthday party or Halloween party to attend. There are lots of appointments and other things too. I hope the business translates to a quick October and 4 more pregnancy weeks out of the way.

As of right now I am 8 weeks to term (37weeks) and 8 weeks sounds do-able. So that's what I keep telling myself. Just 8 more weeks! :)

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I am Not an Idiot

Actually, for the most part, I think I am a rather smart, educated person who has some knowledge about the world around me.

So why am I pissed. Well, there are women I know who choose not to vax themselves or their children AT ALL. Fine. You do whatever you think is best for you and your family. The problem is, they don't stop there. They think it's their job to educate us idiots who inject these horrible substances into our bodies. They need to constantly remind us how freaking superior they are because they live a natural life. They need to make me feel like I am injecting pure poison into my children and my unborn fetus. I guess if they do this over and over again I will give into their way of thinking and stop?

So again, what you do with your life and your children is your business, but don't make it your life's work to push your crap on me. I don't feel it necessary to defend and push my thoughts on them, but then again I am fine and comfortable with what I have chosen. Maybe they are the ones with the insecurities??

Either way...shut up. I don't want to hear it anymore!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Today Appointment

First and most importantly I passed my glucose screening - Yeah! My hemoglobin is good but oddly my platelets are a little low. I did this with the twins too. Apparently some women develop an immune response to pregnancy which results in decreased platelets. Mine so far are low but fine (149) I know they got down into the 80's with the twins. I'm really not concerned right now because bleeding problems don't become significant until they're under 50 and really, even lower than that. We will re-check the level at 36 weeks unless I have issues before then.

Max is head down, however this changes hourly, and weighs about 3lbs! Blood pressure, urine, amniotic levels all good. So great visit overall. Didn't get any great 3D pics, but I will include what I received.

Now on the every two week visit with every four week US plan. We talked a little about my birth plan - yippee that means its getting closer! - and discussed H1N1 again. Honestly I change my mind daily on what I want to do.'s the pics...enjoy!

Another H1N1 Rant!

I hate how this H1N1 has everyone in a panic and stupid decisions are being made.

The hospital where I will deliver is now banning all people 18 and under from their facility for the flu season. Yep, this means that when I deliver, my mom won't be able to come visit with the twins, or really visit at all, because she will be watching the twins. How freaking ridiculous is that!? I feel bad for the twins because of course I've been talking up coming to see me and Max at the hospital when he's born. Also, they were both signed up for a Big Brother/Big Sister Class which they have also cancelled.

If I have a complication free delivery I will be going home ASAP. I will not sit around in a hospital that doesn't allow my family to be with me at a time like that. And, if my doc could deliver there, I would totally switch my delivery to a neighbouring hospital. They are being a little more realistic and posted a guard at the entrance. Every person who enters has to wash their hands with the alcohol gel, and if they appear sick, are turned away. This makes much more sense to me. All I can hope is by the time I deliver they have changed their mind. Although unlikely, it is possible because there is HUGE public outrage about this right now. Women who are close to delivery are actually switching docs to birth at the other hospital.

They should know better then to piss off pregnant women!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Wish Me Luck!

Tomorrow afternoon I have my 28 week appointment. I will have another US, all my blood work, including glucose screen, and will use this appointment to ask some important questions.

As far as the US goes I'm hoping Max cooperates! I am now far enough along that I should be able to get some really good 4D US pics. But, the last two times I've had an US, his face has been facing my back thus making it impossible to see any detail regarding his face.

Most of my blood work should be fine. I think I may be a little anemic. I tend to be this way when I'm not pregnant so I'm more at risk for this pregnant. Fatigue has really picked up again. Of course this could just be the third trimester, but I'll be curious to see what my hemoglobin is. I am worried about my glucose screen. Not sure why as I avoided it with the twins, but this pregnancy has been very different (other than the nausea). I know that with my weight, I am set up for pregnancy induced diabetes so maybe that's why. I guess tomorrow afternoon I will know whether or not I am worried for nothing.

Then I just need to ask some general questions. More questions about the H1N1 vax, probably discharge time after delivery for a complication free delivery, and what is in store for the upcoming 12 weeks.

I will update tomorrow after my appointment, hopefully with good news and good pics!

Friday, September 25, 2009

28 weeks!!!

I am there. Yipee!

I don't know why, but I have had an ominous feeling about this pregnancy from the beginning that I never experience with the twins. Well as of today I have reached that milestone where if Max were born now, it would be highly likely that we would have a positive outcome. I can now relax a little and know that we have made it past the critical time.

