Monday, January 31, 2011

I'm so Frustrated


I have been researching and looking more into different options regarding adoption. The more I look, the sadder I am. I am angry at how adoption has become a money driven business. I am angry at how many people have their hands in the pot and are trying to make money off the desperation of eager parents. I am angry, that as I look more and more into this world, the more clear it is, that adoption is becoming something that is only open to 'elite' parents. Women, men, couples who are able to pay crazy amounts of money so they may take home a child they so desperately want. It's not fair.

I am a lucky one. I want to adopt more than anything. I have always been driven to adopt. I have wanted to adopt most my life, and had my first adoption attempt worked, I may never has turned to pregnancy as a way to grow my family. But sadly, it is becoming more and more apparent that adoption is not something that is available to me. I am not wealthy, and cannot raise/save/earn enough money to pay for agencies, lawyers, birth mothers, other misc fees. I can give a child a good home with lots of love and support but that's not important. But even if adoption never works for me, I am still one of the lucky ones. I am able, and have conceived three great kids. That is much more than many other women can say.

I am angry and frustrated for myself, but more so for the couples who are infertile and cannot turn to adoption due to costs. It is horribly unfair that people who cannot get pregnant on their own, are also turned away from the possibility of adoption due to money. How is that right? How is it that we have allowed something as awesome as adoption turn into a cash cow for certain people. Why can lawyers charge many thousands of dollars to draw up contracts and paper work? Why can agencies charge huge fees just to find you a baby? Why can birth mothers ask for unreasonable financial assistance with the high risk of them changing their minds in the end?

There needs to be some major reform in adoption. We need to set maximum fees for agencies, lawyers and BM assistance. We need to change it so that couples from all walks of life, who can prove their ability to care for a child, can indeed get one. There should be no one who is kept from the joy, reward, love (and of course chaos) of parenting just because they can't afford it. Adoption just has to change....not for me...but for the childless couples who have no other alternatives

but if I benefit from it too, well that would be nice

1 comments on "I'm so Frustrated"

tripntwinmom on January 31, 2011 at 6:42 PM said...

I agree with you...

I have seen this so much. I too suffer with these limitations. My "son" is unwanted and sitting in am orphanage waiting while I struggle to get up the astronomical funds that I am told are needed to complete my adoption to bring him "home" to the family that wants to shower him with love and affection so badly....But, he continues to sit alone while we work and work to get to him....

(((HUGS)))) I KNOW that your house would be an awesome place for a child. LOTS of love and nurturing. $$ should NEVER be the deciding factor... :(

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