I usually think I am someone who is strong. I am a single mom with three young children and most days I do a pretty good job at it; I am resilient and stand up for myself; I have made it through some very difficult times and for the most part, became a better person for it.
So why...lately...do I feel weak?
Right now the main focus in life is a certification exam I am taking next Monday. So much is riding on this. Money, career, pride, and how my supervisors and colleagues will see me. I have been studying for this exam and as the test day gets closer, I get more and more doubtful of my ability to pass. I have broken down into tears feeling that the last 10 years have been for nothing. And, instead of really focusing on the material, all I can think about it how I am going to tell my supervisors that I failed. Sigh...
To make me feel worse, I have friends dealing with so much more and they are handling it with such grace.
J, who is adopting a special needs boy from Russia, has been battling uphill for weeks now. She has already had so many challenges, and yet she stays strong and just focuses on the end result.
J, who lost her precious J this May, and who was recently matched with a baby to adopt, found out yesterday that the birth mother has changed her mind. The baby was due any day. I spoke to J today and she is so calm about it, so peaceful knowing that there are greater plans in store for her. I wanted to crumble for her, but she is using her strength to move onto plan B or C or heck maybe D.
There have been a multitude of co-workers who have lost family members the last few weeks. Mothers, Grandmothers...Sisters. They are all handling it with such grace.
So, while I'm sure many of these people have their moments of weakness and vulnerability behind closed doors, their projection of strength is inspiring.
April 2022
1 year ago
2 comments on "Strength"
Well, I have a newsflash for you....
I see the strength in YOU that you do NOT seem to see. Your ability to ALWAYS be there to support your friend is a huge pillar of strength. Trust me when I say that there are very few people who have the courage/strength to do that even when so many others are choosing to turn away...
You are your own light. Our vulnerabilities are what make us stronger and you are stronger than you think. Hang in there dear friend. You CAN ace this test. I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!
You can do this. That nervousness and self-doubt is so normal when you're facing a professional exam. But, you are thoughtful and intelligent. It's not strength that's going to get you through this but calmness and confidence. You CAN do this.
I've taken numerous professional exams. Breathe, starting now, breathe, breathe during the exam.
More unsolicited advice: Take your time but attend to the clock. Don't let the clock rule your time but use it to pace yourself.
Do not second guess yourself on an answer unless you find proof of an alternate answer on the exam. EVER.
Try to rule out a choice or two on multiple choice questions.
It's usually ok to guess on these exams but you can find out ahead of time if there are penalties.
Have a default answer for multiple choice in case you don't know and don't have a good guess. You could always choose a, b, c, etc. What this does is lets you get through a question you don't know. You usually have a 25% chance of getting it right by doing this.
Written answers: answer the question. Sounds simple, right? But, so many people trip up by not answering the question but by spouting information. Usually written answers will be hunting for application. It's even ok to say on an answer that you're not sure about the information but that you know where to find it and then proceed.
Sorry for the advice but I hope some of it helps.
You CAN do this!
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