Of course I hope Max sticks around for at least 9 more weeks. That would bring him to full term, and quite honestly he can vacate ANY time after that. I am looking forward to his arrival and can't wait to meet my little man. His room is still being worked on, but I love just walking in there and looking around. Soon, very soon, there will be a little bundle living in there. I can hardly wait!

Kaylyn Marie

Remember me posting awhile back about a coworker who had her baby at 24 weeks. Well sadly, little Kaylyn passed away last night. She would have been about 11 weeks old. I feel horrible to Kim and can't imagine her struggle.

This is the third child Kim has lost. She lost twins a few years ago, the same way I'm told. Goes in for her 24 week US and finds that she no longer has amniotic fluid, the perform an emergency c-section to try and save the baby(ies) and despite all the efforts the outcome is not good.

Kaylyn was born weighing 14oz. Max at this gestation weighed 1lbs 5oz and was only in the 40th percentile so my guess is something was wrong for a little while. Kim was lucky in the sense of where she delivered as many hospital nationwide will not intervene with a preemie that weighs less than 1lbs. Kaylyn spent the first few weeks at the local hospital and then was transferred to a neighbouring one a few weeks later - also not a good sign as her level of care of getting more critical. Kim kept her hope up and even this week talked about having her home for Christmas. With the baby living 11 weeks, it hurts to imagine how much Kim has collected in her home for her daughters arrival. What will she have to face when she goes home again. I know she diligently pumped at work every time she worked to keep up a good supply for her girl.

Part of me hates that Kaylyn lived 11 weeks to only then pass away. The longer she survived, the more hope she gave to her mother and family. I feel like it was an amazing painful trick that life played on Kim. Of course, it can also be seen as a gift of 11 weeks that she got to spend with her daughter and a time of experiences and memories she will never forget.

My heart is with Kim and her family tonight. I hope she finds the strength to make it through this again.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Nursery...The Beginning

Here is what me and my sister accomplished tonight. Furniture in it's place. Crib put together. Bedding unpacked. My future bed assembled. It looks pretty good. Now I just need an area rug to hide where the twins sprayed bleach on the carpet and to continue decorating a little. Still looks a little plain to me...but at least all the big stuff is done!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


Today has been kind of a crappy day. In general, Tuesday's are not great days because of our schedule.

S has speech therapy at 8:15am. Some probably wouldn't see this as bad, however me and my guys are usually still in bed asleep at that time when I don't work. So we have to set the alarm, get up, rush to get ready and out the door we go. Therapy ends at 9:00am and then we have gymnastics at 10am. Well, it's not worth going home because gymnastics is across town, but it also doesn't take us an hour so we are stuck killing time. Last week we went to breakfast and this week we just killed time sitting in the car. I need to figure out something more productive to do, but the problem is we are just talking 30 or so minutes and speech nor gymnastics is really close to anything.

But today was extra crappy because of a damned unexpected expense...yes another one. September has been a really crappy month for my budget.

Yesterday, my sister J was kind enough to watch the twins while I grocery shopped. I took advantage of this opportunity and decided to buy a TON of stuff in hopes that I wouldn't have to shop again for at least 2 weeks. My pantry and freezer were packed full. Well today after nap I notice that someone has left the freezer door cracked open and everything inside is starting to thaw. I shut the door and tried to set the freezer on super cold. The fridge never turned on :( So either the door being open burned the motor, or it was coincidence. Well I tried to wait it out a few hours to see if the motor would kick back didn't. So 7pm I am packing the kids up to head to Walmart to buy one of those small deep freezers to save my $300 of stored food.

Now, maybe you'll remember that I did plan on buying one of these at some point for freezing my breast milk, but of course that would have been when I had the cash, not tonight. I am praying that my freezer is working by tomorrow morning and I don't have to start thinking about a new fridge. This one is only about 6 years old and was one of those friggin expensive it better not be fried!

Monday, September 21, 2009


Yep, that's right. The nursery is finally done. Well as far as paint goes :-) Now I just have everything else to do. Tomorrow I will start putting up the window treatments and some of the wall hangings. My sister is going to come over on Wednesday and help me move some of the furniture around. Maybe by the end of next week I will be able to post some pics of my Little Guy's new room.

It's kind of surreal. With my weight I am thinking I will probably run into some issues near the end of my pregnancy and need to deliver prior to 40 weeks. Since full term is 37 weeks, I figure any time after then is fair game. With me being 27.5 weeks pregnant, that means Max could potentially be here in less than 10 weeks! While this is very exciting, it also makes me realize how unprepared I am!

