I Found My Parenting Achilles Heel

Reading...or I should say, learning to read. It stresses me out. I don't know how to deal with it. It sounds stupid to say that, but seriously, I can't do it.

I hate that I respond the way I do. I try to go into it differently. I try to remind myself of how hard this is, but in the end, often the twins and I are left in tears.

I think part of it is I never had to 'learn' to read. By three I was reading books and I was never taught. My moms said it was like I just figured it out on my own. And so when we go over reading words over and over and then 10 minutes later they have forgotten everything we did, I stress.

I need to figure out how to deal though. I do not want my kids to stress about reading or dread it because of how it all goes down. Tonight I had my sister do the reading with them and it went much better. I may need to look into paying someone else to do it though, when my sister isn't here. That will be another great financial stress...sigh.

So, I feel horrible. I feel like I am failing my kids. I need to get a handle on this though...or sacrifice some bill to pay for the private tutor.