About how I had difficulty making close friends. Well today is a perfect example of why I avoid trying.
I have a friend N who shares many of the same mental health issues I do (depression and anxiety). She is a super sweet person and our kids get along great. About a month ago she started to isolate herself and did some things that really worried me. I asked her husband about her and how she was doing because I was so concerned. I later found out that about this same time, her and her husband were going through a messy separation.
Fast forward to this past week. I have tried to get a hold of her several times without luck. I finally sent her a message and asked if something was wrong. Her response was simple. She is mad at me because I spoke to her husband about her mental state. I have begged her to call me so that we can talk but so far nothing. I have been in near tears all day.
Now, I have no idea what her husband told her. According to her, he can be very verbally abusive and hateful so I have a suspicion that what he told her is very exaggerated and possible even completely wrong. I cannot get a hold of her to explain to her my feelings of concern, and my version of what was said. She has been ignoring me for about a week so it's not like I can even say that she needs to cool down before she will talk to me.
So, I put myself out there and try to develop a relationship and this is what happens. I feel like I have failed yet again. I might as well just accept that I will never have anything more than a casual relationship with someone. Now tomorrow we are both supposed to be at a birthday party. If she continues to ignore me I won't be going. N has been friends with the family much longer than I have, and it wouldn't be fair to them for us to bring our awkwardness into their son's first birthday party.
I am really hoping I hear back from her tonight. I would love to work on this because I do think we had a good relationship. I realize I probably shouldn't have asked her husband about how things were going, but it was truly done with only love and concern.
***UPDATE***
So after emailing her once more explaining to her how important her friendship was to me; requesting that she just call/text/email me; and sitting on FB with her logged in for about 2hours while I was also logged in (perfect time for her to chat) she has completely ignored my requests. I guess Max and I will stay home in the morning. Add another failed friendship to the list; reinforce my feelings of isolation & loneliness and go to bed feeling sorry for myself.
Happy Monday to all.
April 2022
2 years ago
1 comments on "Remember My Post...."
That is just CRAP. Sorry, but there is just nothing nice to say about that. You were trying to be thoughtful and kind. SHe should at least give you a chance to explain your perspective....
I am so sorry that yiou have to deal with this. You deserve better... :(
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