My biggest problem with getting stuff done right now is my lack of energy and soreness. I did great to get the nursery painted, but now I look at everything else that needs to be done, and I want to go lay down - LOL. My goal is to have the nursery and major things done by 30 weeks. That gives me about 2.5 weeks to work on it!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Fun at the Fair

Today we went to the annual Carousel Festival. We went last year and had a great time, but I was leery of going this time due to my pregnancy and never ending battle with fatigue.

Well when we woke up, the weather was cool and cloudy (PERFECT!) so I decided to suck it up and take the kids. In the end I was glad I did. The kids had such a great time. They got to ride many rides including trains, boats and planes. They both were able to get their faces painting and then have some jumping fun on an inflatable or two. We even got to sample some yummy funnel cake :-)

Just as we got their, the twins also had their hand prints taken for a pottery company to then turn them into personalized plates with reindeer on them. I will try my best to post pics of those when they are ready for pick up.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Cars and How they SUCK

I have always had new cars, which I guess makes me lucky. When I started Nursing School my parents bought me and CRV (which I loved!) and they made the payments until I graduated school. I remember the oil changes and gas, but not so much the maintenance. Maybe it's because I still lived near my parents and my dad did them? Maybe it's because it was a Honda and therefor more reliable? I honestly don't know.

In January 2007 I bought a 2006 Kia Sedona which I have been happy with, but yesterday I finally brought the car in to be looked at. I had a list of issues that needed to be addressed, all of which should have been under warranty. Despite trying very hard to find a day I could go without a car, I couldn't find one, and also had to get a rental for the time the car was in the shop.

So yesterday I dropped it off late afternoon and picked up a rental. This morning I get the dreaded call. The warranty items will be fixed, but of course parts need to be ordered so I actually have to bring the car back for them - ARGH. The problem came when he said that they did a full diagnostics and the following needed to be addressed:!

Tires, alignment, fluid flushing, brakes, transmission service, filters...blah, blah, blah...

Yep...all of that totalling about $900!! HOLY SHIT! My car just has 28,000 miles on it, I figured I had years before big bills like that. I didn't authorize all of it, but the tires and brakes will get done. Filters and Oil Change will be done. And I guess at some point so will the warranty issues I thought I was bringing the car there for.

Like I need that bill right now.

ETA: At 5:33pm I get a call from the dealership. My car is ready. And what time do you think they close...yep...6:00pm. Now I have dinner on the stove and this dealer is located across town. Nice. So I tell a pretty bitchy tone, that I will not be able to pick up the car tonight and that thanks to them waiting until the last minute to call them, I now have an additional day that I need to pay for a car rental. now I get to add $70 in car rental fees to the massive car bill. Shoot me now.

Saturday, September 12, 2009


Or lack there of.

Why is it so elusive during the times you need it most?

I remember this with the twins, although I think it was much later in the pregnancy. The last three nights I went to bed early, or at least for me early which was about 10:30pm. I woke up more tired then when I laid down. The first two nights there was really no reason for it. Last night it was probably the fact that I was sharing my full size bed with two wriggling toddlers.

You know, it's really not fair that your body does this to you. I mean I know in 14 short weeks I will have an infant that wakes me every 2-3 hours anyway, so some say this prepares you for it. But I believe it's this last 14 weeks when you should be able to get the sleep of your life. Store up all that sleep and energy for the months of deprivation that is coming.

Anyway, that's my rant for this evening :) Tomorrow is a busy day. A baby shower that I semi-organized; grocery shopping and maybe, if I'm lucky...a nap!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

99 Days

Yep, that's how many days I have left being pregnant :) I have hit the double digits and I am hoping those 99 days fly by. I doubt they will, but I will keep hoping.

Another great milestone...4 weeks. That's how long it's been since I have been routinely taking my nausea meds. I no longer roll over in the morning and pop a Zofran before I even open my eyes. Instead, 3 or 4 times a week, I take a dose because of some queasiness that comes over me. It's been almost as long since I have vomited and although I never feel 100% as far as nausea is concerned, I feel so much better than I ever thought was possible.

Swelling is better too. I am trying to keep my feet elevated, but also watch the amount of salt in my diet. I'm sooooooo not a salt eater. In fact, I lived in this house for almost a year before I even bought a salt shaker and that was because my mother ordered me to when she came and cooked for Thanksgiving. But man! With this pregnancy, most of what I crave is high salt food. Popcorn, french fries, pickles. Yum!

