GULP...

So guess what I did today...

I took the plunge and filled out the Foster Parent Interest form and will send it off in the morning. Gulp. I am hoping that they won't turn me down. I have two concerns. First being the fact that I am already the single mom to three children and the second being that we didn't leave on such good terms about 6 years ago.

This is the same agency that screwed me over, and removed my son Zach from my care, turned him over to his dysfunctional parents who then gave him away to someone else. DSS never blinked an eye. Six years ago maybe enough time for them to have forgiven the anger and resentment I shared with them, or maybe not.

Part of me is very nervous. Another child. And not only just another child, but another child with all the aggravation and red tape of a foster to adopt child. Pregnancy almost seems like it would be the lesser of the evils. Maybe I should just go ahead and TTC again. With me, if history repeats, I would most likely be guaranteed a child with TTC. But then there is the thing about really wanting another daughter...which would be a total gamble. So, adoption would really be the best way to go...no repeated cycles of TTC...no 40 weeks of misery...and the ability to limit my requests to a girl.

Even if my request is processed and I can be certified, there is 10 weeks of classes, a home study, backround check, etc, etc. so this is months to a year away. A lot can happen in that time.

I really wish that someone I kind of knew was looking for a good home for their unborn daughter...that would make things so much easier and quicker...but of course nothing is ever too easy for me ;0)