I Want to Hurt N

Back Story...

When the twins were one I made them each a small quilt with squares from memorable outfits from their first year. While K liked hers, but never really carried it around, S became super attached to his and it became his 'onnie'. He has carried that thing around from the age of one to present day. He sleeps with it, he plays with it and there is a fight every time we leave the house about how onnie needs to stay home. S even refers to it as 'he'. Like as in 'onnie needs to come in the car or he will get lonely'.

Well needless to say, this onnie is not in great shape. It's no longer the vibrant blue and other colors it was, it has many stains, rips and holes, but to me this is what gives it it's personality and what makes it all the more special to him. The blanket shows the love it has received.

Today, while at the hospital with K, N felt it was necessary to take the blanket apart so that she should crochet a new cover to it. WTF!!?? S's special onnie and she destroys it?? Something sentimental and special to both S and I and she takes it apart!! I am so livid. I almost started to cry. I just looked at her and said 'its not his onnie anymore. You should have asked me before touching it' and I walked away. I haven't said another word to her tonight because I can't. If she wanted to crochet something for S, fine, but don't involve the old one.

This is a perfect example of why it's hard to live with N. This has nothing to do with her dementia. This is her personality. Her way is the better way and she spends most of her time changing things when I'm not looking to fit her way. She saw a ratty blanket and took it upon herself to mess with it. She would never for a second think of talking to me about it first.

I'm sure the anger will fade, but right now I am just trying to figure out a way to save S's onnie :0(