My SPD still sucks, but quite honestly I know that pain will not go away until shortly after delivery, so I have just learned to suck it up. I'm sure in the next 14 weeks I will start experiencing even more fun pregnancy 'joys' but I'm up for them. As long as this nausea stays away...I am up for anything.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Long Pregnancy Update

So I thought I would give you all an update on where I am with the pregnancy.

I will start with today. I had a follow up US and it showed that my placenta has moved up nicely. This should mean that an attempt at a vaginal delivery should now be possible. We did not reassess the cord entry on this US, but Max is weighing about 1lbs 5oz putting him in the 40th percentile with growth. I am happy with this, as S was always about the 40th while K sat around the 10th. I think Max, like his siblings, will be tall and skinny. I will still get monthly US to assess for growth, but for now, everything looks good.

I also talked to the OB (not mine, she was out sick) about the H1N1 vaccine. This vaccine really scares me as it was produced in a response to panic, not clear thinking. But after talking to her, I think I will break down and get myself vaccinated. By the time it's available, I will be about 30 weeks pregnant which means the likelihood of anything happening to Max from the vaccine is slim. I am still very torn on what to do with the twins.

My nausea is hardly an issue. I mean I do feel a little nauseous most days, but I have only needed to take a Zofran once or twice the past few weeks. I can't believe how good that feels. I still worry a little that it may come back, but overall I am enjoying the relief. Now I wish this fatigue would ease of some and I would be in good shape.

With this pregnancy I am experiencing symptoms I never had with the twins...which is odd since you'd think with two babies, I would experience every symptom. I pee all the time, I already have a hard time sleeping and I feel CONSTANT movement...that last one of course is pretty cool. The one symptoms though, that I wish would go away is swelling. I never swelled up with the twins. This time, by the evening my feet have 3 to 4+ pitting edema and hurt so badly. I swear it feels like my skin is just going to split open. My blood pressure has been checked and is holding at a normal level (118/80 today) so it's not an eclampsia issue...just my luck I guess. At least at work, my shoes seem to keep the fluid from pooling, so I'm not too uncomfortable there.

Here is a pic of my swollen feet, but quite honestly I don't think this picture does it justice

My other issue is SPD (symphysis pubis dysfunction) I developed this with the twins around 26 weeks. When your pregnant your pelvic ligament stretch and separate to accommodate the passage of the baby through the birth canal, well with spd, you have such relaxation, your pubic bone actually separates from itself. Not uncommon with multiples. Well mine was so bad with the twins, they thought I may need PT or even surgery to fix the issue. After the twins I seemed to heal well and except for a little flair when they were about one, I had figured it was healed.

I guess not, since at about 15-17 weeks this time the intense pain started again. It is a constant shooting pain which makes all movement painful and sleeping in a bed unbearable at times. I am hoping again for a quick post partem recovery, but the thought of 16 more weeks of this is daunting at times.

So, anyway, despite the spd and the swelling, this pregnancy is tolerable. I'm still not one of those glowing, happy, celebrating the miracle of life pregnant women, but I am happier than I was at this point with the twins. I am appreciating the cooler weather (yeah 70's!) and with school starting up and talk of upcoming events and holidays, I am hoping the next 16 weeks fly by :)

Here is a 24 belly shot just for fun. Keep in mind I hate pics of myself, so you all are very lucky :P

Monday, August 31, 2009

They Figure Out Manipulation Early

Today while watching TV, K was sitting naked on the couch and S was doing something around the couch. Well he must have done 'something' because K ended up hitting him in the face with a doll. S of course immediately started crying and ran into my arms. I told K that what she did wasn't nice and that she needed to say sorry.

Well while I am comforting S, K starts to get more visibly upset that she was yelled at. While she didn't start crying, she did her dramatic clenched fists and shaking/quivering with anger that she has recently learned to do. Well after a few minutes of that, S became concerned with K. He went over to her, asked her if she was okay but she wouldn't answer. He then assumed that because she was shaking, she must be cold. He went and got her clothes and a blanket and soothed her until she was smiling again.

Interesting...K does something a little evil, like pummel her brother with a doll, and in the end, she is the one being taken care of and comforted...Interesting.

Sunday, August 30, 2009


Yep, that big evil word has re-entered my life. After deciding to take a break from my daily injections from MS (around 12 weeks) I have decided to restart this past Friday.

