Background on me :)

So I always hate it when people start blogs and then include a little story on how they got to the point of starting a blog. I have many friends who blog and thought it would be a great place to write about my thoughts and feelings in this crazy thing I call life.

I will start my blog by giving a brief history of the last few years. Kind of a quick glimse into my past and maybe some insight into how I got here.

In my early 20's I decided it was time to start my family. I had a job, a house and financial security. Since I was a teen I never saw myself as married and always had the plan that I would use a sperm donor to create my family. When I first tried to start my family I went the adoption route. After jumping through all the hoops I took my son, Z, home from the hospital at 2 days old. He was the love of my life! I felt for the first time a sense of happiness and belonging. Sadly one week before his termination was set (6 months) his bio family changed their mind and actually signed him over to another couple. My heart was torn in two and I never thought I would go on.

I decided shortly after I had to be a mom and adoption was not for me, so I turned to TTC using my first plan, donor sperm. I inseminated myself at home. No docs, no meds, just me in my own bed, monitoring my cycles with OPK's. On my third attempt - after horrible timing - I got pregnant. I was shocked to realize 11 weeks later there were two!! After a horrible pregnancy with hyperemesis gravidum I delivered my son and daughter at 36 weeks. They both were completely healthy and came home with me two days later.

My life has been a wonderful blur since. There is nothing that makes me happier then my life with them. Initially after the pregnancy I experienced I decided they would be my only two. Well when they were 10 months I was able to buy ten more vials of their donor. Thats when my plan for #3 hatched.

I decided I wanted them three years apart, so I planned on TTC again in May 2008. I had everything planned and started charting the September before. Then in January I woke up with numbness in my arm and hand. Many weeks and tests later it was discovered that I have Multiple Sclerosis. It was a devastating diagnosis and derailed my TTC plans.

I need to now wait to determine what type of MS I have, and how well I respond to the meds. My neuro wants me to wait until January 2010, but I have agreed to wait until January 2009. If everything is status quo, I believe I will start TTC my third child at that time.

Of course I am nervous considering I will be the sole provider and caretaker for my children and now with a diagnosis like MS that puts some question to my abilities. I have done tons of research and it appears that while though I may be setting myself up for some unique challenges, it does not seem like this needs to put my dreams to an end.

So basically this will be my blog. My crazy life with K&S, working, dealing with my MS and my continued want and concern for my next journey - TTC baby number three :)