Double Standards

As a single mother by choice, I am expected to be able to fully care for any child I bring into this world. I must be able to financially, physically and emotional care for and nurture my child(ren) until they are self sufficient. If I so chose to have a child without being able to meet these criteria, then huge judgment is placed upon my decision, and it is seen as a selfish and irresponsible.

So...why can married couples skip all the above requirements and seem to so rarely face any judgment?

I know a couple who practise a movement known as being quiverfull. They basically refuse to use any form of birth control and allow "God" to bless them with all the children they can have. I have no problem with this movement...if you can provide for all these 'blessings' bestoyed upon you. This couple is constantly struggling financially. They receive not only WIC but also foodstamps. The husband treats the wife like property and if you ask me, some stories I have heard make him sound borderline abusive.

I found out today that they are expecting again. They are in their early 20's and this will be their 4th pregnancy. I'm sure they have receive nothing but "congratulations!" and "how exciting!" but why? Why is it okay for them to burden our system? Require tax payers to pay for their choices?

Believe me, I am not saying that government, doctors or any other person should be able to control the reproductive rights of any individual, but when will people see that pregnancy and reproduction is not a right...it's a responsibility.

So, yes. This post in a way is about jealously. I want more than anything to have a fourth child. It kills me every time I try to convince myself that my family is complete and I need to move on. The only thing keeping me from having a fourth is the financial responsibility that I need to consider. There are times I struggle with three children financially and a fourth could make things worse. Right now I rely on no aid or assistance from anyone, but adding a fourth could change that. So I, sacrifice and tell myself that I have to give up on the dream of a fourth child...but all the while looking around at people in the same or worse situation that I am in having no problem continuing to add to their family.

I guess I'm not sure what I want. Do I want more people to consider their ability to care for a child in all aspects before getting pregnant...or do I wish I didn't care and had another child knowing the state would pick up where I can't?