I decided way back when to stop the injections because pregnancy, for whatever reason, seems to put MS into remission. While initially I was just going to continue with the meds through out the pregnancy, I decided to take advantage of this protection and give my poor skin a break.

For those who don't take this med, it causes intense stinging for about 15 minutes after the injection followed by welts, redness, itchiness, bruising and hardness for weeks to months after the shot. So...needless to say...I needed a little break.

While pregnancy seems to stop MS, about 60-80% of women have a flair within 6 months of the post partem period. So, this is my rationalization for restarting the drug at 24 weeks. Although there are no studies to support my thinking, I believe that by restarting the med, and allowing myself a good 12-16 weeks to have it back in my system, I should avoid the post-pregnancy flair. I am lucky in the fact that Copaxone is the only category B MS drug and the only one where it is not strongly advised to stop during pregnancy. Here's to hoping my little theory is correct!

Breast Pump - Check

So I made $332 from the consignment sale this week and once the club took it's percent, I brought home $299.25. Not too shabby :) At first I was going to wait a few weeks to purchase my pump, but when I was going through my mail I found a Babies R Us flyer. There were a few coupons so I decided to go ahead.

I bought a Medela Pump in Style Advance (279.99) and $40 worth of accessories (bags, bottles) and my total, after tax and coupons was $288. Pretty good deal. So, that's one big item more to go.

I still want my Britax Boulevard. There is a great site where you can get them for $259.99 plus free shipping brand new! So although I won't need it right away, Max will use an infant seat for a little while, I need to take advantage of that offer. I have about $200 in pending Ebay sales so as soon as that money comes in, the car seat will be purchased.

Yipee! It feels so good getting these big things out of the way and with money I don't really have to take out of my budget. The only other 'big' thing I have thought that I might need is a small deep freezer. If my attempts at pumping and storing are as successful as I hope, then I will probably need one to store my milk. I will continue to think about this one :)

Friday, August 28, 2009


That is how much our consignment sale has made in the last two days. Pretty awesome huh? I have been beyond busy...every night at the church...organizing clothes and such, but hopefully the pay off will be there (come on breast pump or car seat).

I got some cute clothes for K and Max. Sadly there isn't much in term of older boy clothes because we have very few boy multiples in our club. I also got a great collection of Medela Breast Milk Bags - New - and some containers for freezing breast milk.

Tomorrow is our last day. Everything is half price so I intend to do a little more shopping :) Then a Birthday party, break down and writing all those darn checks. So I will continue to be busy through the weekend, but at least it all wasn't for nothing.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Twin Update

Today the twins had a dental appointment. Well I think that S has my crummy teeth :( He, despite having all his molars sealed, developed two cavities on them. He also has a tooth defect in another tooth, but this doesn't require treatment. So in 2 weeks we head back for two cavities. K, who has the same brushing schedule, her teeth are perfect with no problems. Just goes to show you sometimes that the brushing sometimes has very little to do with the outcome.
The twins were actually in a pretty good mood today. K, who is turning into quite the princess, wanted her hair braided last night so that it would be 'curly' today. At the dentist, for her prize, she got a princess set so when we got home she was princess K. She even struck a pose when I brought the camera out.

S was being pretty funny too. For a few months now he does this combination cowboy-bob the builder kind of get-up. He gets his fanny pack on, loads all his tools in his belt and puts on a cowboy hat. I finally got a picture of it today. And let me just say that there has been more then one occasion of grocery shopping at Walmart with my son looking like this.

And for some reason...again...S peed in my bed during nap (that 4 bed changes in 24 hours for those who are counting). He has never done this and I made sure he went to the potty before we laid down. I guess we will start with pull-ups again for nap, but it's kind of a pain!

This week will be a busy one. It's the week of my multiples group's consignment sale. Wednesday through Saturday of non-stop fun :) Ah well, hopefully I'll make enough cash for Max's car seat or breast pump...or maybe can I wish both :)

Monday, August 24, 2009


So today sucked for a few reasons....

I will start with the positive though and say that I am feeling good again. And based on what I will say in a minute, I believe my feeling crappy this weekend was actually an illness vs pregnancy kicking my butt again. I went all day today without meds and my energy level was pretty good again!

I will also add another positive and say that today I tackled my computer desk. I have a very large L-Shaped desk which is always piled high with crap. Well after working at it ALL DAY LONG, the top hutch is clear of everything and the desk itself has very little clutter - YEAH!

Now onto the sucky...

