A Very Sad Day

A good friend of mine lost her precious baby this morning. His name is Jordan Robert and he was a beautiful little boy. Sadly after not being able to detect a heart beat at home with her dopplar, she went to the ER where the staff confirmed her concern and found that her highly anticipated son has passed away. She was induced and horrifically labored until early this am when she delivered her little angel.

While I can understand the pain associated with the loss of a child, I cannot imagine the pain, anger and experiences her and her family have endured the last 48 hours. She has been handed many challenges with motherhood and its undeniably unfair that she now has to endure this.

This was her fourth son. Her first a singleton, followed by twins. Unfortunately they were born premature, around 27 weeks, and despite a rocky start and some complications, there are doing extremely well now and have no long standing deficits. That should have been enough...but no.

I felt a bond to her because we both wanted to have another child about 2 years ago and we both were planning on it, when we both were diagnosed with chronic health conditions. We both had to wait and we did so together, complaining together and growing impatient together. I got the go-head before she did, but by the time M was born, she was graduating from the first trimester.

Due to preterm labor with the twins, and her chronic illness she had been watched extremely closely. But as the weeks went by, all scans showed a healthy baby and pregnancy. There seemed to be no looming trouble. We even chatted last Sunday and I gave her a box of M's clothes. We talked about her upcoming baby shower and that if she were to experience pre-term labor at 30 weeks, we was out of the woods. Well while we were all looking at pre-term labor, it seems another, freak occurrence snuck in. To me this makes it all the harder to understand. She was beating all the odds on her known risks and potential complications and then to be hit with this 'freak' thing. Its just not fair.

Tonight my heart aches for my friend. I am angry and upset that this happened. She is so strong and has posted on her blog a wonderful post about how her son is with Jesus and she knows this happened for a reason. She is so much stronger than I.

Please keep her in your hearts and prayers. Hope that her, her husband, their three boys and family can heal from this. Hope that I can find a way to be there for her without feeling incredibly guilty about having M, a son who was supposed to be getting a play mate in a few short months.