I have a friend who has been extremely helpful to me when it comes to N. This friend, G, used to work with me and she was always been very good to me. She is in her mid 60's and have kind of taken on a grandma role with the kids. Every Sunday she comes to the house and picks up N to take her to church and then lunch. It's very nice as it gives me every Sunday from about 9a to 2p without N here. It's also great for N to get out of the house and be with people her own age. I do know however, that being the way N is, she often goes on and on to G about things that bug her. These are all things that are easily solvable and often things that N encourages, but then likes to complain to other people to look like the 'victim'. I have posted before about how N likes people to feel sorry for her, but does nothing to change it. For the most part I think G gets that this is just a personality thing and that N is not really as 'persecuted' as she likes to make others think. Well yesterday I get this email...
"I'm concerned about N still coughing after two months. I know you are busy
with work and 3 kids, so I'll be glad to take her to the doctor, I just don't
know who to call and make her an appointment."
Well, the whole house has been sick since September. I myself coughed constantly from September to January. Her statement about being busy kind if irks me because she knows that while I may be busy, I get everything I need to done. I makes me think like she is saying that I am ignoring N and her needs. Also, N did see a doc in December and nothing was prescribed. On top of that, while N does have a cough, it is transient and really not bad at all. I would say it is mild in severity. I wrote an email back explaining all the above, therefore N didn't need to see a doctor.
So then today this is the email response
" I understand--it was just because she is 85 that I was concerned. You know how fast that age can go downhill. "
Yes, I absolutely know, I am a nurse. I kind of feel like she is insinuating that I can not, or chose not to take care of her as needed. Um, she rarely coughs, her activity is at baseline and she seems fine,; she actually is better now then before so I have no reason to believe that she isn’t on the upswing of what she had.
Am I being overly sensitive? I guess it’s because I have no idea what N is telling her at church. Maybe she tells G that she coughs all the time and I won’t take her to the doctor. IDK. I just feel like this is kind of my business and she needs to butt out
2 comments on "What Would You Do?"
eh, i kinda of see it both ways. Im sure G is aware of some of the challenges that N presents so she may have really just wanted to help ease that load a little. I think her choice of words could have been different than saying you are too busy though. As for her response, it could just be clarification as to way she questioned it in the first place. Since she knows you are a nurse, i doubt she is shaking a finger at you reminding you how quickly they can go downhill. Now if she continues to push the issue, i would bring up your misgivings about her emails and firmly decline her offer again. sometimes i hate email, texts, anything typed because its all subject to interpretation. I dont think you are being overly sensitive though i would give her the benefit of the doubt (which is easy for me since i dont know them).
-C
Well, having met N, I can only imagine what she said about you...:( I would be firm in what I said and state again that she is getting better and that you DO watch her like you watch your kids, but thanks for the concern. Sometimes, it sucks that people get all into your business.
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