This morning I woke up to K throwing up in my bed :( Not good. This of course is why I think I was sick over the weekend. K threw up again once more later in the afternoon, again in my bed while napping. So, so far that's two whole bed changes. A third was later added when after said Nap it turned out that S peed the bed, which he hasn't done during nap since way back in February or March.

My mom decided today was the day to tell me that I didn't keep my house clean enough or pay enough attention to my kids...WTF! She said that I either spend the day on the couch or the computer and needed to spend my down time cleaning or playing with the kids. I wanted to rip her apart. Like I haven't already posted here about how guilty I feel about my ability to parent my children with as shitty as I have been feeling. I tried to explain to her that being pregnant, with hyperemesis and MS meant that I had no energy. That I literally sometimes spent time on the computer so that I wouldn't fall asleep; that when I had down time...I was literally so tired that there was nothing I could do but lie on the couch. She also said the way the kids get themselves dressed and get themselves snacks in the kitchen meant I was letting them run wild. Um, what is wrong with encouraging Independence in my children? When the baby gets here those abilities will be crucial as when I am breast feeding to dealing with an infant, I won't be able to drop everything to get the twins a slice of cheese. Whatever....she has no clue.

Then my patience with N has hit it's limit. As much as I complain here I never actually vent to her at all. I have never blown up at her or told her how I felt, which if you knew me IRL you would be amazed as I generally tell people at some time or another exactly what I think. Well I hot my breaking point when my mom, as one of her points, said that N was once again complaining that she has to do everything around here....Um BULLSHIT! N does do many things around this house, I will give her credit for that, but she has never ONCE been asked to do any of it. In fact many times she has been told not to do it...well I am done. I told her tonight not to touch a damn thing in my house. Don't touch my dishes, my laundry, the vacuum, NOTHING! I don't want to hear it anymore. N loves to play the victim and thus far I have ignored it, but no more. She can do for herself and nothing more...I don't want to give her anymore fuel for her fire. I am done. She tried to deny it for a minute but when I told her the people who had told me about her complaining, she shut up immediately. I think she forgets that all her contacts are my friends and there for inform me of her bullshit.

Yes, I'm sure being pregnant didn't make today any better, but I just can't handle these people in my life right now!

Sunday, August 23, 2009


Today I had an event with my multiples group. I still didn't feel great, but definitely better than yesterday. I actually had a pretty decent time and since I was a pregnant mom, I got a gift bag with lots of cool stuff and discount offers. I might have to take advantage of one or two of them.

My parents also arrived from their three week holiday in Florida. Thank Goodness! I'm not sure if I had mentioned it here, but I had their 2 dogs for those three weeks and I HATE their dogs LOL. They are yappy and whiny and drive me crazy. I couldn't wait until my parents got back!
In exchange for watching their dogs, my mom and dad did a bunch of furniture moving and switching for me that I obviously couldn't do. Now my guest room...soon to be ready for a fresh coat of paint and it's makeover into Max's new room :) I feel so behind as I had everything ready by now with the twins and this time I am Lolly-gagging. It's true what they say about moms just not being as on the ball for subsequent pregnancies. There is just too much else to do. I am getting excited about decorating and putting together Max's nursery. I think things will seem a lot more real when that happens :)

Saturday, August 22, 2009

A Very Good Week

But a crappy today.

I spent most of last week med free. A few times I had to take something half way through the day, but overall did very well. My energy level was even up a bit even though my mood and hormones were through the roof.

But this morning. Eck. I woke up exhausted. I threw up while getting the kids breakfast before I could even have one bit to eat. I spent the morning on the flooor watching TV with the kids, followed by a long afternoon nap.

When I woke up...there is was. A migraine. Continued to feel nauseous throughout the day, and even had to pull myself together for a birthday party at the pool this evening. Eck.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Next Year is Going to be a Big Year

That is what I have decided. There are certain things in my life that need to change and most cannot be addressed right at this very moment while pregnant.

1.) I will start to lose weight again. I need to get healthy. I lost almost 90lbs 2 years ago, so I know I can do it, I just need to do it. I also need to realize how much my emotions play a part in my eating. For example after I was diagnosed with MS, I gained it all back. With a new baby, 2 active toddlers and my plan to breastfeed, I think if I really put my mind to it, it won't be that bad.

2.) I need to downsize. This includes getting debt free, clearing the house of clutter and living more simply. The kids have more toys then any children need and are spoiled rotten. This will change.

3.) I need to become financially independent from N. I just can't stand her anymore. She drives me crazy and most of my stress and anxiety comes from her. I can't do it anymore. By January 2011 I need to have her gone. I know this also means I will have to return to work full time, but honestly, this was going to happen sooner or later. Better to do it on my terms.

