A Difficult Week

This last week was a tough one. I felt like I was emotionally sucked dry by Wednesday and I still had two 12h shifts to get through.

The week started off with a bang - working 10 hours on Sunday and then 6 hours of meetings on Monday. Monday night was extremely difficult for me. I had a dinner with the moms of multiples group. This group used to be a great source of support for me. I used to have good friends in this group. I don't feel that way anymore. I feel like I have been shut out. Two people who I thought were friends didn't say one word to me the entire meal. Nothing. I spent the meal fighting back the tears that started flowing on my way home.

I also question my involvement in the club. I served as president for two years and served many other roles during that time. During that time I communicated constantly with the group. I always checked with the VP before making any decisions. We probably spoke at least every other day. Well we switched positions, I am now the VP and she's the Pres. Do I hear anything - nope. When do I find out about events...the same time the rest of the club does, with an email or newsletter. Plans and events being made without any my consideration. Several times after everything is announced I question something about it and I can tell from the repsonse that I am being seen as a pain. Well ya know what...if I could have been part of the discussion during the planning, I wouldn't have to say anything once it's been implemented.

I pretty much stayed to myself Tuesday and then Wednesday hit. When I went to go pick up the twins from school I could hear water gushing in my yard. I went to look and sure enough my pump had broken again. Some may remember I had to have it repaired in December and since it broke again I was certain I would have to replace the whole thing. Money is so freaking tight right now with everything going on and I just sat there looking at all this water and thinking where am I supposed to come up with $1000-$2000. Again...tears.

We went to the circus that night since the kids were excited and the tickets already paid for. Q and her son came with us which was nice. While it was a good show and the kids did enjoy themselves I was really too drained to be there. It didn't let out until 10p!! Got home, kids to bed and went to sleep.

Thursday and Friday were two long days at work. Thursday my bosses knew something was up and pulled me into their office. The asked me what was wrong and I just broke down, sobbing in the office. I guess I can deal with so much continued stress everyday, but this pump thing just sent me over the edge. I couldn't deal anymore. Luckily my bosses are friends (as much as you can be friends with your bosses) and they were very supportive and encouraging.

The service people came out to the house Thursday and found that it was a simple repair - THANK GOODNESS - and fixed it. I got the bill today and while it's still a stress, I will be able to pay it in full. I can't wait until my damned refund gets here and takes some of this stress away.

Today we spent the whole day in pj's. M actually went to bed in the same pj's he woke up in. We all napped and I didn't lift a finger all day. It was kind of nice to have a day like this. Tomorrow I will have to get back to reality and start cleaning this house, doing the laundry and getting back to everything else I have to do. Next week is the twins birthday and birthday party so I am REALLY hoping it's a good one. I don't want to be stressed and depressed when it should be a time of celebration.