4.) Once I accomplish 2 and 3, I will sell this house and move to another, smaller home. The mortgage her is really what keeps me dependant on N. If I can significantly reduce it, I should be okay.

Without N and a huge mortgage I believe my stress level will significantly be reduced and will make things better for all. If I could swing it now, N would be in a Nursing Home tomorrow. Yes, I know this sounds harsh, but unless you live in this home and know what kind of woman she is, you wouldn't understand. Trust me.

So here's to 2010...the year of change!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Sometimes I Hate People

I imagine part of my frustration comes from being pregnant, hormonal and constantly tired, but sheesh. People are just pissing me off left and right.

Co-workers who try to do the bare minimum and then act all innocent when called on it. Ones who try to get themselves a little extra time off, which you approve and then you turn around and they took way more then agreed upon. People who just flat out ignore the 'rules' and then act offended when you correct them.

Being the head of two local mommy boards isn't any better. I guess I should know better; is it possible to have groups of women together in fairly large numbers and not have the catty bitching and back stabbing? Is it too much for someone to be able to state an opinion without someone else taking that opinion personally and throwing a HUGE hissy fit. And then god forbid I take a side that isn't yours...that obviously means I'm as evil as the rest of them.

I should have taken the advice of some people and ditched all my extra commitments when I got pregnant. No local Mommy's board, no extra jobs at work, no responsibilities with my multiples group. Heck maybe I should have just boarded the windows and stopped leaving the house all together...but then of course that would lock me in with N and I could post for hours about how she is bugging the ever living shit out of me.

It's times like this when I remember why I chose to be a SMBC. I don't like being around people all the time. I do enjoy solitude. And especially when I feel like crap...I want to be alone. Too bad I have three year old twins who have to be touching me 24/7 and a demented old woman who has to be in my business. Ah...I think I need a weekend away.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

I Knew Something Was Up

While laying in bed, having a nap with K & S, I thought that K felt awful hot. Sometimes its hard to tell as when they sleep I swear they turn into little ovens, but this felt different. I chose to try and ignore it and fell asleep.

Well, a mother should always trust her gut because when we all wok up K started saying her tummy hurt and then...Blech. Vomit.

I wonder how long before she stops. A tummy bug in this house always seems to have a very short life span - like 6-8 hours, but isn't usually accompanied by a fever. I also wonder how long before S gets it. Tomorrow morning I have an OB apt, which I was going to take them to, but now I probably need to work on a sitter.

Oh and I had gone the whole day without any meds, the whole day that is until the vomit. Of course dealing with that clean up immediately sent my stomach into a tail spin and I popped some Zofran. But all in all, still doing pretty good I think :-)

ETA: Its about 2 hours later and K already seems better. Has had apple juice, a popsicle and some noodles. She's even got her energy back. Yeah for quick illness'!!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Day #2

I woke up this morning and decided to tempt fate again :o) I didn't take my Zofran. I felt a little queasy but ate breakfast and felt good. We did a bunch of running around this morning and I was fine! When I got home and ate lunch I did start to feel a little worse, so I went ahead and took the Zofran.

This is great! Before I would go from bad to worse as far as the nausea but now I seem to start out okay and maybe only need my meds in the afternoon? IDK but I think I will continue to try not taking the Zofran in the morning and see how it goes. I am a little leery of proclaiming that I am getting better. When I was pregnant with the twins from about 22 to 26 weeks I had a break from the nausea, but then it came back full force. Trying to stay positive though and hope this decrease in nausea is going to last until the end...and who knows...maybe even continue to get better :o)

This afternoon after the kids napped we went to Babies R Us and registered for Max. I was a little leery of starting a registry. After all I have been told by some that I do not get another shower because this is my second pregnancy. But then I have also been pressured by others to get a registry going and several offers to host a shower for me. So, either way, I now have a simple registry. Mostly breastfeeding and pumping supplies; some basic things for baby; and one or two equipment requests. Overall a very basic, down to earth registry...I think :)

Friday, August 14, 2009

I Hope This is A Good Sign!

So on my way to work this morning, I realized I forgot to take my Zofran!! (my nausea med) I have been on Zofran daily since about 5 weeks pregnant and have never forgotten a dose. I was really scared at how I would feel.

I went to work and actually felt okay. I did get a little queasy when I ate lunch, but never felt like I was going to vomit. I am pleasantly surprised. Maybe I am turning a corner :o) Now I'm too chicken to try this too often, but maybe on days I don't work, I can try and see if I can avoid the meds.

Also, after putting in all those extra hours at work on Monday at meetings, there was a surplus of nurses today at work, so I was sent home at 11:45am vs 3:30pm.

A Very Good Day!!

And tomorrow will be another shopping day...hopefully will be fun. I am also going to finally print up the photos from the twins last two photo sessions. I really need to start organizing my life because in about 4 months I don't think I'll have much time :)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

OMG...I Totally Forgot to Post!

As of Monday afternoon, I no longer am the owner of my donor vials. They were shipped to family one. I hope they have quick success with them and are able to add to their family (as you might remember they already have two children by this donor). Still bittersweet. I'm a little sad and it is tough not to think about it...but it's done. No turning back.

Slacking Off...

So this morning on my way to work it hit me...I didn't take one stinking picture of my grandparents visit. None. We only see them about twice a year and I always try to get some good shots all of them but this time, nothing. I am going to blame it on being pregnant and not really thinking about too much else other than making it through the day.

And a little update on a previous post. I am starting to relax a little and feel more connected to Max. I am still a little upset that he's a boy, but making good progress :) I will tell you what seems like I am one of the few whose expecting a boy and it's still hard not to get a little jealous.

I belong to two due date clubs. One of them, there are 24 moms. Of the 24, 16 are having girls. In my local due date club there are 8 moms. 6 of them are having girls. So, out of 32 babies being born in December, only 10 of them are boys.

Okay...yes I know, shut up. I am having what appears to be a healthy baby boy and yet all I can seem to do is bitch. I promise, I am happy with my son and once he is here, there will be absolutely no thoughts of a girl. I have so much more then many women get, but remember, I use this blog to vent, to let out some of my darkest feelings that most of the real world never hears. So while I am more then happy with what I am getting, let me have my small moments to whine :)

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Good Day

A nice day with family. Slept in until 8:30ish. Hung around the house most of the day. Went out for dinner. Exactly what I needed. A pretty low key day with everyone. Grandparents even took N out for a few hours - bonus.

Oh and I totally forgot to post but I am entering my second term as the President of my multiples group. I got re-elected last night :D I am also super excited because I was able to get rid of some of my other roles. So while I still have a lot of responsibility, I have a lot less busy work.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Why Does Everything Happen at Once?

This week is going to be a crazy week.

It was going to be a crazy week about 4 weeks ago when I was scheduled to be at work all five days (I know, I know...5 days...big deal.)

It was going to be even crazier when I realized that my first meeting of the membership year for my multiples group was this week and that as President I needed to organize and plan everything.

It was going to be unbearable when I got stuck watching my parents two dogs (add in my dog and you have three) for three weeks and this was one of the weeks.

And finally, it was over the top when my grandparents decided they were choosing this week to visit.


So my grandparents got here today at about noon. I was at work, participating in mind numbing meetings until 3p. I was able to run home...spend some quality time with them, and then turn around a few hours later and head to my multiples meeting. I felt guilty as hell spending the majority of the day out of the house...and the house wasn't as clean as I would like...and did I mention that my grandparents hate dogs.

Ah well, whatcha going to do....oh and bonus!! Work just called...I have the day off tomorrow!

Saturday, August 8, 2009

How Cool!

Tonight while I was lying in bed, I felt Max kick like never before. I have felt him off and on since about 13 weeks. But until now, it's been a single thump or little fleeting feeling. But tonight it was the real thing. He must have had a bunch of energy because it was constant for about 15 minutes.

I could just barely feel it on the outside of my body, so while I really wanted the twins to experience it, I think at this point they wouldn't really get it. In a few more weeks I think Max will definitely have the power to produce kicks with enough strength that S & K will really get to feel him.

I wonder what they will think about that :)

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Farking Migraines!

I had a migraine from hell today.

It started at work and by the time I got home I was in misery. I was able to convince the twins to lay down with me for an hour but that didn't seem to help. I spent the evening on the couch. And, just my luck, as it was time for me to go to bed, the migraine left and I lost my desire to sleep.

I need to not only figure out why I'm getting all these migraines, but also the best way to treat them. I really don't get it, as when I was pregnant with the twins, I didn't have a single headache for the entire 36 weeks and this time I am getting them worse then ever...constantly.

Blog Archive

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed


How Crazy Can One Woman Be? Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved Baby Blog Designed by Ipietoon | All Image Presented by Online Journal

This template is brought to you by : | Blogger Templates